reality

I'm beginning to wonder when pregnancy is going to feel real. My logical/rational side keeps telling me to keep my cool because bad things can still happen. But my heart is telling me that these are my bring home babies. I can't explain my heart but right now, it speaks much louder than my brain. (It doesn't hurt that I'm able to hear the Twinkies on my home doppler now.)

My brain is busy processing that there will more than likely be two little babies in the house in roughly seven months time. Still... my mind's eye just can't see it. I still can't picture my belly getting big and round. I still can't picture myself nursing (or bottle feeding -- whatever the case may be). Which is really strange because while we were going through cycle after cycle of trying I had zero issues picturing us as parents.

But now that it's really happening, I'm drawing complete blanks! What's up with that?

In other news, The Monkey and I went to Toys 'R Us to do some Christmas shopping and spent our first 20 minutes on the Babies 'R Us side. I don't think The Monkey would admit it but I could sense a hint of excitement from him. He poked and prodded through the different "contraptions." He played with strollers and infant carriers. He even looked at nursery decor.

There aren't enough words to express my happiness right now. I'm just wondering... when does it feel really real??