IUI #2 = probable fail

Which sucks because I was stupid enough to get my hopes up when the Clearblue Easy +/- test came up with a + within a minute. But I know better than to trust blue dye tests. And the Answer I took with the same cup of wizz was negative. I thought I saw something on the ICs I bought but I'm sure now that it was my imagination because the CBE Digital said 'Not Pregnant.' I am 10 DPO. I know that there's still a sliver of a chance of hope that things might change between now and my beta on Thursday morning but I'm not betting on it.

I'm scheduled for another laparoscopy (#3) on November 12th. As soon as I get the results from my beta on Thursday I plan to book our hotel (or, y'know, eat my words). We stayed at a really awesome hotel for our IUI and I want to stay there again. Their breakfast was good and they had an evening snackbar thing included with the room. (We missed out on that for the IUI because of the fire on I-65 and the two hour traffic jam we hit because of it.)

I'm not sure what to feel at the moment. I'm just... so tired. Our RE wants to get one more cycle in before the end of the year. I guess that means I'll be getting baselines right around my 30th birthday.

I can only hope that this lap will have similar results to lap #1 (wherein I got PG the cycle following).

I have to say there is a tiny, tiny part of me that's looking forward to a month off. I am definitely looking forward to asking for BCPs and hopefully losing a few of the pounds that I packed on these past three cycles (two IUIs and one natural). Fifteen pounds to be precise. All of my jeans are snug. Not tight but these are the very same jeans that were falling off me.

better luck next time...

BFN.

I'm not surprised but I am still devastated. Now to wait for freaking AF to show up.

...

My 15 year old nephew's 16 year old girlfriend is pregnant. And I get to drive to have my beta drawn tomorrow and find out that it's negative. (Negative pee sticks all week; this morning included.)

Why do two irresponsible teenagers get to have a baby and I can't?

fuck it all

At 10 DPO in April I had a BFP instantly on a good HPT. Nothing today. So I'm pretty much over this cycle. I'm so sick of my body. Sick to death of it.

I'm going to go take a Demerol and hopefully sleep for a few days.

I hate the fucking holidays.