ohhh... the 2WW

I hate the 2WW. Have I ever mentioned that? It's agonizing. At least I get to entertain myself by peeing on sticks and watching them get lighter and lighter ... and lighter ...

And then of course hopefully darker again!

I teeter between absolutely terrified/nervous and really, really excited. I held on to my piece of moonstone throughout the whole "procedure." I wore a pair of lucky socks (which my RE actually commented on.. hah!). I wore the bracelets my mom made me.

Tony and I both wore Auburn t-shirts yesterday. We were a bit "afraid" being in Bama country and all that. But we had soooo many people walk by us and say "War Eagle" it was uncanny! I enjoyed it very much. (Also, the hospital cafeteria has really good food! :P)

the curse of the oompa loompa

If you've ever seen Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory (the original) you remember Veruca Salt and her demanding nature. "But I want an Oompa Loompa now!" This line spawned what one of my friends calls Oompa Loompa syndrome. Simply not having the patience to wait on what you want.

I can't really say I have Oompa Loompa syndrome when it comes to TTC. After all, I've been 4 years and 8 months worth of patient, haven't I? But I find myself growing increasingly impatient these days. I want my BFP and I want it NOW.

It doesn't look like Christmas is going to be extra special this year. I took a dollar tree test and an Answer early result and both were stark white. Foiled again. Ok, ok... I'm only 9 DPO and that gives me a few more days to get my BFP. I'm not expecting any miracles, though. If I do get a BFP, I'll print this entry out and eat my words. Literally.

So I guess now the thing to do is take a look at our finances and start planning for an IUI in January. One trip to Birmingham and probably two trips to Montgomery. I'm not looking forward to it so I really hope it works the first time around.

Of course, all of this is barring my RE doesn't find anything unusual on my SHG. If she does, then another lap/hysteroscopy is in order. :-/

newbie thoughts a brewin'

Two days ago (aka 5 DPO) I started having this unusual backache. I'm used to my upper back bothering me because I live with chronic pain in my c-spine, but lower back pain is completely foreign. My lower back, surprisingly enough, NEVER bothers me. Except when AF is on her way. Then I get a slight ache in my lower back accompanied by aching hips and menstrual cramps. And this is exactly what started happening the other day only at 5 DPO I shouldn't have been having any cramps at all. Or anything, really.

I haven't done anything out of the ordinary that would cause a lower backache. I haven't done any lifting or exercised strenuously. I've been sleeping fine and even took muscle relaxers a couple days running so surely it wasn't a muscular thing. So what do I start thinking? The stupidest thing EVER. Maybe it's a symptom of implantation! Yeah... so completely newbie of me. [eye roll] So the thought was mostly fleeting but my heart likes to get crushed so the hope is still lingering that something might be going on in there.

I've finished testing out my trigger - my test was stark white today. So the real wait begins now. Just a few more days and I'll go out and buy a box of "real" tests (as opposed to Dollar Tree tests and ICs). I'll take my first one at 10 DPO and pretty much know that if it's negative I'm not pregnant. But I'll test again on 11 DPO and 12 DPO (beta day) to make sure.

Something tells me to be prepared to drive up to Birmingham next cycle. :-/ Of course, I felt the same way on my BFP cycle in April so my gut instincts cannot be trusted, I guess. I guess I just lack the optimism gene.

Moo.

2WW Stress!

So I'm 4 DPO (6 DPTrigger) and the worry has set in. I told myself that I wouldn't put much stock in this cycle but apparently I didn't listen.

I really want this to be it. I'm so tired of going through this same old routine cycle after cycle. I guess I just need to focus on something else. (Like Christmas maybe?)

So speaking of Christmas, I got most of my shopping done. I still need to buy for my mom, dad, sister, and BIL but that's it! I'm still stuck on what to get my mom and sister. I'm getting my dad a Lowe's gift card and my BIL... well, I haven't decided what to get him yet either. Maybe something Dallas Cowboys.

Tony is all shopped for. He got his Xbox 360 yesterday. :-o I also got him Guitar Hero II and Guitar Hero III. I want to get him a subscription to GameFly or something similar so we don't spend oodles of money on games that he'll inevitably beat. I also got him a couple of books and a new belt. I'll probably wind up looking at pants again and I'll probably get him a new pair of jeans, too.

I'm not sure what I want for Christmas. I know for sure I want the new Bare Minerals iQuad. And a new bathrobe. But that's really all I can think of. :-/ Oh, yeah, and a BFP would be nice, too, thanks.