out of sorts

Ever since we got home from Pennsylvania I've felt off. The kind of depressed that doesn't have me hiding under my covers and/or crying uncontrollably but kind of going through the motions of what every day life entails. Oh, and I've been spending too much money; perhaps as an attempt to console myself.

It's really strange. The Lamictal has been really phenomenal. I've been pretty functional for months now. I get out of bed and I get a shower and I do my makeup. I run errands that need running. I do chores that need doing.

But ever since our trip, things have just kind of went to hell. I don't really see the point in doing anything so I sit around and do nothing.

It certainly didn't help matters when I sat around all weekend waiting for AF to show. I took my last active pill on Friday. On Monday, I started spotting. No big deal. By Monday night it was a full on period, but nothing too horrific. Thank the heavens for birth control. But then on Tuesday, all hell broke loose. I cannot adequately describe the pain I have been in since Tuesday morning. It started off pretty mild; a little worse-than-normal cramping. But by Tuesday night I was in agony. It felt like something needed to come OUT. The Monkey kept throwing me worried looks and asking if I needed to go to the ER. But our ER doctors here are so incompetent that I refused. I took a Motrin and a Lortab and after another hour of excruciating pain things seemed to die down. I was able to sleep for a couple of hours before needing another Lortab.

The pain woke me up early on Wednesday morning. I sat on the toilet clutching my stomach completely unsure of what to do. My sister took one look and me and said point blank that I was acting like I was in labor. She was afraid that I'd gotten pregnant somehow and was miscarrying. I knew it wasn't possible. Still, the pain was so intense that I had her drag me to the ER crying and trembling.

We spent the entire day there. They gave me several doses of Dilaudid which really didn't do much of anything for the pain. (It wasn't a constant pain, see. It was coming in "waves" which made my sister more concerned that it was like mock labor pains...hmm.) They did an ultrasound and I saw lots of "gunk" on the screen. I was sure that I was seeing clots and that my uterus was contracting trying desperately to pass the tissue. At one point, while in the shower, in a desperate moment of my own, I felt my cervix and found that I could easily fit my fingertip into my cervix. Which I have never been able to do. Ever. The ER doc sent me home with scrips for antibiotics since my white count was up. I'm going to see my RE on Monday for bloodwork and ultrasound. The ER gave me paperword about PID and now I'm terrified that I may have it. Though I don't see how.

Most likely this is the result of polyp regrowth. Possibly endo as well. I guess we'll see on Monday. I will be happy to start my new pack of birth control tomorrow, that is for sure.

Now I must lie down because Lortab makes me feel ill. But it's either be almost completely immobile and pain free or completely immobile and writhing in agony. :-/

Because 10 Years is a LONG time...

But 25 is even longer...

Here are a few pictures of our vacation/visit so far. We went to my dad's house on Wednesday and surprised him. He had NO clue we were coming. He thought my oldest sister (who lives here in PA) was visiting us down in Alabama. It was a fantastic night that words can't even begin to describe. First it was just my sisters and me with the kids. Then my brothers all showed up. All seven of us kids were together for the first time EVER. The four of us (my sisters, brother, and I) were together for the first time in 25 years. We're going to have professional portraits done on Sunday. Tomorrow is Dad's 60th birthday party -- also a surprise.



It's hard to see the look on Dad's face in this picture but trust me, it was one of complete and utter disbelief! :D



Sitting next to Daddy. I think he was still in shock. He was grinning from ear to ear the whole time.



All four of us with Mommy for the first time in 25 years.

17 hours is too much

What a long drive. I can't even describe it. I've done 12 hours but my what a difference five hours makes.

More later. I need to shower. But we are here safe and sound. I can't wait to surprise our dad for his 60th! He still has NO idea that we're here. :D