thank you AOL radio

I used to think a couple of the local rock stations were absolutely awesome because they had a segment at night that they called "Mandatory Metallica" where they played five or six Metallica songs back to back. (One also used to have a "Mandatory Maynard" segment where they did the same thing with Tool songs.)

But AOL Radio takes the cake. They have an All Metallica All the Time channel. Absolutely genius.

Thank you, AOL Radio. Thank you.

adventures with falsies!

I've been contemplating makeup possibilities for the concert. I mean, when I "dress up" I really like to coordinate things. Oh who am I kidding... you all know me well enough that I LOVE to coordinate even when I'm not dressing up. But special occasions (especially ones so far in advance) allow me the opportunity to experiment and play. Mostly I've been playing with grays with hints of black. But it just hasn't seemed...sharp enough for a heavy metal concert. Even the smokey look seems a bit too tame (if you can believe that). So I decided to throw my inhibition to the wind and experiment with dark, heavy grays and black liner. Also, since dark colors on my lids tend to mask the fact that I actually do have eyelashes, I am going to try out some falsies. Heh.

Tonight I came up with this kind of on a whim. It looks okay, I guess. Definitely closer to what I'm aiming for.



I really dig the false eyelashes. I didn't actually apply them with glue yet, but they fit my eyes perfectly and didn't feel strange at all. If these work out, I think I might try some with glitter.

Tomorrow I am going to try this look:



I really like how she went "outside the box" and put dark in the corners of her eyes and left the middle of her lid neutral. We'll see how I do.

(And just so I don't look like a thief, I found the tutorial here. She is speaking German, though. Too bad I didn't, you know, learn more German while I was living in Germany for 11 years. Oh the shame!)

I have the cutest niece EVER.

So, we just finished eating supper and we were all hanging out in the living room chit-chatting. My niece, Madison, was walking around playing with a little flashlight. She was pointing it at the ceiling and nearly falling over backward to look at the spot of light. Hilarious! Then my oldest nephew, Raymond, started flipping through some music on his cell phone. When he put on King Nothing by Metallica Madison (who is all of 19 months old) started mimicking my nephew who was, of course, headbanging. And because she's such a ham, when we started laughing at her she kept doing it. I think my sister caught it on video. If she did, prepare to be overloaded by CUTE.

She is DEFINITELY a child after my own heart. [happy sigh] My little rocker in the making. :D

when the impossible becomes possible

The Monkey had to work 12:00 - 9:00 PM today which, honestly, got me feeling down. It's not that I mind him working, I truly don't, but our hours spent together are dwindling rapidly. With all the overtime he's racking up, I hardly get to see him. So today, he swapped shifts with his coworker and worked the late shift. When he gets home [momentarily] he'll get changed and probably crawl right into bed because he has to get up and work 7:00 AM to 4:00 PM tomorrow. [sigh]

So, in an effort to keep myself sufficiently distracted, I decided to make a trip to D-Town to hit up Old Navy. Mostly I was looking to exchange the pants I bought for The Monkey online a few weeks ago. And I also wanted to look at swimsuits. YIKES!! Bring on the self loathing...

So I drug my sister out to D-Town in the rain (this weather SUCKS) and we get to Old Navy and I spend a good half hour looking for The Monkey's pants in the correct size. I have no luck finding his shorts. Then I went traipsing around looking at this and that. Finally, I hit up the swimsuit section. They had some super cute tankini tops but no bottoms that matched. But then... I found a cute aqua blue with white polka dots tankini halter in my size! And, to my surprise, I found a super cute skirted bottom to match! Score! Since it was the only matching set I could find in my size, I decided to try it on. Cue aforementioned self loathing...

But I have lost some weight. I weighed myself this morning and was pleased when the scale said 220! Only 20 more pounds to go until I reach my first (of many) goals! I am absolutely tickled that several pairs of my old capris fit me comfortably again! But back to my fitting room antics...

So I go in and strip down to my skivvies. I go to pull on the skirted bottoms only to find out that the skirted bottoms have no bottoms! It's just a cute little skirt made of swimsuit material. CURSES! Then I try on the top. Much to my surprise, the ensemble is very flattering. Especially the little skirt which flares out like a swimsuit version of a tutu and not only disguises my tummy but makes me look like I have a butt! (For the record, my butt is ridiculously flat. I would give anything to move some of the extra poundage from my midsection to my rump. Meh.) I was so tickled to have not only tried on a swimsuit and actually be pleased enough to purchase it but I did it on the first try. The planets must be in perfect alignment or something. This is an absolute first for me! (Even at my thinnest I had a hard time finding swimsuits.) But there was still the pesky problem of finding...uh...bottoms to go under the skirt. (I'm still pretty miffed that the skirt didn't have "built in" bottoms. Who the hell designed this thing?!)

Despite another half hour of searching (and even trying on a pair of itsy bitsy teenie weenie, tie-on-the-side white pair) I came up empty handed. But I simply could NOT let this swimsuit go! So I bought it anyway and figured I'd be able to find a pair of white bottoms somewhere else. They didn't have to be special. Just plain white. The skirt will be covering them up, after all.

I had no luck finding white bottoms, though. Thankfully I came straight home and logged onto oldnavy.com and found the matching polka dot bottoms in my size. Wee! So now I have a swimsuit that flatters even my non-figure. Hooray!

I am also happy to say that my plans for distraction worked perfectly. We left around 1:30 and didn't get back until 7:00 PM. The Monkey got home at quarter after 9:00.

My sister and I are planning another excursion to Old Navy tomorrow morning. We need to be there as soon as they open. If you haven't heard, they are having $1.00 flip flop day tomorrow! Holy crap! Who can resist flip flops for a dollar?! They have them in EVERY color and I NEED them in EVERY color, damnit! Plus I'll be able to replace a couple of my old pairs that are just completely worn out. I don't understand why they don't do this every year!

our carpet is cursed

I swear, since the flooding, this carpet has attracted more crap in the past few weeks than it had in the [almost] year it has covered the garage floor. The last four days have been full of cat puke. Everywhere. At least a dozen piles of it. Plus a few hairballs. (We're working on controlling the culprit's, who turned out to be Jasmine, diet in hopes of solving the issue without an expensive visit to the vet. The only thing I can think is that maybe she ate a bad bug or a spider? But she doesn't puke when she is in the kennel so we're feeding her small amounts in the morning and the evening before bed and putting her in the kennel overnight. This seems to stave off the puke-a-rama.)

But back to the carpet.

This evening The Monkey was sitting down watching a bit of the tube when my six year old nephew walked up to the screen door, promptly dropped his drawers, and began emptying his full bladder onto our carpet through the screen door. The Monkey was like "Dude! Wake up!" but you know boys... once they start, they can't stop. So we spent the last 20 minutes cleaning up pee (my sister helped, of course) and cracking up because, hey, it was pretty freaking hilarious. This is the second time he's done this and all we can deduce is that he's just really tired when it happens and gets lost/confused in his walking coma-like state. The last time he did it he peed on my sister's bed. But that was a couple of years ago, easy. So it's not a common occurance or anything.

Any more freakish fluids on this carpet and I'm going to have to rent a Rug Doctor. Actually, that doesn't sound like a half bad idea at all. :-/

what's your greatest fear?

This morning I was signing into The Monkey's account with Sallie Mae to make a payment on his student loans. Before they'd let me do anything I had to pick five (yes, FIVE) security questions. The list had a bunch of unusual/off the wall choices. So I picked the ones I knew the answers to first (favorite band, mother's maiden name, city of birth) but was left with two more. So when he walked back in the room I picked the next one on the list.

Me: Baby, what's your greatest fear?
(seriously without missing a beat or even pausing to think about it)
The Monkey: Prison sex.
[cue hysterical laughter]
Me: Really??
The Monkey: That's why I don't break the law. I don't want to go to jail!

My husband is insanely hilarious.

Rue 21 Rocks My Socks!

Quite literally, actually. I've always had silly clothes fetishes. I have a habit of finding a shirt that I really like and I wind up with that same shirt in five or six different colors. I like to do my very best to match my undies to my outfit. A couple of winters ago I started having trouble wearing my [ankle] boots. Every sock that I tried simply fell down. It was terribly annoying! I tried crew socks, trouser socks, and even ankle socks to no avail. Then, one afternoon while browsing Wal-Mart, I came across knee-socks. You know, Argyle type socks? So I bought a pair and lo and behold they worked. I quickly stocked up and they became a wardrobe staple.

During my Christmas shopping endeavors I came to know Rue 21. I'd never been in this store because from the outside looking in, it just didn't appeal to me. It looked like a store for juniors/skinny people and I didn't feel like torturing myself. When I finally ventured in my assumptions were indeed confirmed but I wound up finding a couple of gifts for my niece and nephew and I discovered the one item of clothing that is almost impossible to find too small.

SOCKS.

Lots of socks. In a wide array of colors and styles. Socks with bright neon rainbow stripes. And stars. And, even better yet, bright neon rainbow stars. I love socks. Even though you don't see them, I like to match them to my outfit. They are fun! I love walking up to my friends, pulling up my pant leg and saying "My socks are SO cooler than your socks!" And they totally are. So now I have a drawer full of knee-socks in various colors and styles. Basically I'm prepared to match my socks to whatever I wear. (Yes, I'll be wearing green socks tomorrow, thankyouverymuch.) I even bought some cute crew socks to wear this spring/summer when I don't feel like wearing flip flops.

Thank goodness I'm married. I'll never have to worry about dating someone that is using me just for my socks! (Hehe... iCarly reference.)

much much more than a mouthful!

Something has gone haywire in my body. In light of my recent weight loss, I had to downsize my bra from a 44D to my 42Ds. Only my 42Ds fit perfectly around the chest but I seemed to...er...fall out of the cups. So, in a fit of boredom I went to Lane Bryant (where I've been buying my bras since I came back to the US in 2003 -- even when I was a size 8/10) to browse the bras. Lane Bryant usually runs fantastic sales on their intimates. You can find bras buy one, get one 1/2 off or even buy one, get one free almost year 'round. Not to mention cotton hipster panties that can seriously stand the test of time at five for $25. (I'd much rather spend $5 on a pair of drawers that will last me a good two years than spend $6 for six pair from Wal-Mart that will only last me six months.)

At any rate, Lane Bryant had a new style bra out that looked nice. I wasn't going to buy anything, I swear, but then I decided to take my measurements just to see how much my bra size had changed since the last time I was measured. (The last time I was measured would've been about a year and a half ago. At the time I was a 42D, according to the sales rep. I'm beginning to feel skeptical, though.) So I checked out the sizing information on the website. It says to measure right under the breasts for your chest size. I measured 41 1/2 inches (rounded up to 42 inches). I was not surprised by that (but I was pleased because the last time I measured that part of my body I was 43 1/2 inches. Yay weight loss!) Then I measured my bust: the fullest part of the twins. The tape measure said 48 inches. Eh? According to Lane Bryant's sizing chart that puts my bra size at a staggering 42 DDD. A triple D?? I don't think I've ever been a triple D in my entire life! (Or, then again, maybe I have and I've just been too stubborn to believe that my girls were actually that big. Just to be safe, I had The Monkey remeasure me. A few times. Then I remeasured myself. A few more times. Finally I threw down the tape measure and claimed that it must be broken because, seriously, my boobs are NOT THAT BIG.

Are they?

The Monkey just smiled and went back to playing Burnout on Xbox.

Curses.

So then I went further and read on how a bra should fit when it fits properly. I failed at nearly all the criteria. My straps were too loose but when tightened, my cups overflowed. The underwire did not encompass the entire breast. The center portion of the bra did not lie flush with my chest. Wow. Upon further Googling, it seems that when you decrease your chest measurement (e.g. my going from a 44 to a 42) you should increase your cup size. Hmm.

eHow says that 80% of women wear the wrong bra size. So at least I'm in the majority. :P Maybe we're just a nation of big ol' busty women that are too alarmed by claims of D cups. Hah!

So I did wind up making a purchase even though that wasn't my original intent. Bras were buy one, get one 1/2 off. Panties (which I am in dire need of) were the usual five for $25. Then they gave me 30% off coupon for my entire purchase on top of that! Thirteen new pairs of panties and two new bras for $86. Plus I'm a cardholder so I got free shipping. I'd say that's a pretty darn good deal. And it was mostly non-frivilous spending. I mean, after all, I haven't bought new bras in well over a year. And the ones I have don't fit properly. :P

this is NOT normal!

Yesterday the weather forecast said something about cold and 'rain/snow' mix. Of course, I laughed this prediction off. Snow in this part of the world? Sheeah, right.

Imagine my surprise when the kids woke me up early this morning to show me this:



I won't be surprised when all the businesses that are open today shut down. [dies laughing] Then again, do I even remember how to drive in the snow?? It's been nearly six years, after all. Thank goodness it's not sticking. :P

feeling whimsical

When my now 14 year old nephew was 4 we used to sit together and watch Rugrats on Nickelodeon. I remember him yelling for me if I wasn't in front of the TV with him when it came on. (Now he curses and plays Xbox. [eyeroll]) I remember March Madness (or something like that) of 1999 when they released Spongebob Squarepants. It didn't appeal to me until five-ish years later when my two year old nephew took a liking to it. (He's six now and yes, he still watches lots of Spongebob.) Last year when I was going through a particularly hard depression, I spent lots of time on my couch alternating between sleeping and watching lots of Spongebob. So I've grown to love the little yellow square and his IQ-impaired pink friend. (I even have a favorite episode -- Sailor Mouth. [snicker])

For grins, I decided to revamp my LiveJournal User Icons today. I was tired of using dorky pictures of myself. :P So, I did some searching on Photobucket for several and then I made this one on my own:



And, for grins, here is the aforementioned nephew (at around two-ish) watching Spongebob and cracking up...

Click for a good laugh!

Quick! Someone get a pail of water!

This is a response I got from Toughlove on my last post:

I have one thought for you.

Tubal Ligation.

If you can't handle having blood drawn and are obviously seriously psychiatrically disabled, what kind of a parent would you make?

NO WIRE HANGERS!

She posted that in response to my comment from Donna's entry in which she posted a nasty comment Anonymously. Now she is registered with Blogger so she can continue to spread her nastiness and discord all through cyberspace.

Does anyone else find this absolutely gut-bustingly hilarious?? I mean, even through my years on Fertility Friend (and you all KNOW the drama that used to erupt there almost daily) I never once got flamed or picked on or anything. I don't think I've been in a flame war since my age still had the word 'teen' in it. I find it particularly amusing that GROWN women still stoop to such levels. The worst part? People like that are breeding. Natural selection is truly dead! :P

Notice how she focused on she specifically focused her comments towards aspects of my life that cause me regular emotional pain. But no worries. I'm suddenly reminded of a quote from the Wizard of Oz. Remember when Glinda the Good Witch of the North tells the Wicked Witch of the West "You have no power here! Now begone, before somebody drops a house on you!" It seems wicked appropriate right about now.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled program. :)