I am ready for Christmas. Well except for buying the kids' gifts. But they won't be back until New Year's Eve at the earliest so I have a couple of extra days. Otherwise I am completely ready. Tomorrow night we are going to take the X-Box over to my parents' house and probably rent The Beatles Rock Band. I have a quart of Dairy Fresh Eggnog in the fridge and will be going to ABC Liquors to get a bottle of spiced rum to add to it. I am also going to make some more mulled wine (my mom LOVED it) and I have a six pack of Mike's Spice Apple as well. Good times are sure to be had.
Life is pretty unspectacular and good all at the same time. We still have yet to put things back together after our recent flooding but we're not going to worry about it until this weekend. It's supposed to rain tomorrow and I would hate to put everything back together tomorrow only to have to tear it back apart again. Since we had to get rid of all the carpeting all we have is a bare concrete floor. Which, granted, might be nice in the summer time but not so much in the winter. We're going to check Lowe's and a few other flooring stores for scrap carpet. We are not doing wall-to-wall this time because that has proved to be a serious hassle.
My very last car payment is due on January 2nd. I cannot even begin to express how happy I am about this! Then The Monkey's last payment is in February. So we'll officially OWN two cars! w00t w00t! One of these days we're going to have to look at getting The Monkey's bumper fixed. (A friend was rear-ended in Panama City back in November 2005. We got the settlement money and, uh, spent it on other things. Seeing how it was November we probably spent it on Christmas. :P)
During the month of October I managed to gain a good eight pounds. I was back up to 217! Thankfully that weight has slowly but surely come off over the past two months. Now I am down to my lowest in years... 207!! If anyone has any ideas for me to drop seven pounds in about a week I would love to hear it. :P (I'm not really considering trying this. I expect that I'll actually gain a few pounds over Christmas and New Years since I plan on drinking.) But seeing as how I'm less than 10 pounds from meeting my weight loss goal for 2009 I won't beat myself up too much!
Having this big ol' house to ourselves is a bit strange. Definitely lonely without my sister and the kiddos. But the quiet is kind of nice. Who doesn't enjoy a bit of peace and quiet once in a while after all?? (Well as peacful and quiet as it can be with five cats and a dog in the house!)
And now I am going to go get dressed and head out to get my eyebrows waxed. Then I will come back home and do my makeup. Trying to figure out what to make for supper. A pot roast sounds good. But, then again, so does meatloaf. Decisions decisions...
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
the rain, rain can bite my rear end!
It has been incredibly wet the past couple of weeks. We had a lot of rain last the Wednesday before last. To our dismay, water got into the garage (aka our living space). We were thankful, however, that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as the incident back in March.
Sunday morning whilst cuddling with The Monkey in bed, our fat cat jumped up with us for some lovin' (he was probably just hungry) and I noticed immediately that his feet were soaking wet. We jumped out of bed and, sure enough, it had flooded again. UGH. But, once again, it wasn't nearly as bad as it was in March. (Though it was worse than the incident a couple of weeks ago.)
We were completely convinced that it was coming in from under the garage door. We weren't exactly right but we were close (it was coming in between the brick and the door frame). At any rate, I rushed to Lowe's to find something that would seal off the crack and hoped that would be the end of our flooding woes.
No such luck. Not at all.
At about 4:00 PM the rain started to fall heavy. It wasn't long before water was just gushing in by the door. We hooked up the Shop-Vac (which doubles as a 'sump pump' as well) and started sucking up the water as it came in. It was working just fine until my sister noticed that water was starting to come in from the back wall. That is where it came in from the first time (from a crack in the floor along the wall). We'd patched it back in April with some liquid concrete sealant stuff. For the most part the patching worked. Perhaps a bit too well because even though it was still seeping in (and rather quickly I might add) the sealing we did slowed it down enough to allow it to rise high enough to get into my sister's house. I feel awful. Even though it's not directly our fault. At any rate, about half of her downstairs den was sopping wet. Carpet and padding and everything. My dad came over and we dug trenches and put down tarps in the pouring rain. We were all soaking wet and completely covered in mud. In the meantime the garage got a good four inches of water. It wasn't standing because it is at enough of a slant that it ran out the door but it was enough to float something small. A golf ball perhaps?
After the rain slowed The Monkey and I cut up and removed all of the carpet (which was also sopping wet) and hauled it outside. Then we rearranged all of the furniture the best we could at the only (very small) spot that has seemed to stay mostly dry. In the process we found ANOTHER leak in the floor. Yay. Once we got that done my sister started hacking at the patching we did in April with a chisel and hammer. As soon as she busted through that stuff and yanked it up water came bubbling out. It looked like a fountain! The Monkey and I did as much squeegeeing as we possibly could. The rain has slowed to a drizzle but we're supposed to get rain this morning sometime around 4:00 AM. Yay again. Then it's supposed to rain all day.
Thankfully I talked to The Monkey's boss and he has tomorrow off so I won't be fighting the flood waters alone. In the meantime we are just trying to figure out what we can do to fix the underlying problem. At this point we are not sure what the problem is. Whether it's a crack in the wall under the house or possibly a foundation leak. Either way, my sister's home owners' insurance does NOT cover flooding.
And I ask... this crap couldn't have waiting until AFTER Christmas?!? UGH UGH UGH.
And now I am going to take my aching body to bed. I am sure to fall out rather quickly (I hope). We are in for a long day tomorrow, that is for sure.
Sunday morning whilst cuddling with The Monkey in bed, our fat cat jumped up with us for some lovin' (he was probably just hungry) and I noticed immediately that his feet were soaking wet. We jumped out of bed and, sure enough, it had flooded again. UGH. But, once again, it wasn't nearly as bad as it was in March. (Though it was worse than the incident a couple of weeks ago.)
We were completely convinced that it was coming in from under the garage door. We weren't exactly right but we were close (it was coming in between the brick and the door frame). At any rate, I rushed to Lowe's to find something that would seal off the crack and hoped that would be the end of our flooding woes.
No such luck. Not at all.
At about 4:00 PM the rain started to fall heavy. It wasn't long before water was just gushing in by the door. We hooked up the Shop-Vac (which doubles as a 'sump pump' as well) and started sucking up the water as it came in. It was working just fine until my sister noticed that water was starting to come in from the back wall. That is where it came in from the first time (from a crack in the floor along the wall). We'd patched it back in April with some liquid concrete sealant stuff. For the most part the patching worked. Perhaps a bit too well because even though it was still seeping in (and rather quickly I might add) the sealing we did slowed it down enough to allow it to rise high enough to get into my sister's house. I feel awful. Even though it's not directly our fault. At any rate, about half of her downstairs den was sopping wet. Carpet and padding and everything. My dad came over and we dug trenches and put down tarps in the pouring rain. We were all soaking wet and completely covered in mud. In the meantime the garage got a good four inches of water. It wasn't standing because it is at enough of a slant that it ran out the door but it was enough to float something small. A golf ball perhaps?
After the rain slowed The Monkey and I cut up and removed all of the carpet (which was also sopping wet) and hauled it outside. Then we rearranged all of the furniture the best we could at the only (very small) spot that has seemed to stay mostly dry. In the process we found ANOTHER leak in the floor. Yay. Once we got that done my sister started hacking at the patching we did in April with a chisel and hammer. As soon as she busted through that stuff and yanked it up water came bubbling out. It looked like a fountain! The Monkey and I did as much squeegeeing as we possibly could. The rain has slowed to a drizzle but we're supposed to get rain this morning sometime around 4:00 AM. Yay again. Then it's supposed to rain all day.
Thankfully I talked to The Monkey's boss and he has tomorrow off so I won't be fighting the flood waters alone. In the meantime we are just trying to figure out what we can do to fix the underlying problem. At this point we are not sure what the problem is. Whether it's a crack in the wall under the house or possibly a foundation leak. Either way, my sister's home owners' insurance does NOT cover flooding.
And I ask... this crap couldn't have waiting until AFTER Christmas?!? UGH UGH UGH.
And now I am going to take my aching body to bed. I am sure to fall out rather quickly (I hope). We are in for a long day tomorrow, that is for sure.
Friday, November 20, 2009
do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...
I started this really inspired entry a couple of weeks ago about the month of November. It was really heart felt. And did I mention inspired? Sadly my inspiration comes in spurts and I wasn't able to finish before I'd gotten side tracked. And I can't remember what I was going to say anyway.
November is an ideal month. Because it has a bonafide holiday for which all of my family members have a paid day off. There is plenty of holiday cooking and cheer but no stress over buying gifts and things like that. Of course, up until this Thanksgiving, The Monkey and I had never been quite so broke. (Financially, I mean. As a married couple we are a well oiled machine most days.) It is rough having to be tight fisted. Not being able to go out and buy stuff on a whim. Or, more accurately, in a manic frenzy. I don't even have credit cards to fuel that anymore. Which is probably a good thing.
Speaking of mania that's exactly what I was when I went to see my new pdoc yesterday. Utterly and completely manic. The drive to D-Town was fascinating (and the drive home even moreso... did you know that long strings of headlights in the dark look a lot like Christmas lights??). I was already positively giddy when I bounded into Starbucks and ordered my Caramel Brulee Latte. I could hardly keep still while I sat in the pdoc's waiting room for almost two hours. This doctor has some kind of thing for peacocks. The waiting room was completely decked out in peacocks. I didn't find this at all odd until I went to the bathroom (too much caffeine!) and found that it too was decorated in peacocks! Complete with a really busy wallpaper. When the nurse finally took me back into a room it TOO was decorated in peacocks. I literally could NOT contain my laughter. When the nurse came in to "interview" me I giggled about the doctor's affinity for peacocks. She laughed too and then showed me their Christmas tree decorations. ALL PEACOCKS. Cue hysterics! I finally stopped laughing long enough to answer all of her questions. I'm not sure if she was entertained or annoyed by all of my side stories. It's, uh, a bit difficult to stay on track when you're manic. (Which is why I hardly ever write anything until after I've come down a bit. Things come out way too...jumbled. A hundred half-finished thoughts in ten seconds. It aren't pretty.) When she left I kicked myself. I was so busy trying to remember everything that I'd left out two BIG BIG parts of my mental health history: my previous self-injurious behavior and my binge/purge...uh...thing. I did tell the pdoc when he finally came in, though.
Once all was said and done, the doc gave me some Prozac (to help with the more frequent depressive episodes) and some Restoril for sleep. I've taken both; I had no real issues with either. (Well, except that one time when I OD'd on Restoril and the fact tha Prozac did cause SSRI-induced mania. But the OD was eight years ago when I was single and wanted very much to die; and the mania problem was all because my previous pdoc didn't have me on any kind of mood stabilizer BEFORE adding the Prozac.) I go back in a month to see how things are going.
I have the distinct feeling that this is not over.
In the meantime I am going to focus on the upcoming stuff-yourself-to-bursting day. And my niece's SECOND birthday. (And try not to focus on the fact that our child would have been almost two, too.) And find THE recipe for Red Velvet Cake for my birthday. And baking Key Lime Cake for my sister's birthday. And celebrating Christmas/the solstice just The Monkey and me this year. (I am seriously considering getting totally sloshed on hard eggnog.) And hunting down some Godiva Chocolate Liqueur for my Chocolatinis for New Year's Eve.
Is 2009 really that close to being over??
Insanity, I tell you. Absolute insanity.
November is an ideal month. Because it has a bonafide holiday for which all of my family members have a paid day off. There is plenty of holiday cooking and cheer but no stress over buying gifts and things like that. Of course, up until this Thanksgiving, The Monkey and I had never been quite so broke. (Financially, I mean. As a married couple we are a well oiled machine most days.) It is rough having to be tight fisted. Not being able to go out and buy stuff on a whim. Or, more accurately, in a manic frenzy. I don't even have credit cards to fuel that anymore. Which is probably a good thing.
Speaking of mania that's exactly what I was when I went to see my new pdoc yesterday. Utterly and completely manic. The drive to D-Town was fascinating (and the drive home even moreso... did you know that long strings of headlights in the dark look a lot like Christmas lights??). I was already positively giddy when I bounded into Starbucks and ordered my Caramel Brulee Latte. I could hardly keep still while I sat in the pdoc's waiting room for almost two hours. This doctor has some kind of thing for peacocks. The waiting room was completely decked out in peacocks. I didn't find this at all odd until I went to the bathroom (too much caffeine!) and found that it too was decorated in peacocks! Complete with a really busy wallpaper. When the nurse finally took me back into a room it TOO was decorated in peacocks. I literally could NOT contain my laughter. When the nurse came in to "interview" me I giggled about the doctor's affinity for peacocks. She laughed too and then showed me their Christmas tree decorations. ALL PEACOCKS. Cue hysterics! I finally stopped laughing long enough to answer all of her questions. I'm not sure if she was entertained or annoyed by all of my side stories. It's, uh, a bit difficult to stay on track when you're manic. (Which is why I hardly ever write anything until after I've come down a bit. Things come out way too...jumbled. A hundred half-finished thoughts in ten seconds. It aren't pretty.) When she left I kicked myself. I was so busy trying to remember everything that I'd left out two BIG BIG parts of my mental health history: my previous self-injurious behavior and my binge/purge...uh...thing. I did tell the pdoc when he finally came in, though.
Once all was said and done, the doc gave me some Prozac (to help with the more frequent depressive episodes) and some Restoril for sleep. I've taken both; I had no real issues with either. (Well, except that one time when I OD'd on Restoril and the fact tha Prozac did cause SSRI-induced mania. But the OD was eight years ago when I was single and wanted very much to die; and the mania problem was all because my previous pdoc didn't have me on any kind of mood stabilizer BEFORE adding the Prozac.) I go back in a month to see how things are going.
I have the distinct feeling that this is not over.
In the meantime I am going to focus on the upcoming stuff-yourself-to-bursting day. And my niece's SECOND birthday. (And try not to focus on the fact that our child would have been almost two, too.) And find THE recipe for Red Velvet Cake for my birthday. And baking Key Lime Cake for my sister's birthday. And celebrating Christmas/the solstice just The Monkey and me this year. (I am seriously considering getting totally sloshed on hard eggnog.) And hunting down some Godiva Chocolate Liqueur for my Chocolatinis for New Year's Eve.
Is 2009 really that close to being over??
Insanity, I tell you. Absolute insanity.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
EPIC FAIL, Congress
I'm not huge on political issues. I kind of like to be mostly oblivious because the news SERIOUSLY stresses me out. I watch the news and I can't sleep for two days because I'm plagues with worry. If a nuclear holocaust is in the works, I'd rather be oblivious, I think.
But the Health Care Reform is something I've kept tabs on. And I spent the entire day today watching C-Span and vehemently arguing with the Democrats and, for the first time in my life, cheering the GOP.
I can't get behind a government run health care system. If I'd wanted to live in a socialist nation I would've renounced my US citizenship, learned German, and applied for German citizenship. I grew up there, after all.
But seriously? A bill that backs abortion but is going to deem infertility treatment as "unnecessary" medical procedures (something that has already been said about PGD and other tests involved with IVF)? A bill that is costly and really accomplishes NOTHING that America really needs? A bill that is going to have taxpayers paying for health care for illegal immigrants?!?
I am so livid I can't even think straight.
And this is why I so rarely watch the news.
This is asinine. I still have hope that the Senate will shoot this down.
But the Health Care Reform is something I've kept tabs on. And I spent the entire day today watching C-Span and vehemently arguing with the Democrats and, for the first time in my life, cheering the GOP.
I can't get behind a government run health care system. If I'd wanted to live in a socialist nation I would've renounced my US citizenship, learned German, and applied for German citizenship. I grew up there, after all.
But seriously? A bill that backs abortion but is going to deem infertility treatment as "unnecessary" medical procedures (something that has already been said about PGD and other tests involved with IVF)? A bill that is costly and really accomplishes NOTHING that America really needs? A bill that is going to have taxpayers paying for health care for illegal immigrants?!?
I am so livid I can't even think straight.
And this is why I so rarely watch the news.
This is asinine. I still have hope that the Senate will shoot this down.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
this is what happens
When depression hits as hard as it has in the past month, things stop getting done. Important things like laundry and scooping the litter boxes. There have been a couple days where I've realized late in the afternoon (sometimes the evening) that I've forgotten to feed the cats.
For the past two weeks The Monkey has had to scrounge for work clothes. I did wash and dry all of the clothes last weekend but I didn't really fold them. And I certainly didn't put anything away (who could be bothered??). So my poor Monkey has had to deal with ironing this week. (Normally he can toss his khakis and a polo into the dryer for a few minutes to "dewrinkle" them.) And searching through heaps of clothes for two matching socks and clean underwear.
Guilt, guilt, guilt.
And so today, the guilt has overtaken the depression momentarily. I've decided that today, I will finish the laundry if it kills me. I will scoop the litter boxes. I will vaccuum and take out the trash. I draw the line at making the bed, though. Pshaw. (And I did remember to feed and water the cats this morning; just so we're clear that I'm not starving my furbabies to death.)
In the mean time, I am babysitting my niece. It's kind of incredible that she is already turning TWO this month. She's a good girl (albeit very spoiled and sometimes rotten). I have to bribe her to get kisses and sometimes she is flat out mean to me for no reason at all. But I guess that's just a toddler for you. My oldest niece was the same way at this age. My nephews, on the other hand, were always loveable to me. So it must be a girl thing.
My whacked out hormones combined with my depression-fueled over eating has caused me to pack on a good 10 pounds. My new jeans are snug. My muffin top is harder to conceal. My face is a LOT fuller. I really and truly need to get back on track with losing weight. I still have two months to meet my resolution/weight loss goal for 2009. I'm toying with the idea of signing us up for Weight Watchers while we still have Cigna insurance. (Cigna offers a discount on Weight Watchers but on January 1st our insurance changes to Blue Cross Blue Shield.) The Monkey is on board for it as long as we don't, you know, fork out the money and then diet for a week or two and quit. Perhaps I'll do some research today in between loads of laundry.
I haven't cooked supper in weeks. So yesterday I went and picked up all of the ingredients to make Philly Cheese Steaks and Tater Tots. We'll see if my Yankee blood shines through.
For the past two weeks The Monkey has had to scrounge for work clothes. I did wash and dry all of the clothes last weekend but I didn't really fold them. And I certainly didn't put anything away (who could be bothered??). So my poor Monkey has had to deal with ironing this week. (Normally he can toss his khakis and a polo into the dryer for a few minutes to "dewrinkle" them.) And searching through heaps of clothes for two matching socks and clean underwear.
Guilt, guilt, guilt.
And so today, the guilt has overtaken the depression momentarily. I've decided that today, I will finish the laundry if it kills me. I will scoop the litter boxes. I will vaccuum and take out the trash. I draw the line at making the bed, though. Pshaw. (And I did remember to feed and water the cats this morning; just so we're clear that I'm not starving my furbabies to death.)
In the mean time, I am babysitting my niece. It's kind of incredible that she is already turning TWO this month. She's a good girl (albeit very spoiled and sometimes rotten). I have to bribe her to get kisses and sometimes she is flat out mean to me for no reason at all. But I guess that's just a toddler for you. My oldest niece was the same way at this age. My nephews, on the other hand, were always loveable to me. So it must be a girl thing.
My whacked out hormones combined with my depression-fueled over eating has caused me to pack on a good 10 pounds. My new jeans are snug. My muffin top is harder to conceal. My face is a LOT fuller. I really and truly need to get back on track with losing weight. I still have two months to meet my resolution/weight loss goal for 2009. I'm toying with the idea of signing us up for Weight Watchers while we still have Cigna insurance. (Cigna offers a discount on Weight Watchers but on January 1st our insurance changes to Blue Cross Blue Shield.) The Monkey is on board for it as long as we don't, you know, fork out the money and then diet for a week or two and quit. Perhaps I'll do some research today in between loads of laundry.
I haven't cooked supper in weeks. So yesterday I went and picked up all of the ingredients to make Philly Cheese Steaks and Tater Tots. We'll see if my Yankee blood shines through.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
it was only a matter of time
My entire life has been punctuated by mood swings. Sometimes the swings were gradual and I'd slip slowly into a deepening depression. Other times the mood swings were quite violent. Jerking me (and anyone around me) back and forth between my whirlwind of manic mayhem and tarpits of despair.
And then there are the in between times. When I'm not depressed nor am I manic but I'm certainly not euthymic (that is, normal). Mixed states full of pent up, uncontrollable anger and relentless irritability. Those are the worst times. Because no one, not even I, ever knows what to expect.
I find it a bit ironic that Autumn and Winter are my favorite seasons. I love the changing weather. I'd much rather be bundled up under sweaters and long sleeved thermal tees than wearing tank tops and flip flops. (Some of this preference may, in fact, be due to my being overweight and uncomfortable with my appearance, though.) I have an affinity for knee-high socks and boots. Jeans and hooded sweatshirts. And here in Alabama we don't get long enough for me to indulge myself in thick, bundling layers of clothes. Halloween is, and always has been, my favorite holiday. And despite all that I love about this time of year, I can never seem to stave off the inevitable spiral into depression. Which is why I say it's ironic. Because I certainly don't enjoy being depressed.
For weeks I've wanted to do nothing more than crawl under a rock (or, more fittingly, my blanket) and hide. I try to tell myself that there are things to do. I need to do the laundry. I need to pay the bills. I need to go grocery shopping. I need to cook dinner. So I try to get up when The Monkey leaves for work (only to lie back down because I'm just too tired to stay awake at 6:00 AM). Then I try to get up at 8:00 because 8:00 seems like a reasonable enough time to start my day. Eventually 8:00 slips into 10:00 and 10:00 into 11:00 and 11:00 into noon and before I know it it's already 3:00 and almost time for The Monkey to be home from work. And so what's the use in trying to start my day now when it's already over anyway.
But there is still so much to do.
The pdoc I've been seeing since this time last year is not covered under my insurance. The program I've been using is a program for the uninsured. They called me in to update all of my information and paperwork the other day which means they'll soon be asking for proof of income (or lack thereof) and I'll have to show that I am now insured and blah blah blah. It was good while it lasted. (I was getting my very expensive Lamictal for $5.00 a bottle.) In a way, I'm relieved. The pdoc I've been seeing has always been very unreceptive to my opinions on meds. She insisted that I take Zyprexa (nevermind that I had much better results with Abilify). It took me months of being on Lithium and insisting that it wasn't working for her to FINALLY try me out on Lamictal. And she refused to give me a sleep aid and insisted that I take the Zyprexa to help me sleep instead. (Nevermind that I'd rather NOT sleep than take Zyprexa.) So I made an appointment with a new pdoc. A friend of ours uses this doc (her husband and son both see him). I'm not sure what I'm expecting. I know there's no "magical cure" for bipolar disorder. I know that, despite being medicated, I'll always have mood swings. But right now this depression is really relentless and I don't know how much more I can stand. So maybe it's time to supplement the Lamictal with another med. (Surely I didn't expect Lamictal to be my end all, cure all drug anyhow.)
[sigh] What's another horsey on the med-go-round anyway?
And then there are the in between times. When I'm not depressed nor am I manic but I'm certainly not euthymic (that is, normal). Mixed states full of pent up, uncontrollable anger and relentless irritability. Those are the worst times. Because no one, not even I, ever knows what to expect.
I find it a bit ironic that Autumn and Winter are my favorite seasons. I love the changing weather. I'd much rather be bundled up under sweaters and long sleeved thermal tees than wearing tank tops and flip flops. (Some of this preference may, in fact, be due to my being overweight and uncomfortable with my appearance, though.) I have an affinity for knee-high socks and boots. Jeans and hooded sweatshirts. And here in Alabama we don't get long enough for me to indulge myself in thick, bundling layers of clothes. Halloween is, and always has been, my favorite holiday. And despite all that I love about this time of year, I can never seem to stave off the inevitable spiral into depression. Which is why I say it's ironic. Because I certainly don't enjoy being depressed.
For weeks I've wanted to do nothing more than crawl under a rock (or, more fittingly, my blanket) and hide. I try to tell myself that there are things to do. I need to do the laundry. I need to pay the bills. I need to go grocery shopping. I need to cook dinner. So I try to get up when The Monkey leaves for work (only to lie back down because I'm just too tired to stay awake at 6:00 AM). Then I try to get up at 8:00 because 8:00 seems like a reasonable enough time to start my day. Eventually 8:00 slips into 10:00 and 10:00 into 11:00 and 11:00 into noon and before I know it it's already 3:00 and almost time for The Monkey to be home from work. And so what's the use in trying to start my day now when it's already over anyway.
But there is still so much to do.
The pdoc I've been seeing since this time last year is not covered under my insurance. The program I've been using is a program for the uninsured. They called me in to update all of my information and paperwork the other day which means they'll soon be asking for proof of income (or lack thereof) and I'll have to show that I am now insured and blah blah blah. It was good while it lasted. (I was getting my very expensive Lamictal for $5.00 a bottle.) In a way, I'm relieved. The pdoc I've been seeing has always been very unreceptive to my opinions on meds. She insisted that I take Zyprexa (nevermind that I had much better results with Abilify). It took me months of being on Lithium and insisting that it wasn't working for her to FINALLY try me out on Lamictal. And she refused to give me a sleep aid and insisted that I take the Zyprexa to help me sleep instead. (Nevermind that I'd rather NOT sleep than take Zyprexa.) So I made an appointment with a new pdoc. A friend of ours uses this doc (her husband and son both see him). I'm not sure what I'm expecting. I know there's no "magical cure" for bipolar disorder. I know that, despite being medicated, I'll always have mood swings. But right now this depression is really relentless and I don't know how much more I can stand. So maybe it's time to supplement the Lamictal with another med. (Surely I didn't expect Lamictal to be my end all, cure all drug anyhow.)
[sigh] What's another horsey on the med-go-round anyway?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
flippity floppity
So, the month of October has nearly slipped away. I wish the weather would cool off and stay that way for crying out loud. We had a nice little cold spell this weekend (even a frost advisory!) but it's right back into the mid to upper 70s now. And that would be all well and good if it would drop down into the 50s or something at night but it's not getting much lower than 65°. [sigh] Why I ever moved to the south, I'll never know. (Oh, yeah. This was supposed to be a temporary situation. Funny how falling in love and getting married can change EVERYTHING.)
After the Metallica concert I went into one of my post-excitement slumps. Things like that happen to me all the time. It'll most likely happen again after Halloween but maybe I'll get lucky. Who knows. I am looking forward to our Halloween party. Even though this year I won't be able to have Jell-O shots or alcohol of any kind because I'm on a double course of antibiotics. As it turns out I wound up having a recurrance of pelvic pain with my most recent AF. Cultures showed Group B Strep but I can't see how that could cause such bad pain. I'm wondering if something else is going on. Needless to say, if it occurs again with my next AF I'll be stopping my birth control pills and asking for a different one. The pain started when I started the pill. Which is really strange to say the least but whatever. It's not the first time my body has acted out of the norm.
I was so preoccupied with the Metallica concert and we spent a small chunk of money on it that we're not doing elaborate costumes this year. The Monkey is going to dress up as a rock star and I'm going to be his groupie. Heh. I'm considering making us look zombie-fied in some way to make it more Halloween-ish. We shall see.
There is really nothing exciting in my life to speak of. My niece is turning two next month. TWO! My nephews will be 15 and 7. Soon after I'll be turning 29. Almost 30 and still no babies. [sigh] It's a good thing I know plenty of ladies that are in their 40s and having babies. We have to elect new benefits this month. VZW is changing things and will no longer be offering Cigna. I think this could be a good thing. The fertility coverage is different. The new coverage offers treatment of the underlying condition causing the infertility (meaning the PCOS, thyroid disorder, endo, and everything else) but it also covers fertility services (specifically IUI) at 50%. Which is way better than 0% obviously! It's a nice addition and will hopefully come in very handy. Someday. But someday is still pretty far away so I'm going to force myself not to think about it. At all. Ever. [sigh]
Friday I took The Monkey to have his eyes checked after he got a migraine that lasted for about four days. (Well, the migraine pain lasted about a day and a half; the residual pain continued for another two and a half days after.) The Monkey never gets headaches. Well, almost never. But, when he does, they are exclusively migraine in nature. And they are always preceded by an aura (blurry vision) and we can usually use that to get pain meds in him before the pain becomes too much to deal with. We did okay this time, but he had some trouble with bright lights and wound up wearing a hat and dark sunglasses at work. (He's doing everything in his power to keep an impeccable attendance record. It comes down to job security and raises and blah blah blah...) Being the concerned (and intuitive) wife that I am, I scheduled him an appointment with a local optometrist. It was quite the ordeal and the one that got us in was the last one on our list of in network providers. One of the nice things about our medical coverage with VZW is that we have vision coverage. And, as it turns out, said coverage is actually pretty spectacular. After The Monkey's exam (which took over an hour) the optometrist said that he is far sighted. Not horribly so but since he's getting older his eye muscles are wanting to over-compensate for his vision impairment less and less. And the subsequent muscle strain of staring at a computer screen for eight to ten hours a day at work and then coming home and playing World of Warcraft for another three or four is taking its toll. Simply put: his muscles don't care to keep up with his demands anymore. So, glasses it is. They dilated his pupils (of course) so afterwards not only did he look like he'd dropped acid (or taken a couple of hits of Ecstasy) he also had horribly blurred vision for the next few hours. He bickered and complained when we tried to get him to pick out frames. We ("we" being the nurse and me) picked out a few pair and had him model. The first pair turned out to be our favorite. And, luckily, also the cheapest. The frames were $139.99. Then we went over lense options. VSP would've paid 100% of the lens cost if we'd gone with plastic. But plastic is notoriously heavy and scratches easily. So we paid the extra $25 for the polycarbonate. Our plan paid $115 for the frames and then an additional 20% off the remaining cost. So we paid something ridiculously silly for an otherwise pricey pair of frames; $18 if I remember right. Then the $25 for the lenses; $25 for our optometrist office visit copay; $20 for our medical copay (since she looked at the vessels in his eyes to be sure that the problem wasn't something brain related). Total cost: $89. Uh... I paid $200ish for my glasses two years ago! And that's not including the multiple visits to my opthamalogist. (I have other eye 'issues' that require me to see an opthamalogist instead of an optometrist.) So I'm glad that is resolved. We're hoping the glasses get here quickly but the lady did say 10 - 14 business days. UGH. (I also paid a little extra for convenience. I ordered and paid for and walked out with my new glasses within a couple of hours.)
My life is just full of excitment. It's high time that I schedule an appointment with a new psychiatrist. And a new therapist. I should also schedule an appointment with a specialist about my elbow. I'm still dealing with quite a bit of pain in my right elbow. It's been a good five months since this started. It was getting better until about two weeks ago when it started to get bad again. I refuse to just "deal" with the pain anymore.
After the Metallica concert I went into one of my post-excitement slumps. Things like that happen to me all the time. It'll most likely happen again after Halloween but maybe I'll get lucky. Who knows. I am looking forward to our Halloween party. Even though this year I won't be able to have Jell-O shots or alcohol of any kind because I'm on a double course of antibiotics. As it turns out I wound up having a recurrance of pelvic pain with my most recent AF. Cultures showed Group B Strep but I can't see how that could cause such bad pain. I'm wondering if something else is going on. Needless to say, if it occurs again with my next AF I'll be stopping my birth control pills and asking for a different one. The pain started when I started the pill. Which is really strange to say the least but whatever. It's not the first time my body has acted out of the norm.
I was so preoccupied with the Metallica concert and we spent a small chunk of money on it that we're not doing elaborate costumes this year. The Monkey is going to dress up as a rock star and I'm going to be his groupie. Heh. I'm considering making us look zombie-fied in some way to make it more Halloween-ish. We shall see.
There is really nothing exciting in my life to speak of. My niece is turning two next month. TWO! My nephews will be 15 and 7. Soon after I'll be turning 29. Almost 30 and still no babies. [sigh] It's a good thing I know plenty of ladies that are in their 40s and having babies. We have to elect new benefits this month. VZW is changing things and will no longer be offering Cigna. I think this could be a good thing. The fertility coverage is different. The new coverage offers treatment of the underlying condition causing the infertility (meaning the PCOS, thyroid disorder, endo, and everything else) but it also covers fertility services (specifically IUI) at 50%. Which is way better than 0% obviously! It's a nice addition and will hopefully come in very handy. Someday. But someday is still pretty far away so I'm going to force myself not to think about it. At all. Ever. [sigh]
Friday I took The Monkey to have his eyes checked after he got a migraine that lasted for about four days. (Well, the migraine pain lasted about a day and a half; the residual pain continued for another two and a half days after.) The Monkey never gets headaches. Well, almost never. But, when he does, they are exclusively migraine in nature. And they are always preceded by an aura (blurry vision) and we can usually use that to get pain meds in him before the pain becomes too much to deal with. We did okay this time, but he had some trouble with bright lights and wound up wearing a hat and dark sunglasses at work. (He's doing everything in his power to keep an impeccable attendance record. It comes down to job security and raises and blah blah blah...) Being the concerned (and intuitive) wife that I am, I scheduled him an appointment with a local optometrist. It was quite the ordeal and the one that got us in was the last one on our list of in network providers. One of the nice things about our medical coverage with VZW is that we have vision coverage. And, as it turns out, said coverage is actually pretty spectacular. After The Monkey's exam (which took over an hour) the optometrist said that he is far sighted. Not horribly so but since he's getting older his eye muscles are wanting to over-compensate for his vision impairment less and less. And the subsequent muscle strain of staring at a computer screen for eight to ten hours a day at work and then coming home and playing World of Warcraft for another three or four is taking its toll. Simply put: his muscles don't care to keep up with his demands anymore. So, glasses it is. They dilated his pupils (of course) so afterwards not only did he look like he'd dropped acid (or taken a couple of hits of Ecstasy) he also had horribly blurred vision for the next few hours. He bickered and complained when we tried to get him to pick out frames. We ("we" being the nurse and me) picked out a few pair and had him model. The first pair turned out to be our favorite. And, luckily, also the cheapest. The frames were $139.99. Then we went over lense options. VSP would've paid 100% of the lens cost if we'd gone with plastic. But plastic is notoriously heavy and scratches easily. So we paid the extra $25 for the polycarbonate. Our plan paid $115 for the frames and then an additional 20% off the remaining cost. So we paid something ridiculously silly for an otherwise pricey pair of frames; $18 if I remember right. Then the $25 for the lenses; $25 for our optometrist office visit copay; $20 for our medical copay (since she looked at the vessels in his eyes to be sure that the problem wasn't something brain related). Total cost: $89. Uh... I paid $200ish for my glasses two years ago! And that's not including the multiple visits to my opthamalogist. (I have other eye 'issues' that require me to see an opthamalogist instead of an optometrist.) So I'm glad that is resolved. We're hoping the glasses get here quickly but the lady did say 10 - 14 business days. UGH. (I also paid a little extra for convenience. I ordered and paid for and walked out with my new glasses within a couple of hours.)
My life is just full of excitment. It's high time that I schedule an appointment with a new psychiatrist. And a new therapist. I should also schedule an appointment with a specialist about my elbow. I'm still dealing with quite a bit of pain in my right elbow. It's been a good five months since this started. It was getting better until about two weeks ago when it started to get bad again. I refuse to just "deal" with the pain anymore.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
TOTALLY worth it!
This entry is mostly for my benefit. I want to be able to look back at this and remember it with vivid detail.
On Sunday morning, The Monkey and I got up early. We loaded up our suitcase (which was totally too big for what was in it, but whatever) into the Alero and headed to Atlanta.
I had printed the route Google Maps suggested the night before. When The Monkey looked at the directions he asked me if I realized I was trading the mostly straight, two lane highways for winding, curvy back roads. (Well, duh, of course I didn't!) And yet, he insisted that we take my route anyway. I guess for kicks. As it turns out, we got to see some of Alabama's prettier side. It was a bit blustery on Sunday -- chilly with a tad bit of wind -- and we kept driving around curves and over hills through windswept leaves. It was a good thing we had a full tank of gas because we saw three gas stations before we finally hit I-85. And those three were, uh, many miles apart. Either way, we enjoyed this part of the drive quite a lot. Autumn weather always puts me in a good mood.
I was smart and decided not to put on [much] makeup for the drive up. The plan was to get to the hotel early enough to get showered and put on makeup before the concert. This turned out to be a very good decision because about a third of the way through the drive my eyes were starting to water profusely thanks to my fall allergies which STILL haven't let up. We hadn't seen much civilization for miles so the thought of finding a Walgreens or other pharmacy was laughable. Eventually, though, we drove into Tuskegee and sure enough, they had a CVS. We decided to stop. I bought a box of Zyrtec-D (Claritin hadn't done squat for me) and a couple of 5-Hour Energy shots. The Monkey and I both popped a Zyrtec and downed half of one of the energy shots. Half an hour later I could've easily taken a nap. So we opened the second bottle and polished it off. In a few more minutes I was back on full force mode.
Google Maps' directions were spot on for the majority of the drive. We kept a watch on my odometer and the mileage on the 'step-by-step' instructions and they were perfectly timed. The Monkey and I couldn't get over the fact that we'd taken at least nine turns -- all of them right hand turns -- but we still managed to be going north somehow. However, just when we'd thought Google Maps was KING of Internet directionage, we missed our exit off of I-85. The Monkey, being the logical little Libra that he is, told me to get off at the first Hartsfield exit. I didn't argue even though I did NOT want to be at the airport! As soon as we found a spot, we pulled over and he took over driving. (I get far too stressed out when I'm "lost" and/or in heavy traffic. And, let's face it, it's Atlanta. Even on a Sunday morning traffic was pretty heavy.) He asked for directions to I-85 North and we were on our way once again.
Only to get lost again looking for our hotel. (Another Google Maps blunder. We couldn't find "Old National Parkway" try as we may. Even the locals looked at us like we were nuts when we asked. We finally called the hotel and they gave us landmarks to follow. We were there within two minutes of hanging up. Say what you will... there's no substitution for good ol' firsthand experience. :P
Hotel check-in was a breeze. The hotel upgraded us from a single room to a two room suite. Which was wicked convenient seeing as how The Monkey and I can't sleep in the same room and actually get any sleep. (The snoring really is that bad.) So he took the fold out couch and I took the bed (which was about as comfortable as a fold out couch bed). We arrived at 2:30 PM (local time) and I had just enough time to shower and primp. Yes, I "primped" for a rock concert. And I looked pretty damn good, I think.
We decided that it would be better to venture into downtown Atlanta, find the arena, pay the $20 to park, and then walk to find a place to eat. I was craving something nice. A sit down place; not fast food. Specifically a nice steak and a baked potato. Maybe a small salad before dinner. But, not-so-much. It took us nearly an hour to find the place for a couple of reasons. First, another Google Maps blunder. They said a 'slight left' onto Olympic Centennial Parkway after getting onto Spring Street NW. They specified this instruction where there happened to be a Y intersection and we assumed the slight left was taking the left part of the Y. Silly us. As it turned out, we'd gotten off of Spring Street and headed back onto I-85. The Monkey took the next exit off the highway and we wound up somewhere very different. Oh well, at least we got to see LOTS of downtown Atlanta. :P Whoever designed downtown Atlanta obviously works for the city transit system. I cannot imagine trying to DRIVE there every day. It's a mess! A ridiculous network of one way streets. There is no 'go one block and turn around' there! But, whatever. We eventually found the parking garage and started following throngs of fellow headbangers towards the arena. The excitement and anticipation was insane. I was SOOO looking forward to this!
I'll admit to being a little irritated when I saw the size of the crowd waiting to get in. (And VERY disheartened to discover that t-shirts were, at their cheapest, $35 a piece.) I groaned at The Monkey about how people who had seated tickets should have a different entrance than the ones who wanted general admin tickets for the floor. And then what do I hear? A security guard direction the general admissions people to an entrance on the opposite side of the arena. Score one for me! Then we asked about restaurants. Our best choice was the food court in CNN Center. They didn't have steak but they did have sushi. Which, actually, was my second choice in pre-concert dining.
By then, it was 5:00 PM. Showtime was at 7:00. They were supposed to start letting people in at 5:30. The Monkey and I ate. And then sat. And waited. And waited. And waited. By 6:00 I was yawning. (My 5-Hour Energy Shot had totally worn off.) The boredom and fatigue totally eclipsed my excitement (albeit only temporarily). We left the food court around 6:15 to enter the crowded arena. Well, it looked crowded at the time but it was NOTHING compared to how crowded it was when we were leaving. Sheesh!
We got through the gates with no trouble and found our seats pretty quickly. (Lucky us, there was a bathroom right outside of our section.) We were in section 122 -- on the 'bend' of the arena -- in row B. The second row. The picture I found of our seats did not do the view we had justice at ALL. All The Monkey could say was "Damn baby. These are awesome seats!" Hell YEAH. We sat down and got comfortable. Still 45 minutes to showtime. Well, until the opening acts, anyway. We knew Metallica wouldn't be taking the stage until around 9:00 PM. I took a picture of our view with my phone and sent it out. That's when The Monkey pointed out yellow tape on the floor. We were sitting right next to where the bands entered the arena. Another stroke of pure luck! The people around us were all fantastic. Enthused but not overly (or annoyingly) so. We had a few seat jumpers but only two were trouble makers. Third stroke of luck -- a group of four cops were seated directly in front of us. They made it VERY easy to shoo away the two "home boys" that were drunk off their asses and smoking in the non-smoking arena. One of the two idiots nearly fell on top of me when he went to sit down in [somebody else's] seat next to me. If he hadn't been such a tubby little twit he might've went over the rail when The Monkey pushed him. Eventually The Monkey had words with the guy because he tried to light a second cigarette in a no smoking arena. That's when the cops said something and I took off to get security to drag them away. I'm sorry, if you bought shitty tickets to a concert, don't try to jump seats and cause problems for people who paid for GOOD seats. We didn't let them ruin our night, though.
The opening acts -- Gojira and Lamb of God -- were decent. Gojira's drummer was hitting double bass almost constantly which would've been really cool if their sound hadn't been so jacked up. The drums were about all I could hear, unfortunately. I couldn't discern the rhythm, lead, or bass guitars. And I definitely couldn't hear the vocalist. (The volume eventually got to me and I put in earplugs. I was surprised that it actually helped things sound better!) Lamb of God was okay. I like heavy metal. And screaming is okay when it's done in moderation. But it seemed like all the lead singer did was scream. And that's just not my taste in music. After a couple of songs, though, the lead singer gave props to the military. That was the first time I yelled REALLY loud. Heh.
The opening acts lasted about an hour and 15 minutes together. Stage breakdown and setup was an additional 30 minutes or so. The crowd was pretty stir crazy while they were setting up the stage for Metallica. The anticipation was palpable! Finally, after what felt like forever, the lights dimmed and The Ecstasy of Gold started playing (Metallica opens all of their shows with this song). An eruption of screams and yells from the crowd (myself included). I got chills! I am still getting chills thinking about it. A. Maz. Ing. I tried to get pictures of them walking out from my seat (they shooed us away from the railing, damnit) but managed only to get a picture of Rob Trujillo. And only the back of him. Curses. I was hoping for a close up shot of Lars or James.
They opened with That Was Just Your Life and followed immediately with The End of the Line -- both songs from Death Magnetic, the newest album. I'd done a little more research than necessary and was sure on a few of the songs they would play but they threw us a couple that I totally wasn't expecting! Ride the Lightning (from the album of the same name) came next. Then No Remorse from Kill 'Em All (their first album); this was the only song I wasn't very familiar with. They took a quick reprieve to, I'm assuming, set up the pyrotechnics for One from The Monkey's and my favorite album ...And Justice for All. Even if you're not a metal fan you should know this song. It was the first song they made a video for and released on MTV. (Which is one of my very distinct childhood memories. I remember the video very vividly. And, seeing as how I was only like nine, it was very disturbing to watch.) But, wow, it was absolutely INCREDIBLE live. I took a short video of the intro and one of the solos but the sound quality is sucky. The music and crowd were just too over powering. The intro to the song is an overture of gun fire and helicopters. Think Vietnam. And as we were hearing the shots and explosions they timed some kick as pyrotechnic blasts all around the stage. SO AWESOME. I showed my enthusiasm. Uh...a lot. They followed One with two more Death Magnetic songs -- Broken, Beat & Scarred and Cyanide -- and followed that with Sad But True from their self titled album (more commonly known as The Black Album).
Our second "surprise" of the night was Welcome Home (Sanitarium) from Master of Puppets! More chills... it's one of my favorites. Next up they played my two favorite Death Magnetic songs -- All Nightmare Long and The Day That Never Comes. I'm partial to All Nightmare Long because it had to 'grow on me'. Plus it took me several tried before I finally beat it on Hard on Guitar Hero. :P The Day That Never Comes is easily one of my favorite Metallica songs ever. It's not so hardcore; more of a ballad if you will. The followed that up with a crowd favorite (and one we were all expecting) Master of Puppets from the album of the same name. The next song was our next "surprise" -- Blackened from ...And Justice for All. Blackened is a really powerful song. The lyrics are about the destruction of the world by the human race by nuclear war. (Color our world blackened...) After Blackened they followed up with a brief bass solo from Rob. Then everything went dark and quiet. (Well, as quiet as an arena full of headbangers can get...) Then a single light came on and showed James Hetfield on a stool with his guitar and he started playing Nothing Else Matters (from The Black Album) acoustically. Eventually the rest of the band joined in. They followed that up with another Black Album favorite; Enter Sandman. I hadn't been keeping track of the number of songs they'd played up until this point but I knew it had to be getting close to the end. And, sure enough, they took another reprieve. They played the beginning of The Frayed Ends of Sanity from ...And Justice for All (which is the March of the Winkies from The Wizard of Oz) and got the crowd pumped up again. James got on the mic and asked if everyone was still around... commence lots of screaming and HELL YEAHs. ;) Then he busted out with Last Caress (a cover of the Misfits' song). Which was pretty awesome but it's only like a minute long so I felt like we might've gotten a little gypped. Then they played Hit the Lights; some more "old shit" from Kill 'Em All.
And then it was time for the closing song -- Seek & Destroy (also from Kill 'Em All). Seek & Destroy has been their closing song for live shows since their Madly in Anger with the World tour so we were expecting it. The really cool part was that they turned on all of the house lights and dropped hundreds of black beach balls (all imprinted with the Metallica logo) from the ceiling. We were too high up/far back to get a beach ball but it was awesome to watch! (And we were kind of grateful seeing as how people were fighting over them. Uh... no thanks!) After the song ended James gave the crowd props first and then Lars grabbed the mic. He said, and I quote, "We have been criss crossing this great country for the past year and I have to say this is by far the best fucking Sunday night crowd we've had yet!" It was SOOO awesome! And pretty hilarious that he used 'fuck' about five times in 30 seconds. \m/
It was just a kick ass time. If we get the opportunity, we WILL see them in concert again. They put on a hell of a show and kept the energy high all night. I enjoyed the HELL out of myself, that's for sure. (Before they played Seek & Destroy James said something to the effect of "We're going to leave here with a sore throat, maybe a sore neck, but we're all gonna leave here with big smiles on our faces!" And he was absolutely 100% right. My voice was hoarse for the next 24 hours or so afterwards and I noticed on Monday afternoon that my neck hurt. But not the usual pain I'm accustomed to; it was muscle soreness from rocking out for three hours! Sweeeeet...
The crowd leaving the arena was NUTS. I grabbed onto The Monkey's hand with a fierceness you wouldn't believe. He led us through thecattle crowd and we eventually made it outside. Into the 50° chill and RAIN. Gaah! Thankfully we'd both worn hoodies. (Which was awesome at first, because Philips Arena is a hockey arena and there is ice under the stage after all. But with an arena full of body heat and regular pyrotechnic blasts it wound up getting pretty hot.) We found our way back to the parking garage and hopped into the car and waited a good half hour for traffic to thin out enough for us to back out. Silly me hadn't printed reverse directions to get back to the hotel so we got a little lost. When we finally found our way back to the hotel (around 1:30 AM) we both crashed pretty much immediately.
I didn't sleep much. Normally I set the TV on a timer so it doesn't keep me awake but I needed the background noise to drown out The Monkey's snores from the other room. When I finally did turn the TV off (around 4:00 AM) I could hear planes (we were right next to the airport after all). The alarm jolted me awake at 8:00 AM. I took a quick shower and then The Monkey and I headed down for the free breakfast. Nothing to brag about. They had fresh make 'em yourself waffles that were really good. And it filled the void without costing us extra money. We were going to wait until check out at 11:00 but The Monkey said he was awake and ready to go. So we packed up and left early. We stopped at Walmart to buy an FM transmitter for my iPod (we had to rock out to Metallica all the way home, of course!) and then we were on our way.
I was completely ZONKED. Not even a 5-Hour Energy could bring me out of my stupor. The Monkey wanted to stop in Shorter, AL (Victoryland 777 Casino) as a side adventure. When we got there I was absolutely DELIRIOUS. I couldn't stop grinning. And I couldn't even muster the energy to talk. We found a Starbucks inside after a few minutes and I ordered a Mocha Latte with a double shot of espresso. We walked around the casino (which is full of nothing but slots) for about a half hour before we broke a $20 and started feeding some machines. We actually spent $30 but we probably lost about twice that. GRR! But we still had a good time. We got to see the greyhounds up close (they were getting weighed) and we registered for the players' club. I would've liked to play some cards but it didn't look like they offered it. At least cards aren't 100% chance!
The rest of the drive was uneventful. I was so sleepy and even though I tried ridiculously hard to stay awake I passed out after we got outside of Montgomery. I woke up just as we were pulling into town.
The entire experience was so much fun. I'm so glad we splurged on the tickets! I downloaded the concert audio from MetallicaLive.com for $9.95 when we got home. So now we can relive it over and over and over and over... whenever we want! I took something like 260 pictures! The videos I took didn't turn out very good but I'll probably upload them to YouTube at some point anyway. The photos are posted on my Facebook. Some of them are blurry and indiscernible. But there are quite a few that are just AWESOME.
On Sunday morning, The Monkey and I got up early. We loaded up our suitcase (which was totally too big for what was in it, but whatever) into the Alero and headed to Atlanta.
I had printed the route Google Maps suggested the night before. When The Monkey looked at the directions he asked me if I realized I was trading the mostly straight, two lane highways for winding, curvy back roads. (Well, duh, of course I didn't!) And yet, he insisted that we take my route anyway. I guess for kicks. As it turns out, we got to see some of Alabama's prettier side. It was a bit blustery on Sunday -- chilly with a tad bit of wind -- and we kept driving around curves and over hills through windswept leaves. It was a good thing we had a full tank of gas because we saw three gas stations before we finally hit I-85. And those three were, uh, many miles apart. Either way, we enjoyed this part of the drive quite a lot. Autumn weather always puts me in a good mood.
I was smart and decided not to put on [much] makeup for the drive up. The plan was to get to the hotel early enough to get showered and put on makeup before the concert. This turned out to be a very good decision because about a third of the way through the drive my eyes were starting to water profusely thanks to my fall allergies which STILL haven't let up. We hadn't seen much civilization for miles so the thought of finding a Walgreens or other pharmacy was laughable. Eventually, though, we drove into Tuskegee and sure enough, they had a CVS. We decided to stop. I bought a box of Zyrtec-D (Claritin hadn't done squat for me) and a couple of 5-Hour Energy shots. The Monkey and I both popped a Zyrtec and downed half of one of the energy shots. Half an hour later I could've easily taken a nap. So we opened the second bottle and polished it off. In a few more minutes I was back on full force mode.
Google Maps' directions were spot on for the majority of the drive. We kept a watch on my odometer and the mileage on the 'step-by-step' instructions and they were perfectly timed. The Monkey and I couldn't get over the fact that we'd taken at least nine turns -- all of them right hand turns -- but we still managed to be going north somehow. However, just when we'd thought Google Maps was KING of Internet directionage, we missed our exit off of I-85. The Monkey, being the logical little Libra that he is, told me to get off at the first Hartsfield exit. I didn't argue even though I did NOT want to be at the airport! As soon as we found a spot, we pulled over and he took over driving. (I get far too stressed out when I'm "lost" and/or in heavy traffic. And, let's face it, it's Atlanta. Even on a Sunday morning traffic was pretty heavy.) He asked for directions to I-85 North and we were on our way once again.
Only to get lost again looking for our hotel. (Another Google Maps blunder. We couldn't find "Old National Parkway" try as we may. Even the locals looked at us like we were nuts when we asked. We finally called the hotel and they gave us landmarks to follow. We were there within two minutes of hanging up. Say what you will... there's no substitution for good ol' firsthand experience. :P
Hotel check-in was a breeze. The hotel upgraded us from a single room to a two room suite. Which was wicked convenient seeing as how The Monkey and I can't sleep in the same room and actually get any sleep. (The snoring really is that bad.) So he took the fold out couch and I took the bed (which was about as comfortable as a fold out couch bed). We arrived at 2:30 PM (local time) and I had just enough time to shower and primp. Yes, I "primped" for a rock concert. And I looked pretty damn good, I think.
We decided that it would be better to venture into downtown Atlanta, find the arena, pay the $20 to park, and then walk to find a place to eat. I was craving something nice. A sit down place; not fast food. Specifically a nice steak and a baked potato. Maybe a small salad before dinner. But, not-so-much. It took us nearly an hour to find the place for a couple of reasons. First, another Google Maps blunder. They said a 'slight left' onto Olympic Centennial Parkway after getting onto Spring Street NW. They specified this instruction where there happened to be a Y intersection and we assumed the slight left was taking the left part of the Y. Silly us. As it turned out, we'd gotten off of Spring Street and headed back onto I-85. The Monkey took the next exit off the highway and we wound up somewhere very different. Oh well, at least we got to see LOTS of downtown Atlanta. :P Whoever designed downtown Atlanta obviously works for the city transit system. I cannot imagine trying to DRIVE there every day. It's a mess! A ridiculous network of one way streets. There is no 'go one block and turn around' there! But, whatever. We eventually found the parking garage and started following throngs of fellow headbangers towards the arena. The excitement and anticipation was insane. I was SOOO looking forward to this!
I'll admit to being a little irritated when I saw the size of the crowd waiting to get in. (And VERY disheartened to discover that t-shirts were, at their cheapest, $35 a piece.) I groaned at The Monkey about how people who had seated tickets should have a different entrance than the ones who wanted general admin tickets for the floor. And then what do I hear? A security guard direction the general admissions people to an entrance on the opposite side of the arena. Score one for me! Then we asked about restaurants. Our best choice was the food court in CNN Center. They didn't have steak but they did have sushi. Which, actually, was my second choice in pre-concert dining.
By then, it was 5:00 PM. Showtime was at 7:00. They were supposed to start letting people in at 5:30. The Monkey and I ate. And then sat. And waited. And waited. And waited. By 6:00 I was yawning. (My 5-Hour Energy Shot had totally worn off.) The boredom and fatigue totally eclipsed my excitement (albeit only temporarily). We left the food court around 6:15 to enter the crowded arena. Well, it looked crowded at the time but it was NOTHING compared to how crowded it was when we were leaving. Sheesh!
We got through the gates with no trouble and found our seats pretty quickly. (Lucky us, there was a bathroom right outside of our section.) We were in section 122 -- on the 'bend' of the arena -- in row B. The second row. The picture I found of our seats did not do the view we had justice at ALL. All The Monkey could say was "Damn baby. These are awesome seats!" Hell YEAH. We sat down and got comfortable. Still 45 minutes to showtime. Well, until the opening acts, anyway. We knew Metallica wouldn't be taking the stage until around 9:00 PM. I took a picture of our view with my phone and sent it out. That's when The Monkey pointed out yellow tape on the floor. We were sitting right next to where the bands entered the arena. Another stroke of pure luck! The people around us were all fantastic. Enthused but not overly (or annoyingly) so. We had a few seat jumpers but only two were trouble makers. Third stroke of luck -- a group of four cops were seated directly in front of us. They made it VERY easy to shoo away the two "home boys" that were drunk off their asses and smoking in the non-smoking arena. One of the two idiots nearly fell on top of me when he went to sit down in [somebody else's] seat next to me. If he hadn't been such a tubby little twit he might've went over the rail when The Monkey pushed him. Eventually The Monkey had words with the guy because he tried to light a second cigarette in a no smoking arena. That's when the cops said something and I took off to get security to drag them away. I'm sorry, if you bought shitty tickets to a concert, don't try to jump seats and cause problems for people who paid for GOOD seats. We didn't let them ruin our night, though.
The opening acts -- Gojira and Lamb of God -- were decent. Gojira's drummer was hitting double bass almost constantly which would've been really cool if their sound hadn't been so jacked up. The drums were about all I could hear, unfortunately. I couldn't discern the rhythm, lead, or bass guitars. And I definitely couldn't hear the vocalist. (The volume eventually got to me and I put in earplugs. I was surprised that it actually helped things sound better!) Lamb of God was okay. I like heavy metal. And screaming is okay when it's done in moderation. But it seemed like all the lead singer did was scream. And that's just not my taste in music. After a couple of songs, though, the lead singer gave props to the military. That was the first time I yelled REALLY loud. Heh.
The opening acts lasted about an hour and 15 minutes together. Stage breakdown and setup was an additional 30 minutes or so. The crowd was pretty stir crazy while they were setting up the stage for Metallica. The anticipation was palpable! Finally, after what felt like forever, the lights dimmed and The Ecstasy of Gold started playing (Metallica opens all of their shows with this song). An eruption of screams and yells from the crowd (myself included). I got chills! I am still getting chills thinking about it. A. Maz. Ing. I tried to get pictures of them walking out from my seat (they shooed us away from the railing, damnit) but managed only to get a picture of Rob Trujillo. And only the back of him. Curses. I was hoping for a close up shot of Lars or James.
They opened with That Was Just Your Life and followed immediately with The End of the Line -- both songs from Death Magnetic, the newest album. I'd done a little more research than necessary and was sure on a few of the songs they would play but they threw us a couple that I totally wasn't expecting! Ride the Lightning (from the album of the same name) came next. Then No Remorse from Kill 'Em All (their first album); this was the only song I wasn't very familiar with. They took a quick reprieve to, I'm assuming, set up the pyrotechnics for One from The Monkey's and my favorite album ...And Justice for All. Even if you're not a metal fan you should know this song. It was the first song they made a video for and released on MTV. (Which is one of my very distinct childhood memories. I remember the video very vividly. And, seeing as how I was only like nine, it was very disturbing to watch.) But, wow, it was absolutely INCREDIBLE live. I took a short video of the intro and one of the solos but the sound quality is sucky. The music and crowd were just too over powering. The intro to the song is an overture of gun fire and helicopters. Think Vietnam. And as we were hearing the shots and explosions they timed some kick as pyrotechnic blasts all around the stage. SO AWESOME. I showed my enthusiasm. Uh...a lot. They followed One with two more Death Magnetic songs -- Broken, Beat & Scarred and Cyanide -- and followed that with Sad But True from their self titled album (more commonly known as The Black Album).
Our second "surprise" of the night was Welcome Home (Sanitarium) from Master of Puppets! More chills... it's one of my favorites. Next up they played my two favorite Death Magnetic songs -- All Nightmare Long and The Day That Never Comes. I'm partial to All Nightmare Long because it had to 'grow on me'. Plus it took me several tried before I finally beat it on Hard on Guitar Hero. :P The Day That Never Comes is easily one of my favorite Metallica songs ever. It's not so hardcore; more of a ballad if you will. The followed that up with a crowd favorite (and one we were all expecting) Master of Puppets from the album of the same name. The next song was our next "surprise" -- Blackened from ...And Justice for All. Blackened is a really powerful song. The lyrics are about the destruction of the world by the human race by nuclear war. (Color our world blackened...) After Blackened they followed up with a brief bass solo from Rob. Then everything went dark and quiet. (Well, as quiet as an arena full of headbangers can get...) Then a single light came on and showed James Hetfield on a stool with his guitar and he started playing Nothing Else Matters (from The Black Album) acoustically. Eventually the rest of the band joined in. They followed that up with another Black Album favorite; Enter Sandman. I hadn't been keeping track of the number of songs they'd played up until this point but I knew it had to be getting close to the end. And, sure enough, they took another reprieve. They played the beginning of The Frayed Ends of Sanity from ...And Justice for All (which is the March of the Winkies from The Wizard of Oz) and got the crowd pumped up again. James got on the mic and asked if everyone was still around... commence lots of screaming and HELL YEAHs. ;) Then he busted out with Last Caress (a cover of the Misfits' song). Which was pretty awesome but it's only like a minute long so I felt like we might've gotten a little gypped. Then they played Hit the Lights; some more "old shit" from Kill 'Em All.
And then it was time for the closing song -- Seek & Destroy (also from Kill 'Em All). Seek & Destroy has been their closing song for live shows since their Madly in Anger with the World tour so we were expecting it. The really cool part was that they turned on all of the house lights and dropped hundreds of black beach balls (all imprinted with the Metallica logo) from the ceiling. We were too high up/far back to get a beach ball but it was awesome to watch! (And we were kind of grateful seeing as how people were fighting over them. Uh... no thanks!) After the song ended James gave the crowd props first and then Lars grabbed the mic. He said, and I quote, "We have been criss crossing this great country for the past year and I have to say this is by far the best fucking Sunday night crowd we've had yet!" It was SOOO awesome! And pretty hilarious that he used 'fuck' about five times in 30 seconds. \m/
It was just a kick ass time. If we get the opportunity, we WILL see them in concert again. They put on a hell of a show and kept the energy high all night. I enjoyed the HELL out of myself, that's for sure. (Before they played Seek & Destroy James said something to the effect of "We're going to leave here with a sore throat, maybe a sore neck, but we're all gonna leave here with big smiles on our faces!" And he was absolutely 100% right. My voice was hoarse for the next 24 hours or so afterwards and I noticed on Monday afternoon that my neck hurt. But not the usual pain I'm accustomed to; it was muscle soreness from rocking out for three hours! Sweeeeet...
The crowd leaving the arena was NUTS. I grabbed onto The Monkey's hand with a fierceness you wouldn't believe. He led us through the
I didn't sleep much. Normally I set the TV on a timer so it doesn't keep me awake but I needed the background noise to drown out The Monkey's snores from the other room. When I finally did turn the TV off (around 4:00 AM) I could hear planes (we were right next to the airport after all). The alarm jolted me awake at 8:00 AM. I took a quick shower and then The Monkey and I headed down for the free breakfast. Nothing to brag about. They had fresh make 'em yourself waffles that were really good. And it filled the void without costing us extra money. We were going to wait until check out at 11:00 but The Monkey said he was awake and ready to go. So we packed up and left early. We stopped at Walmart to buy an FM transmitter for my iPod (we had to rock out to Metallica all the way home, of course!) and then we were on our way.
I was completely ZONKED. Not even a 5-Hour Energy could bring me out of my stupor. The Monkey wanted to stop in Shorter, AL (Victoryland 777 Casino) as a side adventure. When we got there I was absolutely DELIRIOUS. I couldn't stop grinning. And I couldn't even muster the energy to talk. We found a Starbucks inside after a few minutes and I ordered a Mocha Latte with a double shot of espresso. We walked around the casino (which is full of nothing but slots) for about a half hour before we broke a $20 and started feeding some machines. We actually spent $30 but we probably lost about twice that. GRR! But we still had a good time. We got to see the greyhounds up close (they were getting weighed) and we registered for the players' club. I would've liked to play some cards but it didn't look like they offered it. At least cards aren't 100% chance!
The rest of the drive was uneventful. I was so sleepy and even though I tried ridiculously hard to stay awake I passed out after we got outside of Montgomery. I woke up just as we were pulling into town.
The entire experience was so much fun. I'm so glad we splurged on the tickets! I downloaded the concert audio from MetallicaLive.com for $9.95 when we got home. So now we can relive it over and over and over and over... whenever we want! I took something like 260 pictures! The videos I took didn't turn out very good but I'll probably upload them to YouTube at some point anyway. The photos are posted on my Facebook. Some of them are blurry and indiscernible. But there are quite a few that are just AWESOME.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
and they're off......
We're leaving for Atlanta in about 20 minutes' time. I am thoroughly excited. Well, excited about tonight... not so much excited about driving four hours. But I'm sure it'll be worth it.
Looking forward to posting some pictures on Monday or Tuesday.
Did I mention that I am excited??
Looking forward to posting some pictures on Monday or Tuesday.
Did I mention that I am excited??
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
quoth the raven
Today it was absolutely GORGEOUS out. Mid-70s, sunny, breezy. No humidity to speak of, really. I love this weather. The weatherman says it is supposed to stay this way all through next week. I really hope he is right!
I've been toying with the idea of dying my hair. Since the color on top faded into a brassy red. (This is why I stopped loving red. I simply can't afford to keep it up.) Since the color underneath is a dark brown, almost black, I was considering trying out black. But I was scared to go with permanent dye. So I tried some semi-permanent Manic Panic dye today in Raven. It turned out nice! Now I just have to see how quickly it washes out/fades. Hoping it lasts through Sunday! If not, I have another jar and hopefully can convince my sister to touch it up for me. ;P
I've been toying with the idea of dying my hair. Since the color on top faded into a brassy red. (This is why I stopped loving red. I simply can't afford to keep it up.) Since the color underneath is a dark brown, almost black, I was considering trying out black. But I was scared to go with permanent dye. So I tried some semi-permanent Manic Panic dye today in Raven. It turned out nice! Now I just have to see how quickly it washes out/fades. Hoping it lasts through Sunday! If not, I have another jar and hopefully can convince my sister to touch it up for me. ;P
Thursday, September 17, 2009
thank you AOL radio
I used to think a couple of the local rock stations were absolutely awesome because they had a segment at night that they called "Mandatory Metallica" where they played five or six Metallica songs back to back. (One also used to have a "Mandatory Maynard" segment where they did the same thing with Tool songs.)
But AOL Radio takes the cake. They have an All Metallica All the Time channel. Absolutely genius.
Thank you, AOL Radio. Thank you.
But AOL Radio takes the cake. They have an All Metallica All the Time channel. Absolutely genius.
Thank you, AOL Radio. Thank you.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
adventures with falsies!
I've been contemplating makeup possibilities for the concert. I mean, when I "dress up" I really like to coordinate things. Oh who am I kidding... you all know me well enough that I LOVE to coordinate even when I'm not dressing up. But special occasions (especially ones so far in advance) allow me the opportunity to experiment and play. Mostly I've been playing with grays with hints of black. But it just hasn't seemed...sharp enough for a heavy metal concert. Even the smokey look seems a bit too tame (if you can believe that). So I decided to throw my inhibition to the wind and experiment with dark, heavy grays and black liner. Also, since dark colors on my lids tend to mask the fact that I actually do have eyelashes, I am going to try out some falsies. Heh.
Tonight I came up with this kind of on a whim. It looks okay, I guess. Definitely closer to what I'm aiming for.
I really dig the false eyelashes. I didn't actually apply them with glue yet, but they fit my eyes perfectly and didn't feel strange at all. If these work out, I think I might try some with glitter.
Tomorrow I am going to try this look:
I really like how she went "outside the box" and put dark in the corners of her eyes and left the middle of her lid neutral. We'll see how I do.
(And just so I don't look like a thief, I found the tutorial here. She is speaking German, though. Too bad I didn't, you know, learn more German while I was living in Germany for 11 years. Oh the shame!)
Tonight I came up with this kind of on a whim. It looks okay, I guess. Definitely closer to what I'm aiming for.
I really dig the false eyelashes. I didn't actually apply them with glue yet, but they fit my eyes perfectly and didn't feel strange at all. If these work out, I think I might try some with glitter.
Tomorrow I am going to try this look:
I really like how she went "outside the box" and put dark in the corners of her eyes and left the middle of her lid neutral. We'll see how I do.
(And just so I don't look like a thief, I found the tutorial here. She is speaking German, though. Too bad I didn't, you know, learn more German while I was living in Germany for 11 years. Oh the shame!)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
pumpkin spice and everything nice...
Since The Monkey started working full time + frequent overtime, I sort of relish our weekend time together. (Last weekend was nothing short of bliss with the three days and all that.) Unfortunately, my love of our weekend time together has led me to be a bit of a homebody. Last weekend I spent an entire DAY doing nothing. We were lazy all day long. I didn't even shower. :P
This weekend was sort of the opposite. Yesterday I woke up with an urge to go to D-Town. Mostly because I had a serious hankering for a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.
I am sort of on a mission to find something cute yet comfortable, punk rocker yet chick to wear to the concert. (I already know what The Monkey is going to wear -- jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers. Men have it SO easy.) In my head, I had this ultimate outfit pictured. Blacks and dark grays. Maybe some red. Dark wash, distressed jeans. Black (comfortable) boots. I've been pretty set on a t-shirt and hoodie type deal as per the recommendation of the Internets. (People insist that Philips Arena stays rather chilly even when jam packed with people because it is, ultimately, a hockey arena so there is a big hunk of ice under the stage.) So I thought a shopping trip would lend an idea or two.
No such luck. I searched the Mall, Target, Lane Bryant... nothing jumped out at me. I really loved this hoodie I saw at Kohl's but it only went up to an XL and it wouldn't zip around my big gut and huge-mongous boobs. [grumble] I also found an awesome ...And Justice For All t-shirt at Hot Topic that The Monkey would've LOVED but there was NO way I was going to pay $17 + tax for a t-shirt. (Especially not when the hoodie was only $30.) We wound up stopping in Ulta because my sister and I cannot go to D-Town and NOT stop in Ulta. We mostly browsed. I did come across a display of nail polish that boasted "Paint and Peel". I was curious so I picked up the black and brushed a few strokes onto my thumb nail. Surprisingly enough, it was very pretty. Especially for black nail polish. I showed my sister and she agreed that it was, indeed, pretty. After it dried, I tried the "peel" aspect out. It really works! The polish came off in one piece. So, I bought it. :P When we got home I immediately went to manicuring my nails. I don't really bite them but they do have a tendency to split and crack. So I filed them down all nice and neat. I massaged my cuticles and pushed them down. And then I painted. I added an "embellishment" with a red Sally Hansen Nail Art Pen (just some red X's, nothing fancy). I must say they turned out pretty cool. I even got a compliment from the sales clerk in Maurice's. :)
Even though the shopping trip was fruitless, we still had fun just wandering around. My sister picked up some really cute pajamas for Madsion. And I cured my craving for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. The only bad that came from the trip was the five inch crack in my windshield. UGH. On our way there we heard a rock hit it. We didn't see anything so I hoped I got off lucky. Not so much, as it turns out. :(
Today I went to Maurice's with very little hope of finding what I was looking for. But, lo and behold, I found THE outfit. Hooray! The top was 50% off plus an additional 40% off. I bought a couple pieces of [costume] jewelry. (I won't be wearing anything that is valuable to the concert. If I'll be devastated by losing it, it's staying at home.) Overall I think the outfit is super cute. I already have the makeup look in mind (a smokey look with light gray accented with darker grays and black).
Maybe I put too much thought into the whole "what to wear" thing. I can't help it. I mean, if I were going out for dinner or to a club or a bar I'd be doing the same thing. We don't go out much and I don't really "dress up" much. So I'm kind of just having fun with it. :P
It is going to be a really, really LONG three weeks.
This weekend was sort of the opposite. Yesterday I woke up with an urge to go to D-Town. Mostly because I had a serious hankering for a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.
I am sort of on a mission to find something cute yet comfortable, punk rocker yet chick to wear to the concert. (I already know what The Monkey is going to wear -- jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers. Men have it SO easy.) In my head, I had this ultimate outfit pictured. Blacks and dark grays. Maybe some red. Dark wash, distressed jeans. Black (comfortable) boots. I've been pretty set on a t-shirt and hoodie type deal as per the recommendation of the Internets. (People insist that Philips Arena stays rather chilly even when jam packed with people because it is, ultimately, a hockey arena so there is a big hunk of ice under the stage.) So I thought a shopping trip would lend an idea or two.
No such luck. I searched the Mall, Target, Lane Bryant... nothing jumped out at me. I really loved this hoodie I saw at Kohl's but it only went up to an XL and it wouldn't zip around my big gut and huge-mongous boobs. [grumble] I also found an awesome ...And Justice For All t-shirt at Hot Topic that The Monkey would've LOVED but there was NO way I was going to pay $17 + tax for a t-shirt. (Especially not when the hoodie was only $30.) We wound up stopping in Ulta because my sister and I cannot go to D-Town and NOT stop in Ulta. We mostly browsed. I did come across a display of nail polish that boasted "Paint and Peel". I was curious so I picked up the black and brushed a few strokes onto my thumb nail. Surprisingly enough, it was very pretty. Especially for black nail polish. I showed my sister and she agreed that it was, indeed, pretty. After it dried, I tried the "peel" aspect out. It really works! The polish came off in one piece. So, I bought it. :P When we got home I immediately went to manicuring my nails. I don't really bite them but they do have a tendency to split and crack. So I filed them down all nice and neat. I massaged my cuticles and pushed them down. And then I painted. I added an "embellishment" with a red Sally Hansen Nail Art Pen (just some red X's, nothing fancy). I must say they turned out pretty cool. I even got a compliment from the sales clerk in Maurice's. :)
Even though the shopping trip was fruitless, we still had fun just wandering around. My sister picked up some really cute pajamas for Madsion. And I cured my craving for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. The only bad that came from the trip was the five inch crack in my windshield. UGH. On our way there we heard a rock hit it. We didn't see anything so I hoped I got off lucky. Not so much, as it turns out. :(
Today I went to Maurice's with very little hope of finding what I was looking for. But, lo and behold, I found THE outfit. Hooray! The top was 50% off plus an additional 40% off. I bought a couple pieces of [costume] jewelry. (I won't be wearing anything that is valuable to the concert. If I'll be devastated by losing it, it's staying at home.) Overall I think the outfit is super cute. I already have the makeup look in mind (a smokey look with light gray accented with darker grays and black).
Maybe I put too much thought into the whole "what to wear" thing. I can't help it. I mean, if I were going out for dinner or to a club or a bar I'd be doing the same thing. We don't go out much and I don't really "dress up" much. So I'm kind of just having fun with it. :P
It is going to be a really, really LONG three weeks.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
living in the moment
I have a bad, bad tendency to live my life in moments. Not little, insignifcant moments but BIG and potentially life altering moments. Everything in between becomes dismissable. Which is a shame because life isn't always about the BIG moments.
I think this is why I don't write as much anymore. I don't really have anything to say unless something exciting is going on. And even then I find it difficult to write because I get so caught up that I sort of get lost for words.
The holidays are coming up. I am sad to think that we may truly have to hide under a rock. Or run away. So people don't buy us gifts and we aren't expected to buy anyone else gifts. Last year we didn't have the money but we had the credit and that is what we used. But as it stands, every single solitary credit card we have is maxed out. Or nearly maxed out. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. I miss the days when I was absolutely TERRIFIED of credit cards. I miss the days where I was totally and completely 100% debt free. Now I'm barely treading water with the credit cards. And my six month grace period on my student loans ends this month. Now I have to do a mad dash to call everyone and convince them that I am unable to pay my loans at this time and request a deferrment. Honestly, that's not the part that scares me. The part that scares me is the amount of interest $60,000 can accrue in a mere year's time. It almost makes me want to feign death. Does the government forgive student loan debt after you die? I am happy to say, however, that as of February 2010, we OWN two cars. Two cars that have been very reliable over the past five years. Let's hope they STAY that way.
I'm still finding it a bit hard to believe that another year is nearly over. I keep thinking of a former coworker that always used to tell me the older you get the quicker time seems to pass. I find that it becomes truer with every passing year. The Monkey and I are watching the kids for my sister this evening. They went to visit my sister's best friend in Georgia. (The family was there for a funeral and it's basically "right around the corner" so she went to show support.) Madison is growing up so quickly. It was getting close to her bedtime. She gave me a fit about putting clothes on (she, uh...likes being naked) but once she was in her jammies (which I tried to hype up as much as possible since they were new big girl jammies) she was fine. I sat with her in the glider and started scrolling through all the pictures on my phone. I have quite a few of my sister on there and every time we came to one I said "Who's that?" and she'd grin really big and say "Dada!" I couldn't help but laugh and say "No, that's MomMom." Then we'd come across a picture of me and she'd say "Oh! MomMom!" Once again, laughter and then correction. (She also called a picture of her Aunt Desirée 'MomMom' too.) I also have quite a few pictures of her in there. I came across one I took when I first got my phone (in late January) and was kind of amazed how much she's changed. And my GOSH how much hair she's gotten! I looked at a picture of her when she was about six months old she was SO bald. And she pretty much stayed that way until she was well over a year. But now.. it seems her hair is growing like wild fire. I kept brushing it out of her eyes to no avail. She needs a "pretties" in her hair to keep it out of her face but it's quite a feat getting her to keep any kind of bow, barette, or rubberband in her hair. She is cute as a button, though. We still can't decide what color her eyes are. They are definitely NOT the crystal-clear blue that my nephews and niece all have. But they are not the distinct green that my sister has, either. I think she's going to have eyes like mine. The kind that change color. All of my identification has 'blue' as my eye color but anyone that looks me in the eye will tell me they are more green. Ever since my sister found out she was pregnant with my oldest nephew I wanted her to have a green-eyed little girl. Maybe she finally does.
I've been on birth control for nearly two months now. I can't say I'm loving it. Having PCOS means my body chemistry is bass ackwards. The majority of women gain weight on the pill -- I've always lost weight. But not so much this time around. I'd like to go back on Yasmin but all of the FDA warnings and the class action suits have me scared. I'd prefer not to have a heart attack or stroke or DVT, thanks very much. But man this birth control pill is horrendous. I seem to be retaining a tremendous amount of water. I've gained about eight pounds. (Okay, some of that can easily be attributed to my less-than-desirable eating habits while in Pennsylvania, but come on already!) But I think the worst part of it has been the headaches and the incessantly aching BOOBS. I have never experienced this sort of soreness in the twins. EVER. They hurt so much that I sometimes flinch when The Monkey...uh...goes to play with them. :P It's ridiculous. The one good thing I have to say is my skin. Oh MAN does my skin look fabulous! I still have the stray pimple here and there (in fact, I'm nursing one on my chin at the moment) but the horrendous breakouts that I was having are a non-issue since I started taking the pill. It didn't even take a full pack to see the positive effects! So I'm kind of on the fence about the whole thing. I'm supposed to go back and see my RE to have all my levels rechecked and such. I think I'll talk to the nurse about a different type or brand.
I've taken a recent interest in serious cooking. I've been experimenting with a few of Alton Brown's recipes. I'm planning on trying out his Carrot Cake recipe for The Monkey's birthday cake. (Did you know that Carrot Cake is really more of a muffin than a cake? If not, now you do, and you should totally feel compelled to now have a slice of Carrot Cake for breakfast completely and totally guilt free.) Speaking of Pumpkin... oh... wait. Well, whatever. I'm craving a Pumpkin Spice Latte like crazy! I could get my "fix" right here at home if International Delights and Coffeemate would hurry up and flood the stores with the holiday creamers! Mmm... Gingerbread and Pumpkin Pie.
I feel a little better now. Having put some words to "paper" and have them actually make some sort of sense. And have them be about the more mundane aspects of my life rather than the BIG moments. One of these days I will take the time to resize and upload all of my pictures from our trip to Pennsylvania. I have a lovely one of my mom, dad, stepmom, brothers, sisters, and me together for the first time that I really need to post. But part of me feels obligated to explain why that picture is so incredibly special. I hardly speak of my childhood -- mostly because I don't remember much -- but at the very least I feel the need to explain how my family wound up the way it is.
The next "BIG MOMENT" in my life is the Metallica concert. I've never actually been to a concert. (Well, okay, I'll fess up to having been to a New Kids on the Block concert at age 10. Hey, it was sponsored by our church congregation. This is one of the funny things about my memory. I have almost no recollection of the concert itself. The one thing I do remember is when the pastor asked me in front of the entire church congregation what my favorite band was I instictively replied "New Kids on the Block" even though, at the time, my favorite band had to be Guns -N- Roses. Heh. Once a rocker, always a rocker, I guess.) The Metallica concert has me filled the brim with excitement. I've even had a few dreams about it. One I refuse to go into detail about because...er...it might make my husband jealous. And I would hate to see him have a change of heart about his favorite band of all time. The most recent was last night. I fell asleep listening to my iPod -- Metallica, of course -- and it lead to a dream about the actual concert. But just as it started to get good (I was making my way towards the stage) I was somehow back at home on the couch. And The Monkey walked in the door and started talking to me and all I could hear was LOUD music playing. Silly me...suddenly I remembered my earbuds and removed them. But I still couldn't hear what The Monkey was saying! I immediately started crying and panicking over losing my hearing because of a rock concert. Then I woke up. To loud music playing in my ears (No Leaf Clover). I pulled my actual earbuds out of my ears and was relieved that I could still hear. Oddly enough, The Monkey walked in the door right at that time, practically mirroring my dream. [Cue theme to The Twilight Zone]
Buying concert tickets is no easy task. Or, it wasn't for me. Why didn't anyone warn me about Service Fees?? I got all excited over a pair of tickets that were going to cost us $200 for damn good seats only to find out after I went to purchase them that with Service Fees and shipping it was going to cost $300. Eh. I wound up getting some really excellent seats (which I believe I posted about previously). Second [seated] row. Definitely not too shabby. Finding a hotel wasn't much easier. I was agonizing over a cheap hotel and driving to the arena and paying for parking or getting a hotel close to a MARTA stop so we'd only have to pay $8.00 for transportation to and from the arena. Ultimately, the fact that I am a big fat wussy made the decision for me. I booked a hotel near Hartfield Airport. It was relatively inexpensive. We won't have to venture into the city of Atlanta until we absolutely have to. It had excellent customer ratings. And it's only 12ish miles from Philips Arena. (After doing some reading, I decided that I did NOT want to be on public transit at 1:00 AM basically broadcasting TOURIST to every passerby. Especially since we wouldn't be able to carry anything defensive like mace. They don't allow those sorts of things in the concert venue.) I also wasn't keen on either walking to/from the hotel to/from the nearest MARTA station OR parking my car at the free lot at a MARTA station where it would be, for many hours, unattended and quite vulnerable. It would be my luck that some asshole would try to break in it or something. I hate the thought of the $20 parking fee for the garage at CNN Center but I guess it's a small price to pay for peace of mind.
And now that all of the important major details are in order, I can worry about the silly stuff. Like what to wear and how to do my makeup. And whether I or not I want to bring my camera (on which I have NOT mastered the night setting) or borrow my mom's or sister's. And if I do decide to borrow, will I need to look at possibly purchasing an extra memory card. (I would like to take a video clip or two.) Decisions, decisions. Right now the, uh, wardrobe and makeup are taking precedence. I know for sure it's going to be a 'jeans and t-shirt' kind of thing but my problem is what jeans and what shirt. But hey, I have three weeks to think about it, right?
I think this is why I don't write as much anymore. I don't really have anything to say unless something exciting is going on. And even then I find it difficult to write because I get so caught up that I sort of get lost for words.
The holidays are coming up. I am sad to think that we may truly have to hide under a rock. Or run away. So people don't buy us gifts and we aren't expected to buy anyone else gifts. Last year we didn't have the money but we had the credit and that is what we used. But as it stands, every single solitary credit card we have is maxed out. Or nearly maxed out. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. I miss the days when I was absolutely TERRIFIED of credit cards. I miss the days where I was totally and completely 100% debt free. Now I'm barely treading water with the credit cards. And my six month grace period on my student loans ends this month. Now I have to do a mad dash to call everyone and convince them that I am unable to pay my loans at this time and request a deferrment. Honestly, that's not the part that scares me. The part that scares me is the amount of interest $60,000 can accrue in a mere year's time. It almost makes me want to feign death. Does the government forgive student loan debt after you die? I am happy to say, however, that as of February 2010, we OWN two cars. Two cars that have been very reliable over the past five years. Let's hope they STAY that way.
I'm still finding it a bit hard to believe that another year is nearly over. I keep thinking of a former coworker that always used to tell me the older you get the quicker time seems to pass. I find that it becomes truer with every passing year. The Monkey and I are watching the kids for my sister this evening. They went to visit my sister's best friend in Georgia. (The family was there for a funeral and it's basically "right around the corner" so she went to show support.) Madison is growing up so quickly. It was getting close to her bedtime. She gave me a fit about putting clothes on (she, uh...likes being naked) but once she was in her jammies (which I tried to hype up as much as possible since they were new big girl jammies) she was fine. I sat with her in the glider and started scrolling through all the pictures on my phone. I have quite a few of my sister on there and every time we came to one I said "Who's that?" and she'd grin really big and say "Dada!" I couldn't help but laugh and say "No, that's MomMom." Then we'd come across a picture of me and she'd say "Oh! MomMom!" Once again, laughter and then correction. (She also called a picture of her Aunt Desirée 'MomMom' too.) I also have quite a few pictures of her in there. I came across one I took when I first got my phone (in late January) and was kind of amazed how much she's changed. And my GOSH how much hair she's gotten! I looked at a picture of her when she was about six months old she was SO bald. And she pretty much stayed that way until she was well over a year. But now.. it seems her hair is growing like wild fire. I kept brushing it out of her eyes to no avail. She needs a "pretties" in her hair to keep it out of her face but it's quite a feat getting her to keep any kind of bow, barette, or rubberband in her hair. She is cute as a button, though. We still can't decide what color her eyes are. They are definitely NOT the crystal-clear blue that my nephews and niece all have. But they are not the distinct green that my sister has, either. I think she's going to have eyes like mine. The kind that change color. All of my identification has 'blue' as my eye color but anyone that looks me in the eye will tell me they are more green. Ever since my sister found out she was pregnant with my oldest nephew I wanted her to have a green-eyed little girl. Maybe she finally does.
I've been on birth control for nearly two months now. I can't say I'm loving it. Having PCOS means my body chemistry is bass ackwards. The majority of women gain weight on the pill -- I've always lost weight. But not so much this time around. I'd like to go back on Yasmin but all of the FDA warnings and the class action suits have me scared. I'd prefer not to have a heart attack or stroke or DVT, thanks very much. But man this birth control pill is horrendous. I seem to be retaining a tremendous amount of water. I've gained about eight pounds. (Okay, some of that can easily be attributed to my less-than-desirable eating habits while in Pennsylvania, but come on already!) But I think the worst part of it has been the headaches and the incessantly aching BOOBS. I have never experienced this sort of soreness in the twins. EVER. They hurt so much that I sometimes flinch when The Monkey...uh...goes to play with them. :P It's ridiculous. The one good thing I have to say is my skin. Oh MAN does my skin look fabulous! I still have the stray pimple here and there (in fact, I'm nursing one on my chin at the moment) but the horrendous breakouts that I was having are a non-issue since I started taking the pill. It didn't even take a full pack to see the positive effects! So I'm kind of on the fence about the whole thing. I'm supposed to go back and see my RE to have all my levels rechecked and such. I think I'll talk to the nurse about a different type or brand.
I've taken a recent interest in serious cooking. I've been experimenting with a few of Alton Brown's recipes. I'm planning on trying out his Carrot Cake recipe for The Monkey's birthday cake. (Did you know that Carrot Cake is really more of a muffin than a cake? If not, now you do, and you should totally feel compelled to now have a slice of Carrot Cake for breakfast completely and totally guilt free.) Speaking of Pumpkin... oh... wait. Well, whatever. I'm craving a Pumpkin Spice Latte like crazy! I could get my "fix" right here at home if International Delights and Coffeemate would hurry up and flood the stores with the holiday creamers! Mmm... Gingerbread and Pumpkin Pie.
I feel a little better now. Having put some words to "paper" and have them actually make some sort of sense. And have them be about the more mundane aspects of my life rather than the BIG moments. One of these days I will take the time to resize and upload all of my pictures from our trip to Pennsylvania. I have a lovely one of my mom, dad, stepmom, brothers, sisters, and me together for the first time that I really need to post. But part of me feels obligated to explain why that picture is so incredibly special. I hardly speak of my childhood -- mostly because I don't remember much -- but at the very least I feel the need to explain how my family wound up the way it is.
The next "BIG MOMENT" in my life is the Metallica concert. I've never actually been to a concert. (Well, okay, I'll fess up to having been to a New Kids on the Block concert at age 10. Hey, it was sponsored by our church congregation. This is one of the funny things about my memory. I have almost no recollection of the concert itself. The one thing I do remember is when the pastor asked me in front of the entire church congregation what my favorite band was I instictively replied "New Kids on the Block" even though, at the time, my favorite band had to be Guns -N- Roses. Heh. Once a rocker, always a rocker, I guess.) The Metallica concert has me filled the brim with excitement. I've even had a few dreams about it. One I refuse to go into detail about because...er...it might make my husband jealous. And I would hate to see him have a change of heart about his favorite band of all time. The most recent was last night. I fell asleep listening to my iPod -- Metallica, of course -- and it lead to a dream about the actual concert. But just as it started to get good (I was making my way towards the stage) I was somehow back at home on the couch. And The Monkey walked in the door and started talking to me and all I could hear was LOUD music playing. Silly me...suddenly I remembered my earbuds and removed them. But I still couldn't hear what The Monkey was saying! I immediately started crying and panicking over losing my hearing because of a rock concert. Then I woke up. To loud music playing in my ears (No Leaf Clover). I pulled my actual earbuds out of my ears and was relieved that I could still hear. Oddly enough, The Monkey walked in the door right at that time, practically mirroring my dream. [Cue theme to The Twilight Zone]
Buying concert tickets is no easy task. Or, it wasn't for me. Why didn't anyone warn me about Service Fees?? I got all excited over a pair of tickets that were going to cost us $200 for damn good seats only to find out after I went to purchase them that with Service Fees and shipping it was going to cost $300. Eh. I wound up getting some really excellent seats (which I believe I posted about previously). Second [seated] row. Definitely not too shabby. Finding a hotel wasn't much easier. I was agonizing over a cheap hotel and driving to the arena and paying for parking or getting a hotel close to a MARTA stop so we'd only have to pay $8.00 for transportation to and from the arena. Ultimately, the fact that I am a big fat wussy made the decision for me. I booked a hotel near Hartfield Airport. It was relatively inexpensive. We won't have to venture into the city of Atlanta until we absolutely have to. It had excellent customer ratings. And it's only 12ish miles from Philips Arena. (After doing some reading, I decided that I did NOT want to be on public transit at 1:00 AM basically broadcasting TOURIST to every passerby. Especially since we wouldn't be able to carry anything defensive like mace. They don't allow those sorts of things in the concert venue.) I also wasn't keen on either walking to/from the hotel to/from the nearest MARTA station OR parking my car at the free lot at a MARTA station where it would be, for many hours, unattended and quite vulnerable. It would be my luck that some asshole would try to break in it or something. I hate the thought of the $20 parking fee for the garage at CNN Center but I guess it's a small price to pay for peace of mind.
And now that all of the important major details are in order, I can worry about the silly stuff. Like what to wear and how to do my makeup. And whether I or not I want to bring my camera (on which I have NOT mastered the night setting) or borrow my mom's or sister's. And if I do decide to borrow, will I need to look at possibly purchasing an extra memory card. (I would like to take a video clip or two.) Decisions, decisions. Right now the, uh, wardrobe and makeup are taking precedence. I know for sure it's going to be a 'jeans and t-shirt' kind of thing but my problem is what jeans and what shirt. But hey, I have three weeks to think about it, right?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
it's official...
After three "gruelling" days of scouring the Internets, we finally settled on a pair of tickets for Metallica! We'll be in the SECOND ROW!! (Since we decided to go to the Atlanta show instead of the Tampa show, we got to spend a little more on tickets since we're saving money in gas/hotel.)
I am super excited! Going out of my mind, even! Only three weeks, three days to go! The Monkey's birthday is on the 26th. I'm planning on baking a carrot cake. Either that or German Chocolate cake. Because he's quite fond of both.
And, for your viewing pleasure... here is a look at what our seats for the concert will be like! We'll be in the row with the red Xs. Did I mention that I was EXCITED!?!
I am super excited! Going out of my mind, even! Only three weeks, three days to go! The Monkey's birthday is on the 26th. I'm planning on baking a carrot cake. Either that or German Chocolate cake. Because he's quite fond of both.
And, for your viewing pleasure... here is a look at what our seats for the concert will be like! We'll be in the row with the red Xs. Did I mention that I was EXCITED!?!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
tear the map and shoot the sign*
My trip to Pennsylvania sort of did a number on our finances. I helped pay for food and gas. And I bought lottery tickets in every place that sold them (we didn't win, obviously). To be honest, I didn't do much erroneous shopping. I bought a couple of $5 tops at Old Navy along with a couple of tank tops. That went on my Old Navy card and cost me a whopping $25. (I wound up with four shirts and three tanks.) At any rate, once we got back home I went into a sort of funk. I didn't feel like doing much of anything which included grocery shopping and cooking. We ate out a lot for the first couple of weeks after I returned. Money down the drain. I hate eating out!
I priced Metallica tickets after I got back and really wasn't sure if I should purchase them. The Monkey has been pretty wishy washy about it, too. So I left Well Enough alone and hadn't thought about it at all for a couple of weeks.
Then, the other night, I had a crazy vivid dream starring...ehem...James Hetfield -- lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist for Metallica. It was an interesting dream. I'm not sure how my brain managed to concoct such vividry but the whole dream was full color, surround sound... the works. The best kind of dream.
When I woke up I immediately checked our bank account. We're not doing too shabby and The Monkey should get around a $200 bonus at the end of the month. I just can't see passing up this opportunity. I really can't. Metallica has been around for a long, long time. They've been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. They are well within my top five favorite bands and The Monkey's favorite band of all time.
So, after a look at our account, I began scouring the Internet for the cheapest tickets humanly possible. The cheapest I could find were around $80 a piece. But there were a couple of problems with these tickets. When I first found out that they'd be [semi] local I told myself that I didn't care how crappy the seats were, I just wanted to go to a concert and see them live! The Monkey agreed. But after much careful research, I learned that St. Pete Times Forum (Tampa, FL) is, primarily, a sports arena. They host mostly hockey games from what I gather. For whatever reason (perhaps Metallica's sheer popularity) they are hosting the concert as an "in the round" setup. Meaning the stage will be positioned in the center of the arena floor. The major problem with that is not knowing which side of the stadium the band will be facing. It would really suck to be looking at the back of their heads for the entire show. Further research brought me to a nifty site called SeatData. The site gives you an estimated view from any given section of the venue. The tickets I priced were for Section 311 (read: nosebleeds). As you can see from the photo, the view is less than desirable. Not to mention we're still unsure whether or not we'll be on the "right side" of the venue.
GRR.
The Monkey has been fairly adament about going to see them on Saturday in Tampa, FL vs. Sunday in Atlanta, GA. Despite the fact that we'd only have to stay overnight ONE night vs. TWO nights. Despite the fact that Tampa is almost twice as far from us as Atlanta. All because he doesn't want to ask for a day off, especially a Monday.
Well I say to HELL with that. We can spend less money, total, if we go see them in Atlanta and still get MUCH better seats! So now I'm talking to A (The Monkey's boss) about giving him October 5th off so we can go. He's giving plenty of notice so I don't see why it would be a problem. And he has the leave time also.
It's becoming harder and harder to resist the urge to purchase tickets. I just cannot see passing up, what may very well be, the opportunity of a lifetime. Who knows if they'll release another album. And, if they do, who knows if they'll go on tour again? I'm especially excited after seeing what they've been playing at previous shows on this tour. It doesn't seem to be favored much, but I'm crossing my fingers that they'll play Fade to Black.
So provided The Monkey is able to get October 5th off, I think we'll definitely be going. Yes. And I am muchly excited!
*Metallica - Carpe Diem Baby
I priced Metallica tickets after I got back and really wasn't sure if I should purchase them. The Monkey has been pretty wishy washy about it, too. So I left Well Enough alone and hadn't thought about it at all for a couple of weeks.
Then, the other night, I had a crazy vivid dream starring...ehem...James Hetfield -- lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist for Metallica. It was an interesting dream. I'm not sure how my brain managed to concoct such vividry but the whole dream was full color, surround sound... the works. The best kind of dream.
When I woke up I immediately checked our bank account. We're not doing too shabby and The Monkey should get around a $200 bonus at the end of the month. I just can't see passing up this opportunity. I really can't. Metallica has been around for a long, long time. They've been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. They are well within my top five favorite bands and The Monkey's favorite band of all time.
So, after a look at our account, I began scouring the Internet for the cheapest tickets humanly possible. The cheapest I could find were around $80 a piece. But there were a couple of problems with these tickets. When I first found out that they'd be [semi] local I told myself that I didn't care how crappy the seats were, I just wanted to go to a concert and see them live! The Monkey agreed. But after much careful research, I learned that St. Pete Times Forum (Tampa, FL) is, primarily, a sports arena. They host mostly hockey games from what I gather. For whatever reason (perhaps Metallica's sheer popularity) they are hosting the concert as an "in the round" setup. Meaning the stage will be positioned in the center of the arena floor. The major problem with that is not knowing which side of the stadium the band will be facing. It would really suck to be looking at the back of their heads for the entire show. Further research brought me to a nifty site called SeatData. The site gives you an estimated view from any given section of the venue. The tickets I priced were for Section 311 (read: nosebleeds). As you can see from the photo, the view is less than desirable. Not to mention we're still unsure whether or not we'll be on the "right side" of the venue.
GRR.
The Monkey has been fairly adament about going to see them on Saturday in Tampa, FL vs. Sunday in Atlanta, GA. Despite the fact that we'd only have to stay overnight ONE night vs. TWO nights. Despite the fact that Tampa is almost twice as far from us as Atlanta. All because he doesn't want to ask for a day off, especially a Monday.
Well I say to HELL with that. We can spend less money, total, if we go see them in Atlanta and still get MUCH better seats! So now I'm talking to A (The Monkey's boss) about giving him October 5th off so we can go. He's giving plenty of notice so I don't see why it would be a problem. And he has the leave time also.
It's becoming harder and harder to resist the urge to purchase tickets. I just cannot see passing up, what may very well be, the opportunity of a lifetime. Who knows if they'll release another album. And, if they do, who knows if they'll go on tour again? I'm especially excited after seeing what they've been playing at previous shows on this tour. It doesn't seem to be favored much, but I'm crossing my fingers that they'll play Fade to Black.
So provided The Monkey is able to get October 5th off, I think we'll definitely be going. Yes. And I am muchly excited!
*Metallica - Carpe Diem Baby
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
[insert long exasperated sigh]
My mood still isn't right. I just can't put my finger on it. I'm not overwhelmingly sad. I feel... flat. I don't feel like doing anything. Whatever.
I went to see my RE yesterday. I called them after my visit to the ER and they said I should be seen. Turns out their conclusion was identical to the ER's conclusion: pelvic inflammatory disease.
Color me stupid. PID is something people (myself included) almost always associate with STDs. And how on planet earth could I have gotten an STD?? I had a dream the night after the ER that The Monkey had cheated on me and given me an STD. And then he blatently told me he was tired of my "bullshit" and we were done. I woke myself up crying. And gave him the cold shoulder for part of the day. Haha.
But the nurse said with my "history" of problems that my endometrium probably grew out of control and I didn't have a proper period to get rid of all the tissue and fluid. And, basically, it got "backed up" and an infection ensued and then lots of horrible pain that I do not wish to experience ever again in my entire life. (I am not ashamed of the fact that if we ever do get pregnant that I will be planning on having an epidural. I really don't give a crap who thinks it's a "bad decision" because it's not their body and it won't be their kid so they can kiss my ass.)
Anyhow. The nurse said that should the pain continue I'd need to make an appointment with my RE directly so she could examine me herself and determine whether or not I'll need another lap in the near future. Or perhaps need to switch birth control pills. Or suppress my ovaries all together for the moment. (Not too keen on that last option.)
Infection is nothing to mess around with when it comes to the girly bits. Especially when my girly bits are already severely malfunctioning. So, despite the $100 copay that I have no means to pay (on top of The Monkey's $100 ER copay) I am glad I went to the ER.
For now, the pain has subsided. I started my new pack of birth control and, so far, have not had any of the twinges and cramps that I had with my last pack. So maybe that's a good sign.
I can't believe it's September already. I'm getting bummed because I don't think we're going to be able to afford Metallica tickets + gas to get to Tampa + a hotel for two nights. My parents are planning a Labor Day barbecue this Sunday. At least I have something to look forward to. I want to make some potato and macaroni salad. Sis is making baked beans. Mom and Dad are going to smoke a couple of Boston Butts and some ribs. And my dad's brother is going to bring fresh corn on the cob for the grill. Speaking of my dad's brother... he's been dating this woman for a while. She has a little boy... it's hard to judge how old he is because he's very small for his age but I think he's four going on five. The kid isn't potty trained yet. They really don't take good care of him. The live in a dilapidated trailer that has plywood floors and garbage everywhere. I don't think she works. My dad's brother is the "maintenance man" for this trailer park they live in (which is a deplorable area) and I'm not sure what he gets for it other than free rent for this barely liveable trailer. My dad tells me yesterday that she is pregnant. Not sure how far along but apparently she was already pregnant at our 4th of July barbecue. Not that you'd ever know because she was chain smoking her little cigars and drinking. So as if that's not bad enough, my mom tells me that the baby tested positive for trisomy 21. I can't believe this. They don't take care of the little boy she already has and now they are going to bring a special needs baby into this world into those living conditions?!?
I will never EVER as long as I live understand why people like them can procreate so easily and so many deserving couples can't conceive. It's not right.
So I'm going to try to put blinders on for the barbecue on Sunday. I'm really not keen on seeing a pregnant woman chain smoking cigarettes and gulping down booze. If you're selfish enough to get pregnant when you don't want to, at least have the decency to take care of yourself for fscks sake.
Whatever.
Now I need to go try and get motivated to shower and get dressed. I have to go see my pdoc to get a refill on my Lamictal. I think it's high time that I looked for another pdoc and a real therapist.
I went to see my RE yesterday. I called them after my visit to the ER and they said I should be seen. Turns out their conclusion was identical to the ER's conclusion: pelvic inflammatory disease.
Color me stupid. PID is something people (myself included) almost always associate with STDs. And how on planet earth could I have gotten an STD?? I had a dream the night after the ER that The Monkey had cheated on me and given me an STD. And then he blatently told me he was tired of my "bullshit" and we were done. I woke myself up crying. And gave him the cold shoulder for part of the day. Haha.
But the nurse said with my "history" of problems that my endometrium probably grew out of control and I didn't have a proper period to get rid of all the tissue and fluid. And, basically, it got "backed up" and an infection ensued and then lots of horrible pain that I do not wish to experience ever again in my entire life. (I am not ashamed of the fact that if we ever do get pregnant that I will be planning on having an epidural. I really don't give a crap who thinks it's a "bad decision" because it's not their body and it won't be their kid so they can kiss my ass.)
Anyhow. The nurse said that should the pain continue I'd need to make an appointment with my RE directly so she could examine me herself and determine whether or not I'll need another lap in the near future. Or perhaps need to switch birth control pills. Or suppress my ovaries all together for the moment. (Not too keen on that last option.)
Infection is nothing to mess around with when it comes to the girly bits. Especially when my girly bits are already severely malfunctioning. So, despite the $100 copay that I have no means to pay (on top of The Monkey's $100 ER copay) I am glad I went to the ER.
For now, the pain has subsided. I started my new pack of birth control and, so far, have not had any of the twinges and cramps that I had with my last pack. So maybe that's a good sign.
I can't believe it's September already. I'm getting bummed because I don't think we're going to be able to afford Metallica tickets + gas to get to Tampa + a hotel for two nights. My parents are planning a Labor Day barbecue this Sunday. At least I have something to look forward to. I want to make some potato and macaroni salad. Sis is making baked beans. Mom and Dad are going to smoke a couple of Boston Butts and some ribs. And my dad's brother is going to bring fresh corn on the cob for the grill. Speaking of my dad's brother... he's been dating this woman for a while. She has a little boy... it's hard to judge how old he is because he's very small for his age but I think he's four going on five. The kid isn't potty trained yet. They really don't take good care of him. The live in a dilapidated trailer that has plywood floors and garbage everywhere. I don't think she works. My dad's brother is the "maintenance man" for this trailer park they live in (which is a deplorable area) and I'm not sure what he gets for it other than free rent for this barely liveable trailer. My dad tells me yesterday that she is pregnant. Not sure how far along but apparently she was already pregnant at our 4th of July barbecue. Not that you'd ever know because she was chain smoking her little cigars and drinking. So as if that's not bad enough, my mom tells me that the baby tested positive for trisomy 21. I can't believe this. They don't take care of the little boy she already has and now they are going to bring a special needs baby into this world into those living conditions?!?
I will never EVER as long as I live understand why people like them can procreate so easily and so many deserving couples can't conceive. It's not right.
So I'm going to try to put blinders on for the barbecue on Sunday. I'm really not keen on seeing a pregnant woman chain smoking cigarettes and gulping down booze. If you're selfish enough to get pregnant when you don't want to, at least have the decency to take care of yourself for fscks sake.
Whatever.
Now I need to go try and get motivated to shower and get dressed. I have to go see my pdoc to get a refill on my Lamictal. I think it's high time that I looked for another pdoc and a real therapist.
Friday, August 28, 2009
out of sorts
Ever since we got home from Pennsylvania I've felt off. The kind of depressed that doesn't have me hiding under my covers and/or crying uncontrollably but kind of going through the motions of what every day life entails. Oh, and I've been spending too much money; perhaps as an attempt to console myself.
It's really strange. The Lamictal has been really phenomenal. I've been pretty functional for months now. I get out of bed and I get a shower and I do my makeup. I run errands that need running. I do chores that need doing.
But ever since our trip, things have just kind of went to hell. I don't really see the point in doing anything so I sit around and do nothing.
It certainly didn't help matters when I sat around all weekend waiting for AF to show. I took my last active pill on Friday. On Monday, I started spotting. No big deal. By Monday night it was a full on period, but nothing too horrific. Thank the heavens for birth control. But then on Tuesday, all hell broke loose. I cannot adequately describe the pain I have been in since Tuesday morning. It started off pretty mild; a little worse-than-normal cramping. But by Tuesday night I was in agony. It felt like something needed to come OUT. The Monkey kept throwing me worried looks and asking if I needed to go to the ER. But our ER doctors here are so incompetent that I refused. I took a Motrin and a Lortab and after another hour of excruciating pain things seemed to die down. I was able to sleep for a couple of hours before needing another Lortab.
The pain woke me up early on Wednesday morning. I sat on the toilet clutching my stomach completely unsure of what to do. My sister took one look and me and said point blank that I was acting like I was in labor. She was afraid that I'd gotten pregnant somehow and was miscarrying. I knew it wasn't possible. Still, the pain was so intense that I had her drag me to the ER crying and trembling.
We spent the entire day there. They gave me several doses of Dilaudid which really didn't do much of anything for the pain. (It wasn't a constant pain, see. It was coming in "waves" which made my sister more concerned that it was like mock labor pains...hmm.) They did an ultrasound and I saw lots of "gunk" on the screen. I was sure that I was seeing clots and that my uterus was contracting trying desperately to pass the tissue. At one point, while in the shower, in a desperate moment of my own, I felt my cervix and found that I could easily fit my fingertip into my cervix. Which I have never been able to do. Ever. The ER doc sent me home with scrips for antibiotics since my white count was up. I'm going to see my RE on Monday for bloodwork and ultrasound. The ER gave me paperword about PID and now I'm terrified that I may have it. Though I don't see how.
Most likely this is the result of polyp regrowth. Possibly endo as well. I guess we'll see on Monday. I will be happy to start my new pack of birth control tomorrow, that is for sure.
Now I must lie down because Lortab makes me feel ill. But it's either be almost completely immobile and pain free or completely immobile and writhing in agony. :-/
It's really strange. The Lamictal has been really phenomenal. I've been pretty functional for months now. I get out of bed and I get a shower and I do my makeup. I run errands that need running. I do chores that need doing.
But ever since our trip, things have just kind of went to hell. I don't really see the point in doing anything so I sit around and do nothing.
It certainly didn't help matters when I sat around all weekend waiting for AF to show. I took my last active pill on Friday. On Monday, I started spotting. No big deal. By Monday night it was a full on period, but nothing too horrific. Thank the heavens for birth control. But then on Tuesday, all hell broke loose. I cannot adequately describe the pain I have been in since Tuesday morning. It started off pretty mild; a little worse-than-normal cramping. But by Tuesday night I was in agony. It felt like something needed to come OUT. The Monkey kept throwing me worried looks and asking if I needed to go to the ER. But our ER doctors here are so incompetent that I refused. I took a Motrin and a Lortab and after another hour of excruciating pain things seemed to die down. I was able to sleep for a couple of hours before needing another Lortab.
The pain woke me up early on Wednesday morning. I sat on the toilet clutching my stomach completely unsure of what to do. My sister took one look and me and said point blank that I was acting like I was in labor. She was afraid that I'd gotten pregnant somehow and was miscarrying. I knew it wasn't possible. Still, the pain was so intense that I had her drag me to the ER crying and trembling.
We spent the entire day there. They gave me several doses of Dilaudid which really didn't do much of anything for the pain. (It wasn't a constant pain, see. It was coming in "waves" which made my sister more concerned that it was like mock labor pains...hmm.) They did an ultrasound and I saw lots of "gunk" on the screen. I was sure that I was seeing clots and that my uterus was contracting trying desperately to pass the tissue. At one point, while in the shower, in a desperate moment of my own, I felt my cervix and found that I could easily fit my fingertip into my cervix. Which I have never been able to do. Ever. The ER doc sent me home with scrips for antibiotics since my white count was up. I'm going to see my RE on Monday for bloodwork and ultrasound. The ER gave me paperword about PID and now I'm terrified that I may have it. Though I don't see how.
Most likely this is the result of polyp regrowth. Possibly endo as well. I guess we'll see on Monday. I will be happy to start my new pack of birth control tomorrow, that is for sure.
Now I must lie down because Lortab makes me feel ill. But it's either be almost completely immobile and pain free or completely immobile and writhing in agony. :-/
Friday, August 7, 2009
Because 10 Years is a LONG time...
But 25 is even longer...
Here are a few pictures of our vacation/visit so far. We went to my dad's house on Wednesday and surprised him. He had NO clue we were coming. He thought my oldest sister (who lives here in PA) was visiting us down in Alabama. It was a fantastic night that words can't even begin to describe. First it was just my sisters and me with the kids. Then my brothers all showed up. All seven of us kids were together for the first time EVER. The four of us (my sisters, brother, and I) were together for the first time in 25 years. We're going to have professional portraits done on Sunday. Tomorrow is Dad's 60th birthday party -- also a surprise.
It's hard to see the look on Dad's face in this picture but trust me, it was one of complete and utter disbelief! :D
Sitting next to Daddy. I think he was still in shock. He was grinning from ear to ear the whole time.
All four of us with Mommy for the first time in 25 years.
Here are a few pictures of our vacation/visit so far. We went to my dad's house on Wednesday and surprised him. He had NO clue we were coming. He thought my oldest sister (who lives here in PA) was visiting us down in Alabama. It was a fantastic night that words can't even begin to describe. First it was just my sisters and me with the kids. Then my brothers all showed up. All seven of us kids were together for the first time EVER. The four of us (my sisters, brother, and I) were together for the first time in 25 years. We're going to have professional portraits done on Sunday. Tomorrow is Dad's 60th birthday party -- also a surprise.
It's hard to see the look on Dad's face in this picture but trust me, it was one of complete and utter disbelief! :D
Sitting next to Daddy. I think he was still in shock. He was grinning from ear to ear the whole time.
All four of us with Mommy for the first time in 25 years.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
17 hours is too much
What a long drive. I can't even describe it. I've done 12 hours but my what a difference five hours makes.
More later. I need to shower. But we are here safe and sound. I can't wait to surprise our dad for his 60th! He still has NO idea that we're here. :D
More later. I need to shower. But we are here safe and sound. I can't wait to surprise our dad for his 60th! He still has NO idea that we're here. :D
Friday, July 31, 2009
the good, the bad, and the beautified
It has been a HECTIC week. A week full of uncertainty and potential disaster.
It started last Friday evening when The Monkey came home from work doubled over. Kidney stone. It required a visit to the ER, copious IV painkillers, a CT scan, and labs. The stone was only 1 - 2mm in diameter so they sent him home all doped up and told him to come back if the excruciating pain returned and to follow up with a urologist. If/when he passed the stone, he did so without knowing it because he stopped straining his urine on Monday when he went back to work. But he hasn't had any further pain so we're confident that everything is okay. He still needs to see a urologist, though. He was on a medication called Urocit a couple of years ago to help prevent stone formation. We've been together for six years. This is the fourth stone he's had in that time. Poor guy!
So Friday night was boring. He was completely zonked and wound up falling asleep during the movie we tried to watch.
Saturday we got up early to get the house nice and tidy for my sister's return. I wanted to vacuum and straighten up and make sure the bathroom and everything was nice and clean. The Monkey was in a little bit of pain so he decided to go to Walgreens and fill his prescriptions (one for Flomax and one for Lortab 10). When he got back he told me that he couldn't get my car to start. WTF?! So I called my dad and he came over and gave my silver bullet a once over. He couldn't find the problem. He said it was most likely the camshaft sensor or the main computer. (The engine was turning over but it wouldn't start.) I was HIGHLY frazzled. Thankful, of course, that we have two vehicles and we'd still have transportation, but UPSET nonetheless. On Sunday we had dinner with my parents and my dad told me to go to AutoZone on Monday and get them to print out a diagram and instructions on how to remove/replace the camshaft sensor. Since The Monkey has an engine identical to mine, we could swap his and see if that was, indeed, the issue.
Thankfully it didn't even go that far. Upon much Googling, I discovered a message board for Alero owners. Someone had posted the same exact problem that I was having. Four of the five replies told the original poster to check their passlock. The passlock is an anti-theft device. When you put your key in the ignition, magnets align in a certain way and, provided it is the correct key and forms the correct alignment, the ignition switch sends a message to the onboard computer which then sends a message to your engine that says "fire fuel injectors". If someone tries to steal the car the passlock mechanism tells the computer to NOT tell the engine to fire the fuel injectors. No fuel, no start. And once the mechanism is tripped, the car won't start no matter how many times you try. Thankfully one of the people on the message boards had a fix. They said to leave the key in the ignition with the ignition switch turned to "On" and to leave it alone for at least 10 minutes. So I did just that, keeping my fingers crossed the whole time. When I finally went back out to my car the "SECURITY" light that had been flashing was out. I pulled the key out and then put it back in and cranked my car. It started right up!! I haven't had a problem with it starting since. Hooray!
But the car drama didn't end there. On Wednesday evening The Monkey and I were driving to Walmart and my check engine light popped on. I cursed a few times then said we were going over to my dad's promptly to find out what code was making the light come on. P0455, as it turns out which means there is an Evaporation Emissions Control System leak. In parantheses it said "Gross Leak" and I was prepared for the worst. Thankfully, once again, the issue didn't seem to be anything serious at all. My owner's manual said to delete the error code and tighten the gas cap. If the light came back on, there was a problem (which may be no more serious than needing a new gas cap). If it didn't come back on (which it hasn't) then it was most likely due to the gas cap being loose. Another bullet dodged.
But, alas, the car drama still doesn't end there! Yesterday I drove out to Birmingham for my RE appointment (more on that in a moment). It was a hellatious drive and one that I haven't made in a long time. It probably wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for all the road work. I hit some form or another on every major highway. I hit it twice on I-65 -- once in Montgomery and then again on the outskirts of Birmingham. Anyway, the ride was mostly uneventful, just a little longer than I'm used to. The way home was rough. I was tired and I hit a couple of storms so there were a couple of times where I had to do about 35 into 70. I left Birmingham around 3:00 and I didn't get back into town until almost 7:00. (Normally this drive takes me just under three hours.) I immediately went to our local Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. When I turned into the parking lot my BRAKE warning light came on. And then, almost as quickly went back out. I pulled into a parking spot and pulled my hand brake. The light came on (as expected) and then went out when I released the brake. I thought it was a fluke until I turned into Arby's and the same thing happened. And then again when I turned onto a street in our neighborhood. And then again when I pulled into the driveway. The light didn't stay on, though. It was coming on and staying lit for 20 - 30 seconds and then going out. I immediately thought about the $650 brake job I had done a month ago. My front brakes are all brand new and my rear drums were cleaned and adjusted. The last thing I should be having problems with are my freaking brakes! Especially since I've only driven about 800 miles since they were changed and 400 of that was yesterday! Anyway, I called my dad this morning and asked him if my brake fluid could be low. He said it would absolutely cause the problem but just filling it with brake fluid wouldn't solve the underlying problem. Brake systems are self contained. You should rarely, if ever, have to add brake fluid to the resevoir. If you do, there is a leak somewhere. Just. Freaking. Fantastic. So, sure enough, when he opened the fluid resevoir it wasn't just low it was EMPTY. Like seriously BONE DRY. So my dad, after chastising me for taking my car to "amateur mechanics" instead of him, took a look at my calipers and brake lines. Sure enough, the lines were leaking. I was furious to say the least. I told my dad I was taking it back to Expert Tire so they could fix the issue. It was, after all, an issue THEY caused. I've never had this problem before they did the brake job. My dad was afraid that they would call me a silly girl and tell me that the moisture I saw was simply due to the roads being wet from all the rain (nevermind the fact that the lines were perfectly dry except where the connections were) so he called them up before sending me over. They had me in and out in a half hour. Something about a bad O-ring, which they replaced. Nevertheless, I plan to keep an eye on my brake fluid levels. If it starts to go down, I'll be taking it back again. Only THIS time, I'll be bringing my dad, a veteran Army mechanic, along with me. :P
I have to say that my day started off pretty well, though. At my appointment yesterday they drew labs and then I had my annual exam. This morning they called back with the results which are as follows:
I started my Synthroid today. The effects on my appetite were incredible. I had to force myself to eat lunch. I have to take it on an empty stomach and am not supposed to eat for at least a half hour afterwards. I wound up being so caught up in getting ready for my busy day that it was nearly 11:00 before I ate anything. I started to feel woozy and scarfed down a sandwich. But every time I thought about eating a bagel or something it just didn't sound appealing. Which is really different since that's what I've been having for breakfast for a couple of weeks now. A cinnamon bagel with cinnamon swirl cream cheese. Or a blueberry bagel with strawberry and cheesecake flavored cream cheese. [drool] I was pretty ravenous at dinner time so I need to make a point about eating smaller meals throughout the day. AF made a rather timely appearance and I'll be starting my birth control pills (Desogen) tonight as well. I'm really hoping this combo of meds will help make losing weight that much easier. My RE and the nurses were all astounded by my weight loss. I've lost 30 pounds since the beginning of the year. I had to make sure and emphasize that I'd gained about 40 pounds in 2008. :P Still, it was nice to get the pats on the back for my efforts and encouragement to keep going. I also found out that my sister's scale is DEAD ON accurate. I weighed myself before I left (being sure to have my clothes on) and I weighed the same amount at the doctor's office.
Today I had a semi-busy day. I had to go to the DMV to register our cars. Today was the last day to do it without the $15 per vehicle penalty. The line was pretty long but the wait wasn't bad at all. Unfortunately, I wish I'd driven out to Dale county to reregister them instead of doing it in Coffee because we wound up having to pay an extra $25 for city tax or something. I could've saved money even though I would've had to drive 28 miles. [shrug] It's just as well, though. Then I took my car to Expert Tire. And then I headed to my stylist to have my hair done. Which, I must say, turned out positively fabulous as usual!
A view from the front.
A view from the back to show the contrasting colors of the top layers vs. the bottom layers.
It's a bit different from the colors I did in March. The bottom layers are the same dark, almost black brown. But the top is much more red than it was in March. Which means it won't fade out quite as nicely but that's okay. Now I'm all set up for portraits when we go up north!
We are leaving here at midnight on the 3rd (well, technically, the 4th). The drive is going to take an estimated 17 hours. I'm wishing I could get a hold of a really GOOD radar detector to cut down our travel time, though. I need to procure a car charger for my iPod so I have some form of entertainment. Reading is out of the question as I get motion sickness quite easily. I wish we could take my sister's Suburban because it's fully loaded, DVD player and TV included. But we won't all fit so we're taking my mom's Trailblazer instead. Only three more days to go! I'm very excited to see everyone! Even if I didn't quite meet my weight loss goal.
And now to go lie down and relax and hopefully pass out after my full day.
It started last Friday evening when The Monkey came home from work doubled over. Kidney stone. It required a visit to the ER, copious IV painkillers, a CT scan, and labs. The stone was only 1 - 2mm in diameter so they sent him home all doped up and told him to come back if the excruciating pain returned and to follow up with a urologist. If/when he passed the stone, he did so without knowing it because he stopped straining his urine on Monday when he went back to work. But he hasn't had any further pain so we're confident that everything is okay. He still needs to see a urologist, though. He was on a medication called Urocit a couple of years ago to help prevent stone formation. We've been together for six years. This is the fourth stone he's had in that time. Poor guy!
So Friday night was boring. He was completely zonked and wound up falling asleep during the movie we tried to watch.
Saturday we got up early to get the house nice and tidy for my sister's return. I wanted to vacuum and straighten up and make sure the bathroom and everything was nice and clean. The Monkey was in a little bit of pain so he decided to go to Walgreens and fill his prescriptions (one for Flomax and one for Lortab 10). When he got back he told me that he couldn't get my car to start. WTF?! So I called my dad and he came over and gave my silver bullet a once over. He couldn't find the problem. He said it was most likely the camshaft sensor or the main computer. (The engine was turning over but it wouldn't start.) I was HIGHLY frazzled. Thankful, of course, that we have two vehicles and we'd still have transportation, but UPSET nonetheless. On Sunday we had dinner with my parents and my dad told me to go to AutoZone on Monday and get them to print out a diagram and instructions on how to remove/replace the camshaft sensor. Since The Monkey has an engine identical to mine, we could swap his and see if that was, indeed, the issue.
Thankfully it didn't even go that far. Upon much Googling, I discovered a message board for Alero owners. Someone had posted the same exact problem that I was having. Four of the five replies told the original poster to check their passlock. The passlock is an anti-theft device. When you put your key in the ignition, magnets align in a certain way and, provided it is the correct key and forms the correct alignment, the ignition switch sends a message to the onboard computer which then sends a message to your engine that says "fire fuel injectors". If someone tries to steal the car the passlock mechanism tells the computer to NOT tell the engine to fire the fuel injectors. No fuel, no start. And once the mechanism is tripped, the car won't start no matter how many times you try. Thankfully one of the people on the message boards had a fix. They said to leave the key in the ignition with the ignition switch turned to "On" and to leave it alone for at least 10 minutes. So I did just that, keeping my fingers crossed the whole time. When I finally went back out to my car the "SECURITY" light that had been flashing was out. I pulled the key out and then put it back in and cranked my car. It started right up!! I haven't had a problem with it starting since. Hooray!
But the car drama didn't end there. On Wednesday evening The Monkey and I were driving to Walmart and my check engine light popped on. I cursed a few times then said we were going over to my dad's promptly to find out what code was making the light come on. P0455, as it turns out which means there is an Evaporation Emissions Control System leak. In parantheses it said "Gross Leak" and I was prepared for the worst. Thankfully, once again, the issue didn't seem to be anything serious at all. My owner's manual said to delete the error code and tighten the gas cap. If the light came back on, there was a problem (which may be no more serious than needing a new gas cap). If it didn't come back on (which it hasn't) then it was most likely due to the gas cap being loose. Another bullet dodged.
But, alas, the car drama still doesn't end there! Yesterday I drove out to Birmingham for my RE appointment (more on that in a moment). It was a hellatious drive and one that I haven't made in a long time. It probably wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for all the road work. I hit some form or another on every major highway. I hit it twice on I-65 -- once in Montgomery and then again on the outskirts of Birmingham. Anyway, the ride was mostly uneventful, just a little longer than I'm used to. The way home was rough. I was tired and I hit a couple of storms so there were a couple of times where I had to do about 35 into 70. I left Birmingham around 3:00 and I didn't get back into town until almost 7:00. (Normally this drive takes me just under three hours.) I immediately went to our local Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. When I turned into the parking lot my BRAKE warning light came on. And then, almost as quickly went back out. I pulled into a parking spot and pulled my hand brake. The light came on (as expected) and then went out when I released the brake. I thought it was a fluke until I turned into Arby's and the same thing happened. And then again when I turned onto a street in our neighborhood. And then again when I pulled into the driveway. The light didn't stay on, though. It was coming on and staying lit for 20 - 30 seconds and then going out. I immediately thought about the $650 brake job I had done a month ago. My front brakes are all brand new and my rear drums were cleaned and adjusted. The last thing I should be having problems with are my freaking brakes! Especially since I've only driven about 800 miles since they were changed and 400 of that was yesterday! Anyway, I called my dad this morning and asked him if my brake fluid could be low. He said it would absolutely cause the problem but just filling it with brake fluid wouldn't solve the underlying problem. Brake systems are self contained. You should rarely, if ever, have to add brake fluid to the resevoir. If you do, there is a leak somewhere. Just. Freaking. Fantastic. So, sure enough, when he opened the fluid resevoir it wasn't just low it was EMPTY. Like seriously BONE DRY. So my dad, after chastising me for taking my car to "amateur mechanics" instead of him, took a look at my calipers and brake lines. Sure enough, the lines were leaking. I was furious to say the least. I told my dad I was taking it back to Expert Tire so they could fix the issue. It was, after all, an issue THEY caused. I've never had this problem before they did the brake job. My dad was afraid that they would call me a silly girl and tell me that the moisture I saw was simply due to the roads being wet from all the rain (nevermind the fact that the lines were perfectly dry except where the connections were) so he called them up before sending me over. They had me in and out in a half hour. Something about a bad O-ring, which they replaced. Nevertheless, I plan to keep an eye on my brake fluid levels. If it starts to go down, I'll be taking it back again. Only THIS time, I'll be bringing my dad, a veteran Army mechanic, along with me. :P
I have to say that my day started off pretty well, though. At my appointment yesterday they drew labs and then I had my annual exam. This morning they called back with the results which are as follows:
- TSH was above three. They like to see it below three and told me to keep taking the 50mcg of Synthroid as directed.
- Cholesterol was normal! A big shocker since PCOSers are predisposed to high cholesterol and I'm not exactly the ideal build.
- CBC showed that my iron count was low. It should be 11.5 or higher and mine was 10.3. They stared me on iron supplements. I am not looking forward to the constipation.
- My pap cultures all came back normal. Hooray again!
- Last, but not least, my fasting insulin was an astounding 5.3!! My jaw hit the floor when she said that. I was totally prepared for it to be much higher than that! For reference sake, when I was first diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance in 2006 my level was above 24. After my first month on metformin it dropped to 12. In two subsequent labs it was 10 and then later on 14. So it has NEVER been this low! She said it was an excellent level. I am not sure how skewed this result might be. Your supposed to be fasting for 8 - 12 hours before they draw blood. I didn't have anything to eat after 8:00 PM on the 29th and they didn't draw the blood for the labs until 1:00 PM on the 30th. Even still, I imagine it couldn't have been too much higher. I'm to continue taking 1500mg of metformin daily. I specifically asked for the immediate release instead of the extended release which they had no problem with.
I started my Synthroid today. The effects on my appetite were incredible. I had to force myself to eat lunch. I have to take it on an empty stomach and am not supposed to eat for at least a half hour afterwards. I wound up being so caught up in getting ready for my busy day that it was nearly 11:00 before I ate anything. I started to feel woozy and scarfed down a sandwich. But every time I thought about eating a bagel or something it just didn't sound appealing. Which is really different since that's what I've been having for breakfast for a couple of weeks now. A cinnamon bagel with cinnamon swirl cream cheese. Or a blueberry bagel with strawberry and cheesecake flavored cream cheese. [drool] I was pretty ravenous at dinner time so I need to make a point about eating smaller meals throughout the day. AF made a rather timely appearance and I'll be starting my birth control pills (Desogen) tonight as well. I'm really hoping this combo of meds will help make losing weight that much easier. My RE and the nurses were all astounded by my weight loss. I've lost 30 pounds since the beginning of the year. I had to make sure and emphasize that I'd gained about 40 pounds in 2008. :P Still, it was nice to get the pats on the back for my efforts and encouragement to keep going. I also found out that my sister's scale is DEAD ON accurate. I weighed myself before I left (being sure to have my clothes on) and I weighed the same amount at the doctor's office.
Today I had a semi-busy day. I had to go to the DMV to register our cars. Today was the last day to do it without the $15 per vehicle penalty. The line was pretty long but the wait wasn't bad at all. Unfortunately, I wish I'd driven out to Dale county to reregister them instead of doing it in Coffee because we wound up having to pay an extra $25 for city tax or something. I could've saved money even though I would've had to drive 28 miles. [shrug] It's just as well, though. Then I took my car to Expert Tire. And then I headed to my stylist to have my hair done. Which, I must say, turned out positively fabulous as usual!
A view from the front.
A view from the back to show the contrasting colors of the top layers vs. the bottom layers.
It's a bit different from the colors I did in March. The bottom layers are the same dark, almost black brown. But the top is much more red than it was in March. Which means it won't fade out quite as nicely but that's okay. Now I'm all set up for portraits when we go up north!
We are leaving here at midnight on the 3rd (well, technically, the 4th). The drive is going to take an estimated 17 hours. I'm wishing I could get a hold of a really GOOD radar detector to cut down our travel time, though. I need to procure a car charger for my iPod so I have some form of entertainment. Reading is out of the question as I get motion sickness quite easily. I wish we could take my sister's Suburban because it's fully loaded, DVD player and TV included. But we won't all fit so we're taking my mom's Trailblazer instead. Only three more days to go! I'm very excited to see everyone! Even if I didn't quite meet my weight loss goal.
And now to go lie down and relax and hopefully pass out after my full day.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
enjoy the silence? not so much.
My sister and the rest of the family left for Panama City Beach on Saturday. I've basically been trying to convince myself for the last week and a half that I really didn't care that I wouldn't be able to go down to the beach with them. Not even for a quick day trip. After all, PCB is so overrated, anyway. And we didn't have the money. And blah blah blahbitty blah. But, sure enough, when the house cleared out around noon on Saturday I was crestfallen. Sad, even. I guess I really wanted to see the Emerald Coast after all.
The Monkey isn't as thick as he sometimes lets on. I was sullen most of Saturday afternoon. Not even the Spongebob Spongebash marathon was cheering me up. That's when The Monkey gave me surprise, middle-of-the-afternoon-the-house-is-completely-devoid-of-lifeforms-that-don't-walk-on-all-fours-be-as-loud-as-you-want sex. Which, I'll admit, did cheer me up. But what really made my day was when he said if we had the $20 it would cost for gas that we should go ahead and make the trip down to PCB for the afternoon. At least we could get some sun and get our fill of the beach. (Not to mention SALT WATER TAFFY!)
We got up early Sunday and got to PCB by 11:00 AM. Naturally, the weather was less than cooperative. We would get hit with the 20% chance of showers. [eyeroll] But we got to swim for a couple of hours. And we hung out with my mom in my sister's condo for another hour. Then we headed to Pier Park and picked up a little over a POUND of Salt Water Taffy for yours truly and headed home. (I am ashamed to admit that the pound of taffy was gone within 48 hours. Er...maybe less.
What made the whole trip go sour for me was not the less-than-desirable weather, though. No, it was the fact that upon our return, The Monkey became ill. Fluids coming from both ends. YUK. We had a bit of a scare when his poo because the consistency of coffee grounds. Thankfully the doctor said it was nothing more than a stomach bug (even though our GP sent us to a surgeon to find this out and for several hours I was on razor's edge thinking The Monkey was going to be having an emergency colonoscopy). He was much better by Tuesday evening. His blood pressure was close to normal (130/80) and he's already dropped 10 pounds (though I'm not sure how much of that was mere fluid loss). He's perfectly fine today and back on solid food again. We had tortellini and garlic bread for supper tonight after living on soup and crackers for the past two nights.
The house is too quiet. My sister's poor dog was depressed the first two days they were gone. He barely ate and only came down from his bed upstairs to go outside. But he's been spending much more time downstairs since Tuesday. In fact, he won't leave me alone!
The week has been boooooooring. The Monkey has to work, of course, so I'm home alone all day. As tempted as I've been, I have not been sleeping until noon, though. I spent some time over at my parents' house and ran errands. At night, The Monkey and I have been enjoying oodles of DVR'd movies from the pay channels. My sister pays for Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO but they hardly ever watch movies. I also caught up on So You Think You Can Dance. (In fact, it's about time for me to go upstairs and watch yesterday's show so I can watch the results show later this evening.)
Only 12 more days until we leave for Pennsylvania. I am pretty stoked! I have lots of stuff to occupy my coming week. I need to get our cars reregistered. On the 30th I have to travel to Birmingham to see my RE. On the 31st I have a hair appointment. Then it'll be another mad dash to clean the house and pack before we depart on the 4th! I should get started on a list of what I need to bring NOW so I'm not scrambling later. If only I could figure out a way to drop these last 10 pounds by the 4th... hmmph.
The Monkey isn't as thick as he sometimes lets on. I was sullen most of Saturday afternoon. Not even the Spongebob Spongebash marathon was cheering me up. That's when The Monkey gave me surprise, middle-of-the-afternoon-the-house-is-completely-devoid-of-lifeforms-that-don't-walk-on-all-fours-be-as-loud-as-you-want sex. Which, I'll admit, did cheer me up. But what really made my day was when he said if we had the $20 it would cost for gas that we should go ahead and make the trip down to PCB for the afternoon. At least we could get some sun and get our fill of the beach. (Not to mention SALT WATER TAFFY!)
We got up early Sunday and got to PCB by 11:00 AM. Naturally, the weather was less than cooperative. We would get hit with the 20% chance of showers. [eyeroll] But we got to swim for a couple of hours. And we hung out with my mom in my sister's condo for another hour. Then we headed to Pier Park and picked up a little over a POUND of Salt Water Taffy for yours truly and headed home. (I am ashamed to admit that the pound of taffy was gone within 48 hours. Er...maybe less.
What made the whole trip go sour for me was not the less-than-desirable weather, though. No, it was the fact that upon our return, The Monkey became ill. Fluids coming from both ends. YUK. We had a bit of a scare when his poo because the consistency of coffee grounds. Thankfully the doctor said it was nothing more than a stomach bug (even though our GP sent us to a surgeon to find this out and for several hours I was on razor's edge thinking The Monkey was going to be having an emergency colonoscopy). He was much better by Tuesday evening. His blood pressure was close to normal (130/80) and he's already dropped 10 pounds (though I'm not sure how much of that was mere fluid loss). He's perfectly fine today and back on solid food again. We had tortellini and garlic bread for supper tonight after living on soup and crackers for the past two nights.
The house is too quiet. My sister's poor dog was depressed the first two days they were gone. He barely ate and only came down from his bed upstairs to go outside. But he's been spending much more time downstairs since Tuesday. In fact, he won't leave me alone!
The week has been boooooooring. The Monkey has to work, of course, so I'm home alone all day. As tempted as I've been, I have not been sleeping until noon, though. I spent some time over at my parents' house and ran errands. At night, The Monkey and I have been enjoying oodles of DVR'd movies from the pay channels. My sister pays for Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO but they hardly ever watch movies. I also caught up on So You Think You Can Dance. (In fact, it's about time for me to go upstairs and watch yesterday's show so I can watch the results show later this evening.)
Only 12 more days until we leave for Pennsylvania. I am pretty stoked! I have lots of stuff to occupy my coming week. I need to get our cars reregistered. On the 30th I have to travel to Birmingham to see my RE. On the 31st I have a hair appointment. Then it'll be another mad dash to clean the house and pack before we depart on the 4th! I should get started on a list of what I need to bring NOW so I'm not scrambling later. If only I could figure out a way to drop these last 10 pounds by the 4th... hmmph.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
just a couple more weeks
Because I didn't continue to steadily and slowly lose weight over the past month, I now have to lose five pounds a week to meet my original goal for August. Since that's obviously not going to happen I am going to lose as much as possible between now and then and hope for the best. I'm really hoping my face clears up before our trip. My mom is talking about portraits and I'd really rather not have to look at this face frozen in time. I have a hair appointment scheduled for the 31st. At least I'll have awesome hair.
So I was going to schedule appointments with an endocrinologist to get new prescriptions for my metformin and Sythroid. But, as it turns out, the only endocrinologist that I can see locally requires a referral from my GP before they'll see me. Then I'd have to fuss around and get records from my RE and everything else. I also wanted to get on birth control pills, preferably before left for Pennsylvania, but my OBGYN couldn't get me in until August 17th. GAAH! So I broke down and called my RE instead. They, as usual, were super nice. They said there wouldn't be a problem managing my PCOS and thyroid. So I have an appointment in Bham for the 30th. It sucks that I have to drive all that way for a 30 minute appointment but at least I'll be able to get all of my meds and my annual pap in one shot. Plus I don't have to wait. So it'll be worth it. Not to mention I won't have to worry about sitting in the waiting room at my OBGYN's office amongst all of the pregnant women. I was dreading that more than the papsmear itself.
I have nothing else exciting going on. I'm looking forward to our trip. My sister is going to the beach for a week. They leave on Saturday which leaves The Monkey and I alone for an entire week. Should be good times. I would like to take a trip down to the beach for a day but I'm not sure if I will.
I am thoroughly excited to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Friday. I'll admit to being a little bummed that we weren't able to go to the midnight premiere last night but I'll get over it. I have absolutely nothing to do today so I think I'll lounge around and try to breeze through the book one more time. I am such a nerd. :P
So I was going to schedule appointments with an endocrinologist to get new prescriptions for my metformin and Sythroid. But, as it turns out, the only endocrinologist that I can see locally requires a referral from my GP before they'll see me. Then I'd have to fuss around and get records from my RE and everything else. I also wanted to get on birth control pills, preferably before left for Pennsylvania, but my OBGYN couldn't get me in until August 17th. GAAH! So I broke down and called my RE instead. They, as usual, were super nice. They said there wouldn't be a problem managing my PCOS and thyroid. So I have an appointment in Bham for the 30th. It sucks that I have to drive all that way for a 30 minute appointment but at least I'll be able to get all of my meds and my annual pap in one shot. Plus I don't have to wait. So it'll be worth it. Not to mention I won't have to worry about sitting in the waiting room at my OBGYN's office amongst all of the pregnant women. I was dreading that more than the papsmear itself.
I have nothing else exciting going on. I'm looking forward to our trip. My sister is going to the beach for a week. They leave on Saturday which leaves The Monkey and I alone for an entire week. Should be good times. I would like to take a trip down to the beach for a day but I'm not sure if I will.
I am thoroughly excited to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Friday. I'll admit to being a little bummed that we weren't able to go to the midnight premiere last night but I'll get over it. I have absolutely nothing to do today so I think I'll lounge around and try to breeze through the book one more time. I am such a nerd. :P
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
just get it out of your head
Even though getting pregnant right now would be nothing short of stupid I still, in the back of my mind, never stopped wishing it would happen. Of course, it hasn't. And I never, truly expected it to. Just that nagging hope poking the back of my brain...
but what if, what if, what if??
In regards to my girly bits, this past year has been freakish. I am used to not having a period for MONTHS at a time. It's one of the 'hallmarks' of PCOS, after all. But this past year I've been semi-regular. Maybe it comes from living with my ultra-fertile, set-a-clock-by-her-periods regular sister. She gets PMS-y and, sure enough, a few days later I am PMS-y. But, unlike her, my cycles were still erratic. A few times I bled for WEEKS at a time. I'd stop bleeding and be all THANK GOD and jump The Monkey's bones only to hear my sister say "Ugh, I'm getting ready to start..." and, after a mere week's reprieve from bleeding, I would start right along with her. I have wanted to hurt her on more than one occasion because of this.
Gradually the length of my period has been dwindling. The longest I went was 20 days. The shortest being last "cycle" during which I had a light flow for about a week. Only to start again ten days later. So, yeah, it's a bit annoying. Not to mention MAJORLY inconvenient. And a little expensive.
Without insurance, it was kind of pointless for me to try and get birth control pills to control things. Plus I want to be on a specific birth control pill (Yasmin) because the progestin in it has shown to help lower androgens. And it helped me lose weight in 2007 when we went on TTC hiatus post miscarriage. (In less than three months, I believe, I dropped 12-ish pounds.) However, now that I have medical insurance, there really isn't any reason for me to torture myself with these insane cycles. I mean, it's not like they are predictable. And they're wreaking havoc on my sex life. And I really don't need to get pregnant right now. And birth control pills are good for helping with PCOS symptoms. And, all in all, it's a wise decision.
And yet.
what if, what if, what if...?
[sigh]
So I guess it's time to make an appointment with my OBGYN for a slightly overdue annual exam. And it's time to seek out an endocrinologist to have all the routine tests done for hypothyroidism and insulin resistance / PCOS. And it's time to focus on getting The Monkey's back pain under control, even if it means potential spine surgery. And it's long past time for both of us to get our health under control. Especially The Monkey's sleep apnea, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol.
It sort of feels like closure. It wreaks of finality that I'm not sure I'm ready to go through but know that I need to go through anyway. Hopefully children are still in our future. Hopefully this time next year I'll go back to my RE, get things rolling again, and be knocked up within a few months rather than a few years.
I know it's the right decision. I know it's the adult and smart decision. But that doesn't change how absolutely wrong it feels.
but what if, what if, what if??
In regards to my girly bits, this past year has been freakish. I am used to not having a period for MONTHS at a time. It's one of the 'hallmarks' of PCOS, after all. But this past year I've been semi-regular. Maybe it comes from living with my ultra-fertile, set-a-clock-by-her-periods regular sister. She gets PMS-y and, sure enough, a few days later I am PMS-y. But, unlike her, my cycles were still erratic. A few times I bled for WEEKS at a time. I'd stop bleeding and be all THANK GOD and jump The Monkey's bones only to hear my sister say "Ugh, I'm getting ready to start..." and, after a mere week's reprieve from bleeding, I would start right along with her. I have wanted to hurt her on more than one occasion because of this.
Gradually the length of my period has been dwindling. The longest I went was 20 days. The shortest being last "cycle" during which I had a light flow for about a week. Only to start again ten days later. So, yeah, it's a bit annoying. Not to mention MAJORLY inconvenient. And a little expensive.
Without insurance, it was kind of pointless for me to try and get birth control pills to control things. Plus I want to be on a specific birth control pill (Yasmin) because the progestin in it has shown to help lower androgens. And it helped me lose weight in 2007 when we went on TTC hiatus post miscarriage. (In less than three months, I believe, I dropped 12-ish pounds.) However, now that I have medical insurance, there really isn't any reason for me to torture myself with these insane cycles. I mean, it's not like they are predictable. And they're wreaking havoc on my sex life. And I really don't need to get pregnant right now. And birth control pills are good for helping with PCOS symptoms. And, all in all, it's a wise decision.
And yet.
what if, what if, what if...?
[sigh]
So I guess it's time to make an appointment with my OBGYN for a slightly overdue annual exam. And it's time to seek out an endocrinologist to have all the routine tests done for hypothyroidism and insulin resistance / PCOS. And it's time to focus on getting The Monkey's back pain under control, even if it means potential spine surgery. And it's long past time for both of us to get our health under control. Especially The Monkey's sleep apnea, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol.
It sort of feels like closure. It wreaks of finality that I'm not sure I'm ready to go through but know that I need to go through anyway. Hopefully children are still in our future. Hopefully this time next year I'll go back to my RE, get things rolling again, and be knocked up within a few months rather than a few years.
I know it's the right decision. I know it's the adult and smart decision. But that doesn't change how absolutely wrong it feels.
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