16 months you say?

So I am really, truly hoping that my attorney can get help me build a strong enough case for the SSA to get it approved quicker than the current average wait time. Right now, for this area, the wait for a hearing is approximately 16 months. We'd have to live with my sister and BIL for another year, minimum. I say another year because in a year's time both of our cars will be paid off and we may be able to swing living on our own without two car payments to worry about. Most of our other bills are pretty insignificant amounts.

16 months. Our government really sucks.

There is some good news about the wait time, though. The back-pay award will be massive. My monthly award is $957. Multiply that by the 24-ish months it'll take to get approved. That's roughly $23,000 in back-pay. I'm trying to imagine having that much money at my disposal. Of course, we'll owe the attorney $5,300 of that. So, okay, about $18,000 at my disposal. We could pay off every bill we have and still have a big pile of money to roll around in. We could think about buying a house and actually have money for closing costs and everything else. We could pay for a round of IVF out of our pockets if we really wanted to. (Though I seriously doubt I'll want to.) Of course, I'm hoping that we can play the 'dire need' card and get my hearing date moved up. Or, even better, get an 'on the record' review which would get my case approved immediately. The judge cannot disapprove my claim by doing an on the record review. S/he can only either approve it or decide that I need to go through a hearing. Seems like a win/win to me. The 'dire need' thing just trips me out. The representative that helped me with all the paperwork and will be filing my appeal said we should wait on the dire need letter when our situation becomes more desperate.

I'm sorry, but I don't really see how my situation could be more desperate short of losing my cards, destroying my credit, and being homeless. My sister and BIL are footing the bill for housing me. They are forking out about $150 extra a month for the extra electric and water that The Monkey and I are using. Now this isn't to say that we don't help out in other ways. We do help out with the kids whenever asked. And we frequently offer to help when not asked. I buy laundry soap regularly even though a bottle of soap would last The Monkey and me six months or better. My sister hasn't bought toilet paper since we moved in (and four adults and three kids go through a LOT of toilet paper). Even still, it doesn't seem like enough. And really, just because we have somewhere to live doesn't mean that it's going to stay that way. My BIL is in the Army, after all, and he is currently on orders to go to Fort Bliss in July of this year. At which time we very well could become homeless in the strictest sense of the term. We have very little assets. We own a couch and a bed, a computer that's pretty dated (though still functional), a TV from the mid-90s that's probably not worth much. Other than that, we own a front loading washer and dryer set. Our cars aren't paid for yet and, therefore, cannot be called assets. I just feel that being a couple of 35 and 28 that we should be able to support ourselves and the fact that we can't just, in my opinion, screams dire need.

But what do I know.

At any rate, I'm hoping that we survive this whole convoluted process and come out successful and not in financial ruin on the other side.

The fact that I do, actually, feel better since I've stopped working is both a blessing and a curse. Just because I look functional on the surface does not mean that if I went out and tried to get a job that I wouldn't lose it again. I'd be like a bomb with a lit fuse. There would be no telling how long I could handle the stress of working a normal job before I'd have a meltdown. Which is why I applied for disability in the first place. Why stay in a perpetual cycle of 'get hired, get fired' if I can maintain a happier and healthier existance by not working? It makes more sense to me, anyway.

Tomorrow we are going out to visit The Monkey's brother and niece. His niece's birthday is Saturday but her dad won't have her that weekend so we're going to go out and give her the gift that was intended to be her Christmas gift. :P Then, hopefully, we'll come home to sing happy birthday and have cake with Madison. My sister is finally getting around to baking her first birthday cake. :P She had an ear infection on her birthday so my sister put off baking her a cake. Then the holidays rolled around and everyone just got so gosh-darn busy that she put it on the back burner. My sister felt horrendously guilty so she went out and bought a heart-shaped cake pan and pink frosting and 'happy birthday' candles and a cute little outfit that says 'Birthday Girl' on the front for Madison to wear.

Now it is time for me to take my 3.5 mg piece of a 15 mg Zyprexa pill so I can get some sleep. The 3.5 mg seems to be just enough to knock me out for about 10 hours. I can't imagine how badly the entire 15 mg would wipe me out. Then again, I can, because 100 mg of Seroquel (a low dose by all standards) used to turn me into nothing short of a semi-functional zombie.

I really need to increase my dose of Lithium from the 300 mg I've been taking to the 900 mg I'm supposed to be taking. I just can't even begin to say how much I hate the stuff. But, hey, maybe if I start getting all of the nasty side effects that I've had in the past my SSD case will be more compelling. 'See, Your Honor, I'm a good little girl and I take my medication and it makes me a lot less crazy but now my hands shake so badly that I can't even drink a cup of hot coffee with one hand!' Or something.