The holidays commenced with mostly a minimal amount of madness this year. Christmas was a bit of a let down. Even though I thought that I'd mentally prepared myself to spend the holiday just The Monkey and me, it turned out to be very difficult. I spent a good deal of Christmas Eve night and Christmas day crying. Er...sobbing. Boo hoo. I don't think it would've been quite so depressing if The Monkey hadn't had a sudden recurrance of his sciatica. It was so bad that he was incapacitated. Eventually I convinced him (and myself) that he needed medical attention. We drove out to the medical center (which is about 45 minutes away) to the ER. We chose to do this instead of going to our local hospital because we know the type of ER care our hospital gives and it's NOT what we were looking for. As it turned out, however, we wasted the extra money in gas because the medical center was just as bad! If not worse. The on call doctor refused to call the on call MRI staff (seeing as how it was Christmas and all) and sent The Monkey home with NO medication. He got three shots in the butt before he left: a steroid, a pain killer, and a muscle relaxer. But that wasn't after the on call ER doc practically drilled him about his prescription drug use. (She was very accusatory with her line of questioning asking him how often our GP prescribes him Lortab for pain; how often he takes it... blah blah blah.) The Monkey was being very polite until I jumped in and told her very sternly that the prescription he was currently taking for pain was nearly a year old and that he almost NEVER takes pain killers if he can help it. It would be one thing if he even looked a little like he was faking it. But, I'm sorry, you can NOT "fake" a significant rise in BP (like 20+ points) or a crazy fast heart rate. He was in a LOT of pain! At any rate, the medication they gave him either did him some good or the rest and massages and stretching we did at home did him some good. Either way, on the 26th he was completely mobile again. He isn't in pain anymore, so to speak. His back no longer hurts and neither does his butt or his leg; but his calf and parts of his right foot are tingly/numb. We know it's a low back nerve issue. We are working on getting him setup for an MRI.
So, yeah, Christmas pretty much sucked. But it's just another day on the calendar, right? I certainly can't let one day (regardless of it's cultural or religious significance) ruin an entire year. 2009 certainly wasn't, by any means, a horrible year. It was full of some ups and downs (what year isn't??) but over all, I think it was pretty darn good.
2009 certainly ended well. The Monkey, as I said before, went from being incapacitated by pain on Christmas to being almost completely normal for New Year's Eve. My sister and family came home from their vacation early so they were all here for New Year's Eve as well. I have to say I was quite happy that they cut their vacation short. As selfish as that may sound! At any rate, we hung out over at my mom and dad's for th evening. We'd brought our X-Box and stuff over their house for Christmas Eve but didn't get to play it because we wound up staying at home. But we did play it on New Year's Eve and it was a lot of fun. I had a few Mike's Spiced Apple (YUM!!) and a couple of weak rum and Cokes. I can't really drink much alcohol these days. Not only do I not drink often so I've become quite the lightweight. Not to mention several of my daily medications interact with alcohol (read: I get drunker WAY faster) so just a few drinks does me in pretty quick. Which is actually kind of nice. I'm definitely a cheap bar date! Anyhow, we rang in the New Year playing pool and having a good time. We left shortly after midnight and came home to sleep.
Speaking of SLEEP... the most exciting part of 2009 happened on New Year's Eve. The Monkey and I actually slept together in the same bed all night!! We haven't slept in the same bed for three years because his snoring was just that bad. I finally bit the bullet and jumped through a dozen hoops to get him set up with a CPAP machine. The first night was horrific because his pressure setting was WAY too low and he felt like he was suffocating. But now that we have that fixed I don't even have to fight with him to put the darn thing on! We woke up early this weekend for our usual routine of cuddling and early morning nookie. Afterwards I fell back asleep. And he did as well. Imagine my surprise when I woke up and saw that he'd put his mask back on to do so! He can certainly tell the difference in how he feels. And WOW... so can I! He already has much more energy. He's been sitting down to play video games (both WoW and X-Box) without falling asleep during. I took more naps this weekend than he did! It has been absolutely incredible and I only wish we'd known years ago how good one of these machines would be for him! I have a feeling that he'll start losing weight easier now that his body is getting recouperative rest. We are both looking forward to being healthier and happier in 2010; even moreso than we were in 2009. (In fact, I've set my sights on a NEW weight loss goal. I lost a total of 33 pounds in 2009 -- about seven pounds short of my goal. My new goal for 2010 is to lose at least another 30. Definitely more if I can manage!)
So alls well that ends well. Now I'm going to go crawl into bed with my husband and go to sleep.
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
holiday cheer
I am ready for Christmas. Well except for buying the kids' gifts. But they won't be back until New Year's Eve at the earliest so I have a couple of extra days. Otherwise I am completely ready. Tomorrow night we are going to take the X-Box over to my parents' house and probably rent The Beatles Rock Band. I have a quart of Dairy Fresh Eggnog in the fridge and will be going to ABC Liquors to get a bottle of spiced rum to add to it. I am also going to make some more mulled wine (my mom LOVED it) and I have a six pack of Mike's Spice Apple as well. Good times are sure to be had.
Life is pretty unspectacular and good all at the same time. We still have yet to put things back together after our recent flooding but we're not going to worry about it until this weekend. It's supposed to rain tomorrow and I would hate to put everything back together tomorrow only to have to tear it back apart again. Since we had to get rid of all the carpeting all we have is a bare concrete floor. Which, granted, might be nice in the summer time but not so much in the winter. We're going to check Lowe's and a few other flooring stores for scrap carpet. We are not doing wall-to-wall this time because that has proved to be a serious hassle.
My very last car payment is due on January 2nd. I cannot even begin to express how happy I am about this! Then The Monkey's last payment is in February. So we'll officially OWN two cars! w00t w00t! One of these days we're going to have to look at getting The Monkey's bumper fixed. (A friend was rear-ended in Panama City back in November 2005. We got the settlement money and, uh, spent it on other things. Seeing how it was November we probably spent it on Christmas. :P)
During the month of October I managed to gain a good eight pounds. I was back up to 217! Thankfully that weight has slowly but surely come off over the past two months. Now I am down to my lowest in years... 207!! If anyone has any ideas for me to drop seven pounds in about a week I would love to hear it. :P (I'm not really considering trying this. I expect that I'll actually gain a few pounds over Christmas and New Years since I plan on drinking.) But seeing as how I'm less than 10 pounds from meeting my weight loss goal for 2009 I won't beat myself up too much!
Having this big ol' house to ourselves is a bit strange. Definitely lonely without my sister and the kiddos. But the quiet is kind of nice. Who doesn't enjoy a bit of peace and quiet once in a while after all?? (Well as peacful and quiet as it can be with five cats and a dog in the house!)
And now I am going to go get dressed and head out to get my eyebrows waxed. Then I will come back home and do my makeup. Trying to figure out what to make for supper. A pot roast sounds good. But, then again, so does meatloaf. Decisions decisions...
Life is pretty unspectacular and good all at the same time. We still have yet to put things back together after our recent flooding but we're not going to worry about it until this weekend. It's supposed to rain tomorrow and I would hate to put everything back together tomorrow only to have to tear it back apart again. Since we had to get rid of all the carpeting all we have is a bare concrete floor. Which, granted, might be nice in the summer time but not so much in the winter. We're going to check Lowe's and a few other flooring stores for scrap carpet. We are not doing wall-to-wall this time because that has proved to be a serious hassle.
My very last car payment is due on January 2nd. I cannot even begin to express how happy I am about this! Then The Monkey's last payment is in February. So we'll officially OWN two cars! w00t w00t! One of these days we're going to have to look at getting The Monkey's bumper fixed. (A friend was rear-ended in Panama City back in November 2005. We got the settlement money and, uh, spent it on other things. Seeing how it was November we probably spent it on Christmas. :P)
During the month of October I managed to gain a good eight pounds. I was back up to 217! Thankfully that weight has slowly but surely come off over the past two months. Now I am down to my lowest in years... 207!! If anyone has any ideas for me to drop seven pounds in about a week I would love to hear it. :P (I'm not really considering trying this. I expect that I'll actually gain a few pounds over Christmas and New Years since I plan on drinking.) But seeing as how I'm less than 10 pounds from meeting my weight loss goal for 2009 I won't beat myself up too much!
Having this big ol' house to ourselves is a bit strange. Definitely lonely without my sister and the kiddos. But the quiet is kind of nice. Who doesn't enjoy a bit of peace and quiet once in a while after all?? (Well as peacful and quiet as it can be with five cats and a dog in the house!)
And now I am going to go get dressed and head out to get my eyebrows waxed. Then I will come back home and do my makeup. Trying to figure out what to make for supper. A pot roast sounds good. But, then again, so does meatloaf. Decisions decisions...
Thursday, November 5, 2009
this is what happens
When depression hits as hard as it has in the past month, things stop getting done. Important things like laundry and scooping the litter boxes. There have been a couple days where I've realized late in the afternoon (sometimes the evening) that I've forgotten to feed the cats.
For the past two weeks The Monkey has had to scrounge for work clothes. I did wash and dry all of the clothes last weekend but I didn't really fold them. And I certainly didn't put anything away (who could be bothered??). So my poor Monkey has had to deal with ironing this week. (Normally he can toss his khakis and a polo into the dryer for a few minutes to "dewrinkle" them.) And searching through heaps of clothes for two matching socks and clean underwear.
Guilt, guilt, guilt.
And so today, the guilt has overtaken the depression momentarily. I've decided that today, I will finish the laundry if it kills me. I will scoop the litter boxes. I will vaccuum and take out the trash. I draw the line at making the bed, though. Pshaw. (And I did remember to feed and water the cats this morning; just so we're clear that I'm not starving my furbabies to death.)
In the mean time, I am babysitting my niece. It's kind of incredible that she is already turning TWO this month. She's a good girl (albeit very spoiled and sometimes rotten). I have to bribe her to get kisses and sometimes she is flat out mean to me for no reason at all. But I guess that's just a toddler for you. My oldest niece was the same way at this age. My nephews, on the other hand, were always loveable to me. So it must be a girl thing.
My whacked out hormones combined with my depression-fueled over eating has caused me to pack on a good 10 pounds. My new jeans are snug. My muffin top is harder to conceal. My face is a LOT fuller. I really and truly need to get back on track with losing weight. I still have two months to meet my resolution/weight loss goal for 2009. I'm toying with the idea of signing us up for Weight Watchers while we still have Cigna insurance. (Cigna offers a discount on Weight Watchers but on January 1st our insurance changes to Blue Cross Blue Shield.) The Monkey is on board for it as long as we don't, you know, fork out the money and then diet for a week or two and quit. Perhaps I'll do some research today in between loads of laundry.
I haven't cooked supper in weeks. So yesterday I went and picked up all of the ingredients to make Philly Cheese Steaks and Tater Tots. We'll see if my Yankee blood shines through.
For the past two weeks The Monkey has had to scrounge for work clothes. I did wash and dry all of the clothes last weekend but I didn't really fold them. And I certainly didn't put anything away (who could be bothered??). So my poor Monkey has had to deal with ironing this week. (Normally he can toss his khakis and a polo into the dryer for a few minutes to "dewrinkle" them.) And searching through heaps of clothes for two matching socks and clean underwear.
Guilt, guilt, guilt.
And so today, the guilt has overtaken the depression momentarily. I've decided that today, I will finish the laundry if it kills me. I will scoop the litter boxes. I will vaccuum and take out the trash. I draw the line at making the bed, though. Pshaw. (And I did remember to feed and water the cats this morning; just so we're clear that I'm not starving my furbabies to death.)
In the mean time, I am babysitting my niece. It's kind of incredible that she is already turning TWO this month. She's a good girl (albeit very spoiled and sometimes rotten). I have to bribe her to get kisses and sometimes she is flat out mean to me for no reason at all. But I guess that's just a toddler for you. My oldest niece was the same way at this age. My nephews, on the other hand, were always loveable to me. So it must be a girl thing.
My whacked out hormones combined with my depression-fueled over eating has caused me to pack on a good 10 pounds. My new jeans are snug. My muffin top is harder to conceal. My face is a LOT fuller. I really and truly need to get back on track with losing weight. I still have two months to meet my resolution/weight loss goal for 2009. I'm toying with the idea of signing us up for Weight Watchers while we still have Cigna insurance. (Cigna offers a discount on Weight Watchers but on January 1st our insurance changes to Blue Cross Blue Shield.) The Monkey is on board for it as long as we don't, you know, fork out the money and then diet for a week or two and quit. Perhaps I'll do some research today in between loads of laundry.
I haven't cooked supper in weeks. So yesterday I went and picked up all of the ingredients to make Philly Cheese Steaks and Tater Tots. We'll see if my Yankee blood shines through.
Friday, July 31, 2009
the good, the bad, and the beautified
It has been a HECTIC week. A week full of uncertainty and potential disaster.
It started last Friday evening when The Monkey came home from work doubled over. Kidney stone. It required a visit to the ER, copious IV painkillers, a CT scan, and labs. The stone was only 1 - 2mm in diameter so they sent him home all doped up and told him to come back if the excruciating pain returned and to follow up with a urologist. If/when he passed the stone, he did so without knowing it because he stopped straining his urine on Monday when he went back to work. But he hasn't had any further pain so we're confident that everything is okay. He still needs to see a urologist, though. He was on a medication called Urocit a couple of years ago to help prevent stone formation. We've been together for six years. This is the fourth stone he's had in that time. Poor guy!
So Friday night was boring. He was completely zonked and wound up falling asleep during the movie we tried to watch.
Saturday we got up early to get the house nice and tidy for my sister's return. I wanted to vacuum and straighten up and make sure the bathroom and everything was nice and clean. The Monkey was in a little bit of pain so he decided to go to Walgreens and fill his prescriptions (one for Flomax and one for Lortab 10). When he got back he told me that he couldn't get my car to start. WTF?! So I called my dad and he came over and gave my silver bullet a once over. He couldn't find the problem. He said it was most likely the camshaft sensor or the main computer. (The engine was turning over but it wouldn't start.) I was HIGHLY frazzled. Thankful, of course, that we have two vehicles and we'd still have transportation, but UPSET nonetheless. On Sunday we had dinner with my parents and my dad told me to go to AutoZone on Monday and get them to print out a diagram and instructions on how to remove/replace the camshaft sensor. Since The Monkey has an engine identical to mine, we could swap his and see if that was, indeed, the issue.
Thankfully it didn't even go that far. Upon much Googling, I discovered a message board for Alero owners. Someone had posted the same exact problem that I was having. Four of the five replies told the original poster to check their passlock. The passlock is an anti-theft device. When you put your key in the ignition, magnets align in a certain way and, provided it is the correct key and forms the correct alignment, the ignition switch sends a message to the onboard computer which then sends a message to your engine that says "fire fuel injectors". If someone tries to steal the car the passlock mechanism tells the computer to NOT tell the engine to fire the fuel injectors. No fuel, no start. And once the mechanism is tripped, the car won't start no matter how many times you try. Thankfully one of the people on the message boards had a fix. They said to leave the key in the ignition with the ignition switch turned to "On" and to leave it alone for at least 10 minutes. So I did just that, keeping my fingers crossed the whole time. When I finally went back out to my car the "SECURITY" light that had been flashing was out. I pulled the key out and then put it back in and cranked my car. It started right up!! I haven't had a problem with it starting since. Hooray!
But the car drama didn't end there. On Wednesday evening The Monkey and I were driving to Walmart and my check engine light popped on. I cursed a few times then said we were going over to my dad's promptly to find out what code was making the light come on. P0455, as it turns out which means there is an Evaporation Emissions Control System leak. In parantheses it said "Gross Leak" and I was prepared for the worst. Thankfully, once again, the issue didn't seem to be anything serious at all. My owner's manual said to delete the error code and tighten the gas cap. If the light came back on, there was a problem (which may be no more serious than needing a new gas cap). If it didn't come back on (which it hasn't) then it was most likely due to the gas cap being loose. Another bullet dodged.
But, alas, the car drama still doesn't end there! Yesterday I drove out to Birmingham for my RE appointment (more on that in a moment). It was a hellatious drive and one that I haven't made in a long time. It probably wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for all the road work. I hit some form or another on every major highway. I hit it twice on I-65 -- once in Montgomery and then again on the outskirts of Birmingham. Anyway, the ride was mostly uneventful, just a little longer than I'm used to. The way home was rough. I was tired and I hit a couple of storms so there were a couple of times where I had to do about 35 into 70. I left Birmingham around 3:00 and I didn't get back into town until almost 7:00. (Normally this drive takes me just under three hours.) I immediately went to our local Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. When I turned into the parking lot my BRAKE warning light came on. And then, almost as quickly went back out. I pulled into a parking spot and pulled my hand brake. The light came on (as expected) and then went out when I released the brake. I thought it was a fluke until I turned into Arby's and the same thing happened. And then again when I turned onto a street in our neighborhood. And then again when I pulled into the driveway. The light didn't stay on, though. It was coming on and staying lit for 20 - 30 seconds and then going out. I immediately thought about the $650 brake job I had done a month ago. My front brakes are all brand new and my rear drums were cleaned and adjusted. The last thing I should be having problems with are my freaking brakes! Especially since I've only driven about 800 miles since they were changed and 400 of that was yesterday! Anyway, I called my dad this morning and asked him if my brake fluid could be low. He said it would absolutely cause the problem but just filling it with brake fluid wouldn't solve the underlying problem. Brake systems are self contained. You should rarely, if ever, have to add brake fluid to the resevoir. If you do, there is a leak somewhere. Just. Freaking. Fantastic. So, sure enough, when he opened the fluid resevoir it wasn't just low it was EMPTY. Like seriously BONE DRY. So my dad, after chastising me for taking my car to "amateur mechanics" instead of him, took a look at my calipers and brake lines. Sure enough, the lines were leaking. I was furious to say the least. I told my dad I was taking it back to Expert Tire so they could fix the issue. It was, after all, an issue THEY caused. I've never had this problem before they did the brake job. My dad was afraid that they would call me a silly girl and tell me that the moisture I saw was simply due to the roads being wet from all the rain (nevermind the fact that the lines were perfectly dry except where the connections were) so he called them up before sending me over. They had me in and out in a half hour. Something about a bad O-ring, which they replaced. Nevertheless, I plan to keep an eye on my brake fluid levels. If it starts to go down, I'll be taking it back again. Only THIS time, I'll be bringing my dad, a veteran Army mechanic, along with me. :P
I have to say that my day started off pretty well, though. At my appointment yesterday they drew labs and then I had my annual exam. This morning they called back with the results which are as follows:
I started my Synthroid today. The effects on my appetite were incredible. I had to force myself to eat lunch. I have to take it on an empty stomach and am not supposed to eat for at least a half hour afterwards. I wound up being so caught up in getting ready for my busy day that it was nearly 11:00 before I ate anything. I started to feel woozy and scarfed down a sandwich. But every time I thought about eating a bagel or something it just didn't sound appealing. Which is really different since that's what I've been having for breakfast for a couple of weeks now. A cinnamon bagel with cinnamon swirl cream cheese. Or a blueberry bagel with strawberry and cheesecake flavored cream cheese. [drool] I was pretty ravenous at dinner time so I need to make a point about eating smaller meals throughout the day. AF made a rather timely appearance and I'll be starting my birth control pills (Desogen) tonight as well. I'm really hoping this combo of meds will help make losing weight that much easier. My RE and the nurses were all astounded by my weight loss. I've lost 30 pounds since the beginning of the year. I had to make sure and emphasize that I'd gained about 40 pounds in 2008. :P Still, it was nice to get the pats on the back for my efforts and encouragement to keep going. I also found out that my sister's scale is DEAD ON accurate. I weighed myself before I left (being sure to have my clothes on) and I weighed the same amount at the doctor's office.
Today I had a semi-busy day. I had to go to the DMV to register our cars. Today was the last day to do it without the $15 per vehicle penalty. The line was pretty long but the wait wasn't bad at all. Unfortunately, I wish I'd driven out to Dale county to reregister them instead of doing it in Coffee because we wound up having to pay an extra $25 for city tax or something. I could've saved money even though I would've had to drive 28 miles. [shrug] It's just as well, though. Then I took my car to Expert Tire. And then I headed to my stylist to have my hair done. Which, I must say, turned out positively fabulous as usual!
A view from the front.
A view from the back to show the contrasting colors of the top layers vs. the bottom layers.
It's a bit different from the colors I did in March. The bottom layers are the same dark, almost black brown. But the top is much more red than it was in March. Which means it won't fade out quite as nicely but that's okay. Now I'm all set up for portraits when we go up north!
We are leaving here at midnight on the 3rd (well, technically, the 4th). The drive is going to take an estimated 17 hours. I'm wishing I could get a hold of a really GOOD radar detector to cut down our travel time, though. I need to procure a car charger for my iPod so I have some form of entertainment. Reading is out of the question as I get motion sickness quite easily. I wish we could take my sister's Suburban because it's fully loaded, DVD player and TV included. But we won't all fit so we're taking my mom's Trailblazer instead. Only three more days to go! I'm very excited to see everyone! Even if I didn't quite meet my weight loss goal.
And now to go lie down and relax and hopefully pass out after my full day.
It started last Friday evening when The Monkey came home from work doubled over. Kidney stone. It required a visit to the ER, copious IV painkillers, a CT scan, and labs. The stone was only 1 - 2mm in diameter so they sent him home all doped up and told him to come back if the excruciating pain returned and to follow up with a urologist. If/when he passed the stone, he did so without knowing it because he stopped straining his urine on Monday when he went back to work. But he hasn't had any further pain so we're confident that everything is okay. He still needs to see a urologist, though. He was on a medication called Urocit a couple of years ago to help prevent stone formation. We've been together for six years. This is the fourth stone he's had in that time. Poor guy!
So Friday night was boring. He was completely zonked and wound up falling asleep during the movie we tried to watch.
Saturday we got up early to get the house nice and tidy for my sister's return. I wanted to vacuum and straighten up and make sure the bathroom and everything was nice and clean. The Monkey was in a little bit of pain so he decided to go to Walgreens and fill his prescriptions (one for Flomax and one for Lortab 10). When he got back he told me that he couldn't get my car to start. WTF?! So I called my dad and he came over and gave my silver bullet a once over. He couldn't find the problem. He said it was most likely the camshaft sensor or the main computer. (The engine was turning over but it wouldn't start.) I was HIGHLY frazzled. Thankful, of course, that we have two vehicles and we'd still have transportation, but UPSET nonetheless. On Sunday we had dinner with my parents and my dad told me to go to AutoZone on Monday and get them to print out a diagram and instructions on how to remove/replace the camshaft sensor. Since The Monkey has an engine identical to mine, we could swap his and see if that was, indeed, the issue.
Thankfully it didn't even go that far. Upon much Googling, I discovered a message board for Alero owners. Someone had posted the same exact problem that I was having. Four of the five replies told the original poster to check their passlock. The passlock is an anti-theft device. When you put your key in the ignition, magnets align in a certain way and, provided it is the correct key and forms the correct alignment, the ignition switch sends a message to the onboard computer which then sends a message to your engine that says "fire fuel injectors". If someone tries to steal the car the passlock mechanism tells the computer to NOT tell the engine to fire the fuel injectors. No fuel, no start. And once the mechanism is tripped, the car won't start no matter how many times you try. Thankfully one of the people on the message boards had a fix. They said to leave the key in the ignition with the ignition switch turned to "On" and to leave it alone for at least 10 minutes. So I did just that, keeping my fingers crossed the whole time. When I finally went back out to my car the "SECURITY" light that had been flashing was out. I pulled the key out and then put it back in and cranked my car. It started right up!! I haven't had a problem with it starting since. Hooray!
But the car drama didn't end there. On Wednesday evening The Monkey and I were driving to Walmart and my check engine light popped on. I cursed a few times then said we were going over to my dad's promptly to find out what code was making the light come on. P0455, as it turns out which means there is an Evaporation Emissions Control System leak. In parantheses it said "Gross Leak" and I was prepared for the worst. Thankfully, once again, the issue didn't seem to be anything serious at all. My owner's manual said to delete the error code and tighten the gas cap. If the light came back on, there was a problem (which may be no more serious than needing a new gas cap). If it didn't come back on (which it hasn't) then it was most likely due to the gas cap being loose. Another bullet dodged.
But, alas, the car drama still doesn't end there! Yesterday I drove out to Birmingham for my RE appointment (more on that in a moment). It was a hellatious drive and one that I haven't made in a long time. It probably wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for all the road work. I hit some form or another on every major highway. I hit it twice on I-65 -- once in Montgomery and then again on the outskirts of Birmingham. Anyway, the ride was mostly uneventful, just a little longer than I'm used to. The way home was rough. I was tired and I hit a couple of storms so there were a couple of times where I had to do about 35 into 70. I left Birmingham around 3:00 and I didn't get back into town until almost 7:00. (Normally this drive takes me just under three hours.) I immediately went to our local Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. When I turned into the parking lot my BRAKE warning light came on. And then, almost as quickly went back out. I pulled into a parking spot and pulled my hand brake. The light came on (as expected) and then went out when I released the brake. I thought it was a fluke until I turned into Arby's and the same thing happened. And then again when I turned onto a street in our neighborhood. And then again when I pulled into the driveway. The light didn't stay on, though. It was coming on and staying lit for 20 - 30 seconds and then going out. I immediately thought about the $650 brake job I had done a month ago. My front brakes are all brand new and my rear drums were cleaned and adjusted. The last thing I should be having problems with are my freaking brakes! Especially since I've only driven about 800 miles since they were changed and 400 of that was yesterday! Anyway, I called my dad this morning and asked him if my brake fluid could be low. He said it would absolutely cause the problem but just filling it with brake fluid wouldn't solve the underlying problem. Brake systems are self contained. You should rarely, if ever, have to add brake fluid to the resevoir. If you do, there is a leak somewhere. Just. Freaking. Fantastic. So, sure enough, when he opened the fluid resevoir it wasn't just low it was EMPTY. Like seriously BONE DRY. So my dad, after chastising me for taking my car to "amateur mechanics" instead of him, took a look at my calipers and brake lines. Sure enough, the lines were leaking. I was furious to say the least. I told my dad I was taking it back to Expert Tire so they could fix the issue. It was, after all, an issue THEY caused. I've never had this problem before they did the brake job. My dad was afraid that they would call me a silly girl and tell me that the moisture I saw was simply due to the roads being wet from all the rain (nevermind the fact that the lines were perfectly dry except where the connections were) so he called them up before sending me over. They had me in and out in a half hour. Something about a bad O-ring, which they replaced. Nevertheless, I plan to keep an eye on my brake fluid levels. If it starts to go down, I'll be taking it back again. Only THIS time, I'll be bringing my dad, a veteran Army mechanic, along with me. :P
I have to say that my day started off pretty well, though. At my appointment yesterday they drew labs and then I had my annual exam. This morning they called back with the results which are as follows:
- TSH was above three. They like to see it below three and told me to keep taking the 50mcg of Synthroid as directed.
- Cholesterol was normal! A big shocker since PCOSers are predisposed to high cholesterol and I'm not exactly the ideal build.
- CBC showed that my iron count was low. It should be 11.5 or higher and mine was 10.3. They stared me on iron supplements. I am not looking forward to the constipation.
- My pap cultures all came back normal. Hooray again!
- Last, but not least, my fasting insulin was an astounding 5.3!! My jaw hit the floor when she said that. I was totally prepared for it to be much higher than that! For reference sake, when I was first diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance in 2006 my level was above 24. After my first month on metformin it dropped to 12. In two subsequent labs it was 10 and then later on 14. So it has NEVER been this low! She said it was an excellent level. I am not sure how skewed this result might be. Your supposed to be fasting for 8 - 12 hours before they draw blood. I didn't have anything to eat after 8:00 PM on the 29th and they didn't draw the blood for the labs until 1:00 PM on the 30th. Even still, I imagine it couldn't have been too much higher. I'm to continue taking 1500mg of metformin daily. I specifically asked for the immediate release instead of the extended release which they had no problem with.
I started my Synthroid today. The effects on my appetite were incredible. I had to force myself to eat lunch. I have to take it on an empty stomach and am not supposed to eat for at least a half hour afterwards. I wound up being so caught up in getting ready for my busy day that it was nearly 11:00 before I ate anything. I started to feel woozy and scarfed down a sandwich. But every time I thought about eating a bagel or something it just didn't sound appealing. Which is really different since that's what I've been having for breakfast for a couple of weeks now. A cinnamon bagel with cinnamon swirl cream cheese. Or a blueberry bagel with strawberry and cheesecake flavored cream cheese. [drool] I was pretty ravenous at dinner time so I need to make a point about eating smaller meals throughout the day. AF made a rather timely appearance and I'll be starting my birth control pills (Desogen) tonight as well. I'm really hoping this combo of meds will help make losing weight that much easier. My RE and the nurses were all astounded by my weight loss. I've lost 30 pounds since the beginning of the year. I had to make sure and emphasize that I'd gained about 40 pounds in 2008. :P Still, it was nice to get the pats on the back for my efforts and encouragement to keep going. I also found out that my sister's scale is DEAD ON accurate. I weighed myself before I left (being sure to have my clothes on) and I weighed the same amount at the doctor's office.
Today I had a semi-busy day. I had to go to the DMV to register our cars. Today was the last day to do it without the $15 per vehicle penalty. The line was pretty long but the wait wasn't bad at all. Unfortunately, I wish I'd driven out to Dale county to reregister them instead of doing it in Coffee because we wound up having to pay an extra $25 for city tax or something. I could've saved money even though I would've had to drive 28 miles. [shrug] It's just as well, though. Then I took my car to Expert Tire. And then I headed to my stylist to have my hair done. Which, I must say, turned out positively fabulous as usual!
A view from the front.
A view from the back to show the contrasting colors of the top layers vs. the bottom layers.
It's a bit different from the colors I did in March. The bottom layers are the same dark, almost black brown. But the top is much more red than it was in March. Which means it won't fade out quite as nicely but that's okay. Now I'm all set up for portraits when we go up north!
We are leaving here at midnight on the 3rd (well, technically, the 4th). The drive is going to take an estimated 17 hours. I'm wishing I could get a hold of a really GOOD radar detector to cut down our travel time, though. I need to procure a car charger for my iPod so I have some form of entertainment. Reading is out of the question as I get motion sickness quite easily. I wish we could take my sister's Suburban because it's fully loaded, DVD player and TV included. But we won't all fit so we're taking my mom's Trailblazer instead. Only three more days to go! I'm very excited to see everyone! Even if I didn't quite meet my weight loss goal.
And now to go lie down and relax and hopefully pass out after my full day.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
enjoy the silence? not so much.
My sister and the rest of the family left for Panama City Beach on Saturday. I've basically been trying to convince myself for the last week and a half that I really didn't care that I wouldn't be able to go down to the beach with them. Not even for a quick day trip. After all, PCB is so overrated, anyway. And we didn't have the money. And blah blah blahbitty blah. But, sure enough, when the house cleared out around noon on Saturday I was crestfallen. Sad, even. I guess I really wanted to see the Emerald Coast after all.
The Monkey isn't as thick as he sometimes lets on. I was sullen most of Saturday afternoon. Not even the Spongebob Spongebash marathon was cheering me up. That's when The Monkey gave me surprise, middle-of-the-afternoon-the-house-is-completely-devoid-of-lifeforms-that-don't-walk-on-all-fours-be-as-loud-as-you-want sex. Which, I'll admit, did cheer me up. But what really made my day was when he said if we had the $20 it would cost for gas that we should go ahead and make the trip down to PCB for the afternoon. At least we could get some sun and get our fill of the beach. (Not to mention SALT WATER TAFFY!)
We got up early Sunday and got to PCB by 11:00 AM. Naturally, the weather was less than cooperative. We would get hit with the 20% chance of showers. [eyeroll] But we got to swim for a couple of hours. And we hung out with my mom in my sister's condo for another hour. Then we headed to Pier Park and picked up a little over a POUND of Salt Water Taffy for yours truly and headed home. (I am ashamed to admit that the pound of taffy was gone within 48 hours. Er...maybe less.
What made the whole trip go sour for me was not the less-than-desirable weather, though. No, it was the fact that upon our return, The Monkey became ill. Fluids coming from both ends. YUK. We had a bit of a scare when his poo because the consistency of coffee grounds. Thankfully the doctor said it was nothing more than a stomach bug (even though our GP sent us to a surgeon to find this out and for several hours I was on razor's edge thinking The Monkey was going to be having an emergency colonoscopy). He was much better by Tuesday evening. His blood pressure was close to normal (130/80) and he's already dropped 10 pounds (though I'm not sure how much of that was mere fluid loss). He's perfectly fine today and back on solid food again. We had tortellini and garlic bread for supper tonight after living on soup and crackers for the past two nights.
The house is too quiet. My sister's poor dog was depressed the first two days they were gone. He barely ate and only came down from his bed upstairs to go outside. But he's been spending much more time downstairs since Tuesday. In fact, he won't leave me alone!
The week has been boooooooring. The Monkey has to work, of course, so I'm home alone all day. As tempted as I've been, I have not been sleeping until noon, though. I spent some time over at my parents' house and ran errands. At night, The Monkey and I have been enjoying oodles of DVR'd movies from the pay channels. My sister pays for Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO but they hardly ever watch movies. I also caught up on So You Think You Can Dance. (In fact, it's about time for me to go upstairs and watch yesterday's show so I can watch the results show later this evening.)
Only 12 more days until we leave for Pennsylvania. I am pretty stoked! I have lots of stuff to occupy my coming week. I need to get our cars reregistered. On the 30th I have to travel to Birmingham to see my RE. On the 31st I have a hair appointment. Then it'll be another mad dash to clean the house and pack before we depart on the 4th! I should get started on a list of what I need to bring NOW so I'm not scrambling later. If only I could figure out a way to drop these last 10 pounds by the 4th... hmmph.
The Monkey isn't as thick as he sometimes lets on. I was sullen most of Saturday afternoon. Not even the Spongebob Spongebash marathon was cheering me up. That's when The Monkey gave me surprise, middle-of-the-afternoon-the-house-is-completely-devoid-of-lifeforms-that-don't-walk-on-all-fours-be-as-loud-as-you-want sex. Which, I'll admit, did cheer me up. But what really made my day was when he said if we had the $20 it would cost for gas that we should go ahead and make the trip down to PCB for the afternoon. At least we could get some sun and get our fill of the beach. (Not to mention SALT WATER TAFFY!)
We got up early Sunday and got to PCB by 11:00 AM. Naturally, the weather was less than cooperative. We would get hit with the 20% chance of showers. [eyeroll] But we got to swim for a couple of hours. And we hung out with my mom in my sister's condo for another hour. Then we headed to Pier Park and picked up a little over a POUND of Salt Water Taffy for yours truly and headed home. (I am ashamed to admit that the pound of taffy was gone within 48 hours. Er...maybe less.
What made the whole trip go sour for me was not the less-than-desirable weather, though. No, it was the fact that upon our return, The Monkey became ill. Fluids coming from both ends. YUK. We had a bit of a scare when his poo because the consistency of coffee grounds. Thankfully the doctor said it was nothing more than a stomach bug (even though our GP sent us to a surgeon to find this out and for several hours I was on razor's edge thinking The Monkey was going to be having an emergency colonoscopy). He was much better by Tuesday evening. His blood pressure was close to normal (130/80) and he's already dropped 10 pounds (though I'm not sure how much of that was mere fluid loss). He's perfectly fine today and back on solid food again. We had tortellini and garlic bread for supper tonight after living on soup and crackers for the past two nights.
The house is too quiet. My sister's poor dog was depressed the first two days they were gone. He barely ate and only came down from his bed upstairs to go outside. But he's been spending much more time downstairs since Tuesday. In fact, he won't leave me alone!
The week has been boooooooring. The Monkey has to work, of course, so I'm home alone all day. As tempted as I've been, I have not been sleeping until noon, though. I spent some time over at my parents' house and ran errands. At night, The Monkey and I have been enjoying oodles of DVR'd movies from the pay channels. My sister pays for Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO but they hardly ever watch movies. I also caught up on So You Think You Can Dance. (In fact, it's about time for me to go upstairs and watch yesterday's show so I can watch the results show later this evening.)
Only 12 more days until we leave for Pennsylvania. I am pretty stoked! I have lots of stuff to occupy my coming week. I need to get our cars reregistered. On the 30th I have to travel to Birmingham to see my RE. On the 31st I have a hair appointment. Then it'll be another mad dash to clean the house and pack before we depart on the 4th! I should get started on a list of what I need to bring NOW so I'm not scrambling later. If only I could figure out a way to drop these last 10 pounds by the 4th... hmmph.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
just a couple more weeks
Because I didn't continue to steadily and slowly lose weight over the past month, I now have to lose five pounds a week to meet my original goal for August. Since that's obviously not going to happen I am going to lose as much as possible between now and then and hope for the best. I'm really hoping my face clears up before our trip. My mom is talking about portraits and I'd really rather not have to look at this face frozen in time. I have a hair appointment scheduled for the 31st. At least I'll have awesome hair.
So I was going to schedule appointments with an endocrinologist to get new prescriptions for my metformin and Sythroid. But, as it turns out, the only endocrinologist that I can see locally requires a referral from my GP before they'll see me. Then I'd have to fuss around and get records from my RE and everything else. I also wanted to get on birth control pills, preferably before left for Pennsylvania, but my OBGYN couldn't get me in until August 17th. GAAH! So I broke down and called my RE instead. They, as usual, were super nice. They said there wouldn't be a problem managing my PCOS and thyroid. So I have an appointment in Bham for the 30th. It sucks that I have to drive all that way for a 30 minute appointment but at least I'll be able to get all of my meds and my annual pap in one shot. Plus I don't have to wait. So it'll be worth it. Not to mention I won't have to worry about sitting in the waiting room at my OBGYN's office amongst all of the pregnant women. I was dreading that more than the papsmear itself.
I have nothing else exciting going on. I'm looking forward to our trip. My sister is going to the beach for a week. They leave on Saturday which leaves The Monkey and I alone for an entire week. Should be good times. I would like to take a trip down to the beach for a day but I'm not sure if I will.
I am thoroughly excited to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Friday. I'll admit to being a little bummed that we weren't able to go to the midnight premiere last night but I'll get over it. I have absolutely nothing to do today so I think I'll lounge around and try to breeze through the book one more time. I am such a nerd. :P
So I was going to schedule appointments with an endocrinologist to get new prescriptions for my metformin and Sythroid. But, as it turns out, the only endocrinologist that I can see locally requires a referral from my GP before they'll see me. Then I'd have to fuss around and get records from my RE and everything else. I also wanted to get on birth control pills, preferably before left for Pennsylvania, but my OBGYN couldn't get me in until August 17th. GAAH! So I broke down and called my RE instead. They, as usual, were super nice. They said there wouldn't be a problem managing my PCOS and thyroid. So I have an appointment in Bham for the 30th. It sucks that I have to drive all that way for a 30 minute appointment but at least I'll be able to get all of my meds and my annual pap in one shot. Plus I don't have to wait. So it'll be worth it. Not to mention I won't have to worry about sitting in the waiting room at my OBGYN's office amongst all of the pregnant women. I was dreading that more than the papsmear itself.
I have nothing else exciting going on. I'm looking forward to our trip. My sister is going to the beach for a week. They leave on Saturday which leaves The Monkey and I alone for an entire week. Should be good times. I would like to take a trip down to the beach for a day but I'm not sure if I will.
I am thoroughly excited to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Friday. I'll admit to being a little bummed that we weren't able to go to the midnight premiere last night but I'll get over it. I have absolutely nothing to do today so I think I'll lounge around and try to breeze through the book one more time. I am such a nerd. :P
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
time for damage control
For the past year The Monkey and I have been pretty careless about our health. While we were actively TTC (and both employed) being relatively conciensious about our health came easily. We did the South Beach Diet twice with much success. And, in fact, we were still on the "diet" when we both lost our jobs and moved, etc etc etc. (I don't need lectures -- I know we were stupid.)
The Monkey actually does pretty well with his weight. Or, he used to. Over the course of a year I noticed some weight gain. But who am I to bring up such things when I had also gained weight. (In fact, there were months at a time when I moaned and groaned at the scale because my darling, wonderful husband weighed LESS than I did.) When The Monkey quit smoking we expected him to put on some extra poundage. Not to mention he wasn't very active because walking causes him a pretty good amount of pain. And yet, I allowed him to eat whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. It was bound to catch up with him, I suppose.
For the past month or so I noticed a trend. Instead of sleeping through the night, The Monkey was going to bed around 10:30 - 11:00 then, almost like clockwork, getting up at 2:00-ish to pee. He's never had this problem before so, like a good wife, I immediately made him an appointment for a physical. I was expecting bloodwork and other routine stuff, to include a prostate exam. (Let's face it, The Monkey ain't getting any younger. :P) What I wasn't expecting was to see the scale tip as far as it did (he's put on 25 pounds in the four months he's been a non-smoker) and I was terrified when the nurse said his blood pressure was 140/100. So, our GP put him on Zestoretic for his blood pressure and he's going in tomorrow for labs. They're testing his cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid, etc. And they're going to test for something regarding his prostate.
I feel like a bad wife for allowing him to continue his unhealthy lifestyle. He already has sleep apnea which increases his chance for heart attack and stroke by so-many-fold that it's terrifying. His weight increase is exacerbating the apnea and, of course, not helping his blood pressure or cholesterol, I am certain. So, instead of being proactive I have to do damage control. [sigh]
Of course, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. (The fact that we HAVE to pay close attention to our health, not the fact that things are not going well.) I'm going to see if I can find a place for us to swim. That's the only exercise I can see him taking to because it won't hurt. We'll be taking things one step at a time. First and foremost is our diet and his blood pressure/cholesterol. Once those are under control and he's doing better in that respect, I'll see about making him another appointment to see about a CPAP machine. Eventually we'll see about getting him into a back specialist to see what can be done about his sciatica. (Of course, we could get reeeeeeeeally lucky and have that become a non-issue once he loses weight.)
In the mean time I am forced to be the worry-wart that I am. I am also tasked with making meals that reflect a healthy and well-balanced diet. If anyone has suggestions on recipes or some type of meal planner, by all means!
The Monkey actually does pretty well with his weight. Or, he used to. Over the course of a year I noticed some weight gain. But who am I to bring up such things when I had also gained weight. (In fact, there were months at a time when I moaned and groaned at the scale because my darling, wonderful husband weighed LESS than I did.) When The Monkey quit smoking we expected him to put on some extra poundage. Not to mention he wasn't very active because walking causes him a pretty good amount of pain. And yet, I allowed him to eat whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. It was bound to catch up with him, I suppose.
For the past month or so I noticed a trend. Instead of sleeping through the night, The Monkey was going to bed around 10:30 - 11:00 then, almost like clockwork, getting up at 2:00-ish to pee. He's never had this problem before so, like a good wife, I immediately made him an appointment for a physical. I was expecting bloodwork and other routine stuff, to include a prostate exam. (Let's face it, The Monkey ain't getting any younger. :P) What I wasn't expecting was to see the scale tip as far as it did (he's put on 25 pounds in the four months he's been a non-smoker) and I was terrified when the nurse said his blood pressure was 140/100. So, our GP put him on Zestoretic for his blood pressure and he's going in tomorrow for labs. They're testing his cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid, etc. And they're going to test for something regarding his prostate.
I feel like a bad wife for allowing him to continue his unhealthy lifestyle. He already has sleep apnea which increases his chance for heart attack and stroke by so-many-fold that it's terrifying. His weight increase is exacerbating the apnea and, of course, not helping his blood pressure or cholesterol, I am certain. So, instead of being proactive I have to do damage control. [sigh]
Of course, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. (The fact that we HAVE to pay close attention to our health, not the fact that things are not going well.) I'm going to see if I can find a place for us to swim. That's the only exercise I can see him taking to because it won't hurt. We'll be taking things one step at a time. First and foremost is our diet and his blood pressure/cholesterol. Once those are under control and he's doing better in that respect, I'll see about making him another appointment to see about a CPAP machine. Eventually we'll see about getting him into a back specialist to see what can be done about his sciatica. (Of course, we could get reeeeeeeeally lucky and have that become a non-issue once he loses weight.)
In the mean time I am forced to be the worry-wart that I am. I am also tasked with making meals that reflect a healthy and well-balanced diet. If anyone has suggestions on recipes or some type of meal planner, by all means!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
galloping triplets (and cheese that isn't yours)
Once a month the call center does something called "Wacky Wednesday" for the employees. I guess something to boost morale and keep things light and fun. The Monkey never really gets into it much. For Pirate Day he wore a bandana on his head and a big hoop earing. But that was about it. Each month a different supervisor is in charge of planning and executing the festivities. This week it was Banana's (The Monkey's supervisor) turn. Her theme was "Rock & Roll Day" and she asked The Monkey and I to help her out with some of the activities. She needed trivia questions and she planned on bringing in Guitar Hero: World Tour to give the employees some friendly competition. They also do a potluck lunch. The Monkey agreed to bring tortilla chips and nacho cheese dip. (Hey...what do you call cheese that isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE, of course! [dies laughing])
So while The Monkey boned up his Guitar Hero skills last night (ehem...as if he really needed it), I scoured the Internet for 40 rock and roll trivia questions. I have to admit that it was a lot of fun. I found a really cool website that was full of music trivia and mostly used questions from it. Some I came up with on my own, though.
After I dropped off the crockpot FULL of nacho cheese dip, I stopped by to see my mom for a few. She was lounging around in her PJs for her day off. I munched on some leftover cucumber salad and a little bit of potato salad, too. I was pretty thrilled this morning when I stepped on the scale and it said 218! Holy crap! I haven't been eating the best for the past few days so I was expecting to have gained a few pounds, not lost! SWEET! I really do need to get into exercising daily, though. I'm still considering 10 Minute Trainer. Or possibly The Biggest Loser DVDs. We shall see.
Only a few more days before The Monkey is officially a Verizon employee! I'm VERY excited and so is he!
In other news, I am still having trouble with my stupid elbow. Now, instead of being sharp pain, it's a dull ache. It's really noticable when I try to lift things and at night when I'm trying to sleep. I should probably take Ibuprofen daily but I hate taking NSAIDs like that. Because they're so bad for your stomach and can be dangerous for your heart.
I saw my new therapist yesterday. The 'therapy' they give is not really therapy, though. It's more like a pdoc appointment except it's not with a pdoc. Then when I go see the pdoc my appointments last all of five minutes and only go over med changes/refills, etc. I'll be SO glad to switch to a new pdoc and therapist. Although I will miss the $5 prescriptions at SCAMH.
Now I am going to go lounge and read Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince for a while. I'm getting ready for the movie in July! VERY excited about it!
So while The Monkey boned up his Guitar Hero skills last night (ehem...as if he really needed it), I scoured the Internet for 40 rock and roll trivia questions. I have to admit that it was a lot of fun. I found a really cool website that was full of music trivia and mostly used questions from it. Some I came up with on my own, though.
After I dropped off the crockpot FULL of nacho cheese dip, I stopped by to see my mom for a few. She was lounging around in her PJs for her day off. I munched on some leftover cucumber salad and a little bit of potato salad, too. I was pretty thrilled this morning when I stepped on the scale and it said 218! Holy crap! I haven't been eating the best for the past few days so I was expecting to have gained a few pounds, not lost! SWEET! I really do need to get into exercising daily, though. I'm still considering 10 Minute Trainer. Or possibly The Biggest Loser DVDs. We shall see.
Only a few more days before The Monkey is officially a Verizon employee! I'm VERY excited and so is he!
In other news, I am still having trouble with my stupid elbow. Now, instead of being sharp pain, it's a dull ache. It's really noticable when I try to lift things and at night when I'm trying to sleep. I should probably take Ibuprofen daily but I hate taking NSAIDs like that. Because they're so bad for your stomach and can be dangerous for your heart.
I saw my new therapist yesterday. The 'therapy' they give is not really therapy, though. It's more like a pdoc appointment except it's not with a pdoc. Then when I go see the pdoc my appointments last all of five minutes and only go over med changes/refills, etc. I'll be SO glad to switch to a new pdoc and therapist. Although I will miss the $5 prescriptions at SCAMH.
Now I am going to go lounge and read Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince for a while. I'm getting ready for the movie in July! VERY excited about it!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
[snoopy dance]
The Monkey got his offer letter today for his new job. Not only is he about to be an official Verizon Wireless employee, they offered him a $4.25 per hour raise!
This is me ecstatic. This is me [snoopy dancing] all over the place!
And, also, I lost all the weight I gained (which was, honestly, minimal) plus a couple of pounds. I'm down to 221. Only 21 more pounds to go before I reach my [first] goal. w00t w00t!!
This is me ecstatic. This is me [snoopy dancing] all over the place!
And, also, I lost all the weight I gained (which was, honestly, minimal) plus a couple of pounds. I'm down to 221. Only 21 more pounds to go before I reach my [first] goal. w00t w00t!!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
places to go, people to see
I haven't been updating lately because there's really not much to say. The Monkey changed shifts last week and is now working 7:00 AM to 4:00 PM. We are both thrilled with his new schedule as it's going to be permanent. He still has to work weekends, though. But only every third so we're not complaining. He's really enjoying his job and if only Verizon would hire him on permanently we'd be golden. Banana seems to think it'll be by the end of this month so we shall see. He's also been working overtime the past week and a half which is good for the bank account, of course. However that also means that I don't see much of The Monkey. He leaves before I get up and then he comes home and goes to bed a helluva lot earlier than he used to. But oh well. I really can't (and won't) complain.
My weight loss has stalled due to a persistent lack of exercise. I haven't walked in over a month! Shame on me. Thankfully I haven't gained any weight. I'm holding steady right at about 224. However, I need to get on the ball and lose lose lose because something fantastic has transpired and I need to lose at least 24 pounds by August.
A few days ago my oldest sister (the one in Pennsylvania) sent my sister (the one I live with) a text message. Our [biological] dad is turning 60 this August (!!) and our step-mom is throwing him a surprise 60th birthday bash. She really wants Michelle and me to attend. It would be a HUGE surprise to our dad. He hasn't seen Michelle since they moved down to Alabama and he hasn't seen me since we visited in '99 -- 10 whole years! Not to mention it'll be the first time my dad will see all four of us (my sisters, my brother, and I) together since I was four. (When I visited them in '99 my brother never came around to see us.) Michelle wants to get pictures done while we're there which we can then surprise my mom with when we come home. Needless to say, it would be HARD to top this "birthday gift" to our dad! This will also mean getting to see aunts, uncles, and cousins that I haven't seen since I was a wee one and some that I've never actually met! (Or maybe I have met them but was so young that I have no recollection of it.)
I'm pretty stoked. It'll probably mean that I won't be going down to Panama City for a weekend in July but it's a well worth it sacrifice.
In other and equally uninteresting news, I've developed a case of tennis elbow. I can barely lift a box fan because it involves gripping. Brushing my teeth hurts. I hope it passes quickly.
My weight loss has stalled due to a persistent lack of exercise. I haven't walked in over a month! Shame on me. Thankfully I haven't gained any weight. I'm holding steady right at about 224. However, I need to get on the ball and lose lose lose because something fantastic has transpired and I need to lose at least 24 pounds by August.
A few days ago my oldest sister (the one in Pennsylvania) sent my sister (the one I live with) a text message. Our [biological] dad is turning 60 this August (!!) and our step-mom is throwing him a surprise 60th birthday bash. She really wants Michelle and me to attend. It would be a HUGE surprise to our dad. He hasn't seen Michelle since they moved down to Alabama and he hasn't seen me since we visited in '99 -- 10 whole years! Not to mention it'll be the first time my dad will see all four of us (my sisters, my brother, and I) together since I was four. (When I visited them in '99 my brother never came around to see us.) Michelle wants to get pictures done while we're there which we can then surprise my mom with when we come home. Needless to say, it would be HARD to top this "birthday gift" to our dad! This will also mean getting to see aunts, uncles, and cousins that I haven't seen since I was a wee one and some that I've never actually met! (Or maybe I have met them but was so young that I have no recollection of it.)
I'm pretty stoked. It'll probably mean that I won't be going down to Panama City for a weekend in July but it's a well worth it sacrifice.
In other and equally uninteresting news, I've developed a case of tennis elbow. I can barely lift a box fan because it involves gripping. Brushing my teeth hurts. I hope it passes quickly.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
a carefully weighted update
Trucking along at a very slow speed with the weight loss thing. I've been taking the Slimquick for a few days now and I can definitely see a difference in my energy levels. Also in my water retention. Omigosh that has improved tenfold at least. I skipped weighing myself for a few days but I knew I had to have dropped a pound or two. The pair of jeans I bought less than two weeks ago are already looser around my waist. (Banana simply said they are too big. Though I beg to differ; all of my pants are, essentially, too big everywhere except the waist. I refuse to buy pants that fit me everywhere else but are too small in the waist. Some people show their muffin tops proudly. NOT THIS CHICK. Which is why I still wear an 18. I could most definitely get into a 16. I'd just rather not showcase my belly fat.)
I've been kind of stuck at 225 for most of this month. Except for the first part of this month when I crept back up the scale to about 228. So I stepped on the scale this morning, naked of course. 223.4! I felt like dancing a jig. I was in the 230s last summer. Last spring, I was, I believe, around 240. (I can only guess I was by looking at pictures of myself from last spring.) All winter I hovered at 240 until January when I started walking. Obviously, something is working.
It's slow goings, of course, thanks to having PCOS, being insulin resistant, and [most likely] having an underactive thyroid. But at least something is happening. Three point four more pounds to lose and I'll be on track to losing around five pounds a month. Which means I should be down to just at 200 pounds by summer time. I'm looking forward to my 16s fitting by then. Though I'm not sure, exactly, what pant size I am at 200 pounds. I haven't been that "small" since...hmm...early 2007? Maybe even as far back as winter 2006. [shrug] It's been a while.
The most thrilling thing of all, I think, was that I could actually get my engagement ring on. It's still a bit snug so I'm not going to start wearing it again just yet. (All it would take would be for me to put on some water weight and the sucker would probably get stuck.) But the fact that I got it on (and back off again) with minimal effort made me smile. Five or ten more pounds and I won't have to worry about it being too tight anymore. I haven't worn my engagement ring in almost a year.
There are other things going on that I should probably blog about soon. More important things, I'm sure. Perhaps another day.
I've been kind of stuck at 225 for most of this month. Except for the first part of this month when I crept back up the scale to about 228. So I stepped on the scale this morning, naked of course. 223.4! I felt like dancing a jig. I was in the 230s last summer. Last spring, I was, I believe, around 240. (I can only guess I was by looking at pictures of myself from last spring.) All winter I hovered at 240 until January when I started walking. Obviously, something is working.
It's slow goings, of course, thanks to having PCOS, being insulin resistant, and [most likely] having an underactive thyroid. But at least something is happening. Three point four more pounds to lose and I'll be on track to losing around five pounds a month. Which means I should be down to just at 200 pounds by summer time. I'm looking forward to my 16s fitting by then. Though I'm not sure, exactly, what pant size I am at 200 pounds. I haven't been that "small" since...hmm...early 2007? Maybe even as far back as winter 2006. [shrug] It's been a while.
The most thrilling thing of all, I think, was that I could actually get my engagement ring on. It's still a bit snug so I'm not going to start wearing it again just yet. (All it would take would be for me to put on some water weight and the sucker would probably get stuck.) But the fact that I got it on (and back off again) with minimal effort made me smile. Five or ten more pounds and I won't have to worry about it being too tight anymore. I haven't worn my engagement ring in almost a year.
There are other things going on that I should probably blog about soon. More important things, I'm sure. Perhaps another day.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
hills and hurdles and humps ... oh my!
I have to overcome quite a bit on my journey to becoming thin again. There's the PCOS for one. The mild hypothyroidism (that is currently not being treated). Being generally malaise sometimes simply from being so overweight. Headaches. Moodswings that sometimes make me want to run five miles and sometimes make me want to hide under the bed. Sometimes I simply lack the energy to do much of anything.
Also - poor impulse control and a very hefty appetite. And a sometimes insanity-inducing craving for sugar/sweets that is beyond just poor impulse control. If I don't get sweets NOW DAMNIT I will hurt someone.
So I've tried diet pills/supplements in the past. The success rate was hit and miss at best. When I first got back to the US I was using a supplement duo that my mom didn't like called Slim FX or something to that effect. It was two supplements - one for the AM and one for night time - plus it had a meal replacement shake and some other things. Combine that with a ravaging ED and I went from being roughly 170 lbs when I arrived to the US to being, for the first time in my LIFE, under 150. Of course, this diet pill was way back before the US banned Ephedra. I'm certain that my unhealthy eating habits (I practically lived on string cheese and apples) combined with the power of the Ephedra is what made the "diet" so successful. (Well, I also ate a lot of thermogenic vegetables as the diet suggested. You know, vegetables that effectively have negative calories - it takes more calories to process the food than what the food is actually worth.)
Thankfully, I've given up on the days of counting every.single.calorie and eating so little an amount that people worry. Unfortunately now I am at the other end of the spectrum. I can't seem to quell my ENORMOUS appetite.
So I'm going to delve back into the world of diet supplements and see what happens. I picked SlimQuick because it boasts being a "weight loss supplement for women". Plus, I checked out the ingredients and, honestly, it's not bad. The only thing that made me crinkle my nose a little was the soy isoflavones. But the amount is pretty miniscule so I'm not worried. But it has Vitex, folic acid and other B-vitamins along with some other ingredients known for the diruetic qualities. Plus I read a lot of reviews on the stuff and, quite frankly, I was impressed. The first week is spent on the 'detox' supplement which is full of glucomannon and some other well-known ingredients that are good for digestion, et al. We'll see how it goes. A lot of people said how amazed they were at how much energy the stuff gave them and how much it decreased their appetite. So here's hoping!
In the mean time, I will continue my walking regimen and contemplate adding some kind of resistance training. I'm not exactly sure what to do about my diet. I am going to try to drink more Special K Protein Water (and more water in general) when I'm hungry or craving. I should probably also start my day with some scrambled eggs and a glass of Spicy V8 instead of a bowl of carb-laden cereal (or worse, Eggo Waffles). I just have to start getting back to my old [good] habits.
To stay on track with my goal of getting down to 200 lbs (or less) by summer I need to lose this last stubborn five pounds by month's end.
Also - poor impulse control and a very hefty appetite. And a sometimes insanity-inducing craving for sugar/sweets that is beyond just poor impulse control. If I don't get sweets NOW DAMNIT I will hurt someone.
So I've tried diet pills/supplements in the past. The success rate was hit and miss at best. When I first got back to the US I was using a supplement duo that my mom didn't like called Slim FX or something to that effect. It was two supplements - one for the AM and one for night time - plus it had a meal replacement shake and some other things. Combine that with a ravaging ED and I went from being roughly 170 lbs when I arrived to the US to being, for the first time in my LIFE, under 150. Of course, this diet pill was way back before the US banned Ephedra. I'm certain that my unhealthy eating habits (I practically lived on string cheese and apples) combined with the power of the Ephedra is what made the "diet" so successful. (Well, I also ate a lot of thermogenic vegetables as the diet suggested. You know, vegetables that effectively have negative calories - it takes more calories to process the food than what the food is actually worth.)
Thankfully, I've given up on the days of counting every.single.calorie and eating so little an amount that people worry. Unfortunately now I am at the other end of the spectrum. I can't seem to quell my ENORMOUS appetite.
So I'm going to delve back into the world of diet supplements and see what happens. I picked SlimQuick because it boasts being a "weight loss supplement for women". Plus, I checked out the ingredients and, honestly, it's not bad. The only thing that made me crinkle my nose a little was the soy isoflavones. But the amount is pretty miniscule so I'm not worried. But it has Vitex, folic acid and other B-vitamins along with some other ingredients known for the diruetic qualities. Plus I read a lot of reviews on the stuff and, quite frankly, I was impressed. The first week is spent on the 'detox' supplement which is full of glucomannon and some other well-known ingredients that are good for digestion, et al. We'll see how it goes. A lot of people said how amazed they were at how much energy the stuff gave them and how much it decreased their appetite. So here's hoping!
In the mean time, I will continue my walking regimen and contemplate adding some kind of resistance training. I'm not exactly sure what to do about my diet. I am going to try to drink more Special K Protein Water (and more water in general) when I'm hungry or craving. I should probably also start my day with some scrambled eggs and a glass of Spicy V8 instead of a bowl of carb-laden cereal (or worse, Eggo Waffles). I just have to start getting back to my old [good] habits.
To stay on track with my goal of getting down to 200 lbs (or less) by summer I need to lose this last stubborn five pounds by month's end.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
the little Lissa that could...
Who knows how long it's going to take for me to lose weight. To get back down to a comfortable size 10. (A size eight wouldn't be bad, either.)
After being so dedicated for the first month I started walking, I started slipping up. Skipping a day here and there. Once skipping an entire week. (Depression.) Last night I got to thinking about summer, though. I mean, here it is, already March. The year is nearly one-fourth over already. It's time to up the ante; increase the stakes.
I've set my sights on a goal that even Banana says should be attainable and isn't overly ambitious. 200 pounds. By July. That's four months for a measley 25 pounds. (Because I've lost about 14 since the first of the year.)
This goal is still WAAAAAY far away from my size 10s but maybe I will be back into my size 16s comfortably. Maybe I'll be able to wear some of the Bermuda shorts I bought two summers ago comfortably again. Maybe I'll be a little more satisfied with myself in a swimsuit when it comes time to spend a weekend in Panama City this year.
Banana recently procured a much deserved and long-overdue promotion to supervisor. The position is salaried so she no longer has to worry about being a few minutes late from time to time. She'll be working more hours so it's going to balance out. In light of this we've started tackling (well, okay, I've started tackling) four laps vs. the three we'd been doing. So now I'm up to four miles in the afternoons. But it doesn't seem like quite enough. The weight is still being stubborn and is coming off slowly. I'm not looking for a dramatic change like five pounds in a week. Just a mere pound a week is all I ask. And I'll meet my short term goal of 200 pounds by summer time. To, perhaps, give my metabolism the swift kick in the ass that it needs, I'm going to start walking two more miles at night. By myself. Alone with my thoughts. And my iPod. Where this used to sound exhausting and generally uneasy, I'm finding myself looking forward to the challenge. I picked a route that won't absolutely kill my legs/feet/ankles. No steep hills or anything like that. Just a nice one mile route that I can walk twice at night. It'd be nice to get my sister to do it with me but I'm not counting on it.
I have to do this for me. I'm out of excuses. I can't use twisted logic and flawed reason to get out of it anymore.
This weight has GOT to go.
After being so dedicated for the first month I started walking, I started slipping up. Skipping a day here and there. Once skipping an entire week. (Depression.) Last night I got to thinking about summer, though. I mean, here it is, already March. The year is nearly one-fourth over already. It's time to up the ante; increase the stakes.
I've set my sights on a goal that even Banana says should be attainable and isn't overly ambitious. 200 pounds. By July. That's four months for a measley 25 pounds. (Because I've lost about 14 since the first of the year.)
This goal is still WAAAAAY far away from my size 10s but maybe I will be back into my size 16s comfortably. Maybe I'll be able to wear some of the Bermuda shorts I bought two summers ago comfortably again. Maybe I'll be a little more satisfied with myself in a swimsuit when it comes time to spend a weekend in Panama City this year.
Banana recently procured a much deserved and long-overdue promotion to supervisor. The position is salaried so she no longer has to worry about being a few minutes late from time to time. She'll be working more hours so it's going to balance out. In light of this we've started tackling (well, okay, I've started tackling) four laps vs. the three we'd been doing. So now I'm up to four miles in the afternoons. But it doesn't seem like quite enough. The weight is still being stubborn and is coming off slowly. I'm not looking for a dramatic change like five pounds in a week. Just a mere pound a week is all I ask. And I'll meet my short term goal of 200 pounds by summer time. To, perhaps, give my metabolism the swift kick in the ass that it needs, I'm going to start walking two more miles at night. By myself. Alone with my thoughts. And my iPod. Where this used to sound exhausting and generally uneasy, I'm finding myself looking forward to the challenge. I picked a route that won't absolutely kill my legs/feet/ankles. No steep hills or anything like that. Just a nice one mile route that I can walk twice at night. It'd be nice to get my sister to do it with me but I'm not counting on it.
I have to do this for me. I'm out of excuses. I can't use twisted logic and flawed reason to get out of it anymore.
This weight has GOT to go.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I need a mantra or something...
I slept for crap last night in spite of taking a Lunesta. I definitely think Ambien works better. So getting up at 7:00 to take my cousins to school did NOT a happy, cheerful Lissa make. I'm grumpy and I would much like to go home and go back to bed. But I'm making myself stay awake in hopes that I will crash at a normal time this evening. We shall see.
In addition, I am having a very difficult time getting myself motivated/pumped to go walking at 12:00. I would much rather go home, get a shower, and spend the next two hours playing with my makeup. So I need a mantra or something to get my flabby ass motivated. I guess it's because I haven't walked since Thursday. (And yet, somehow, my ankles still hurt.)
It's a blustery kind of day. Overcast and windy with the threat of a thunderstorm or two lingering menacingly on the horizon. The temperature is perfect, though. In the mid-60s with a cooling breeze. I'm so not ready for Spring.
In addition, I am having a very difficult time getting myself motivated/pumped to go walking at 12:00. I would much rather go home, get a shower, and spend the next two hours playing with my makeup. So I need a mantra or something to get my flabby ass motivated. I guess it's because I haven't walked since Thursday. (And yet, somehow, my ankles still hurt.)
It's a blustery kind of day. Overcast and windy with the threat of a thunderstorm or two lingering menacingly on the horizon. The temperature is perfect, though. In the mid-60s with a cooling breeze. I'm so not ready for Spring.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
techno-geek in the making
Since our current wireless provider was bought out by Verizon, we had to switch over our existing phones and wireless plans to Verizon in order to remain 'compatible' with the network. I've been looking forward to the switch for ages! The other day The Monkey and I went to the store and talked about getting everything switched and picked out our phones. I was going to go with the NV2 at first but then I saw the Dare (touch screen!) and was all wide-eyed like a kid in a candy store. They let me fool around with the Dare for a few minutes so I tried to type a quick text message on the touch screen keyboard. 'Hello' came out 'Heklo' so I 86'd that decision. The Voyager, however, is a hybrid of the NV2 and the Dare. It has the front touch screen but flips up to reveal a full QWERTY keyboard to use for texting, email, etc etc. So The Monkey and I both got one. So I bid my Motorola V3i Razr farewell and gave it to my niece as a means of entertainment. She is absolutely enthralled. I'm melting from cuteness overload!
I have been doing very well with my exercise. I've walked three miles every day for almost two weeks and I have no intention of quitting. We're actually close to walking four miles instead of three. I think we'll pick up the pace next week. My clothes already feel more comfortable and I've lost four pounds that I am confident is not just water weight. I hate that weight comes off of me so slowly but at least it is coming off. Oh, and my calves feel quite a bit 'bulkier' than they did a few weeks ago but I noticed it right after we were done walking so it may have been a fluke. I need to work in some strength training at some point. I'm contemplating Yoga or Pilates. I really wish we had Wii Fitness! :P
Also, our newest edition came home from the vet yesterday. She is recovering from her surgery well. My sister has a monsterous kennel for her dog (Hungarian lab) that she's letting us use. We put a fluffy blanket in the bottom and a smallish litter box for her paper litter. Even with the box in there she has plenty of room. She is resting comfortably but looks pretty pitiful. Poor baby! We'll let her out of the kennel tomorrow. I just want her to get the hang of using the paper litter before we do. I'm so glad the surgery is over with. No more being jolted awake at 3:00 AM by incessant caterwauling. Yesterday I gave her some tuna as a 'peace' offering. She purrs every time I sit and pet her so she must be doing just fine. The other cats are a bit perturbed by her condition, though. I assured them that we babied them just as much when they got fixed. Silly fe-lions.
I have been doing very well with my exercise. I've walked three miles every day for almost two weeks and I have no intention of quitting. We're actually close to walking four miles instead of three. I think we'll pick up the pace next week. My clothes already feel more comfortable and I've lost four pounds that I am confident is not just water weight. I hate that weight comes off of me so slowly but at least it is coming off. Oh, and my calves feel quite a bit 'bulkier' than they did a few weeks ago but I noticed it right after we were done walking so it may have been a fluke. I need to work in some strength training at some point. I'm contemplating Yoga or Pilates. I really wish we had Wii Fitness! :P
Also, our newest edition came home from the vet yesterday. She is recovering from her surgery well. My sister has a monsterous kennel for her dog (Hungarian lab) that she's letting us use. We put a fluffy blanket in the bottom and a smallish litter box for her paper litter. Even with the box in there she has plenty of room. She is resting comfortably but looks pretty pitiful. Poor baby! We'll let her out of the kennel tomorrow. I just want her to get the hang of using the paper litter before we do. I'm so glad the surgery is over with. No more being jolted awake at 3:00 AM by incessant caterwauling. Yesterday I gave her some tuna as a 'peace' offering. She purrs every time I sit and pet her so she must be doing just fine. The other cats are a bit perturbed by her condition, though. I assured them that we babied them just as much when they got fixed. Silly fe-lions.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
successes and failures
Failures:
Successes:
I will do better tomorrow.
- I woke up with a slight headache and feeling generally unmotivated; blah; exhausted.
- I left a box of Reese's Puffs cereal by the couch last night and woke up around 1:00 and was entirely too sleepy to make full use of my willpower.
- I ate more than was necessary at lunch; especially since I ate a good breakfast. (Surely the chicken salad sandwich was enough; no need for the three barbecue chicken tenders afterwards.)
- I ate dinner (albeit a 'measley' 300 calorie Healthy Choice frozen meal) at quarter to 8:00.
- I had a few pieces of candy (damn my mom for having a bowl of conversation hearts!) and one peanut butter sandwich cookie.
- I drank less than a liter of water today (but managed to drink two Pepsi Max).
- My shins are positively killing me because I have not been walking in a proper pair of shoes.
- I have ANOTHER earache!!! (That's one a month for the past four months; but who's counting?)
Successes:
- Though I didn't get up as early as I did yesterday I still got up despite wanting to stay curled up in bed. Badly.
- I walked [roughly] three miles in about 50 minutes!
- I came home from walking and realized that the headache I woke up with was no more!
- I have felt remarkably energized most of the day.
- I turned down the Hershey's White Chocolate Chips (which are positively divine) when my sister flashed them at me.
- My mom gave me a pair of walking shoes that are designed specifically for flat feet. I'm looking forward to trying them out tomorrow!
- The pain in my ear isn't severe (yet) and I have some leftover Lortab to deal with it tonight. And the heating pad seems to help, too.
I will do better tomorrow.
Monday, January 12, 2009
renewed determination
Today was The Monkey's first day of training with Verizon. I have to admit I missed him a lot. I have really enjoyed the past seven month 'vacation' together. I can't say I ever really felt like I needed a break from him. I just enjoy spending so much time together. Time apart like this is weird. The only long days we've ever spent apart we were both working. Now I find myself with this large chunk of time to occupy. I'll admit it's a little strange and part of me almost wants to go back to work. Almost. So I'll have to settle for spending more time with my sister and Madison. And, of course, I'll be walking every day from 11:00 to 12:00 with my friend, B. We walked today and it not only felt good, it was nice to just talk to somebody for an hour that I'm not related to. :-P B and I used to be very close when we were both working for Unicel. Then I got fired. We stayed very close for about the first six-ish months after and then it seems like we just sort of drifted apart. It's not really surprising to me. We have very little in common with one another. She's lost a LOT of weight in the past year and I've pretty much just gained it. So she's helping me to get motivated. I'm going to start with the afternoon walks with her and then, once I'm a little more 'conditioned' to exercise, I'm going to start walking in the evenings, too. My sister also said she is going to buy Wii Fit! So that'll be another thing to do.
I'm really determined to get this weight off. Even if I can't get down to 140 like I'd love to be, I'll settle for getting back into some of my old 14s for now. I am happy to report that I am able to get back into some jeans that I'd grown out of this summer during my [seemingly] endless depression. I took my measurements yesterday (thighs, biceps, chest, waist, and hips). I was (and wasn't) shocked that I've gained TEN whole inches since March 2003. Talk about a bitter dose of reality. In light of this news I have resolved to eat better. I can't exactly 'diet' while living with my sister. It's hard to tell the people that are letting you live with them for free that they can't eat something you bought. It seems kind of, well, rude. So I just bought stuff that I like that I know won't get eaten. Like Activia Yogurt and V8 juice and whole wheat bread. Tonight we're having chicken salad sandwiches for supper. I also tried that Special K Protein Water and found it to be quite good, actually. So I think I'll buy some of the packets so I can have a protein water when I'm feeling hungry or have the urge to snack.
Hopefully I will notice a difference in my clothes and weight in about a month. We shall see.
I'm really determined to get this weight off. Even if I can't get down to 140 like I'd love to be, I'll settle for getting back into some of my old 14s for now. I am happy to report that I am able to get back into some jeans that I'd grown out of this summer during my [seemingly] endless depression. I took my measurements yesterday (thighs, biceps, chest, waist, and hips). I was (and wasn't) shocked that I've gained TEN whole inches since March 2003. Talk about a bitter dose of reality. In light of this news I have resolved to eat better. I can't exactly 'diet' while living with my sister. It's hard to tell the people that are letting you live with them for free that they can't eat something you bought. It seems kind of, well, rude. So I just bought stuff that I like that I know won't get eaten. Like Activia Yogurt and V8 juice and whole wheat bread. Tonight we're having chicken salad sandwiches for supper. I also tried that Special K Protein Water and found it to be quite good, actually. So I think I'll buy some of the packets so I can have a protein water when I'm feeling hungry or have the urge to snack.
Hopefully I will notice a difference in my clothes and weight in about a month. We shall see.
Friday, January 9, 2009
so it goes
So far 2009 has been okay. Tolerable at least. The Monkey is employed and that is definitely a good start. However I have vowed to make this my year to get healthy and have not gotten off my lazy ass to do a single thing. But at least I have a plan in the works. The friend at Verizon (henceforth referred to as Banana) has become a bit of an exercise nut over the past year and a half. She walks somewhere between six and 10 miles a night. I would love to walk with her but she lives 30 miles from us so she's not exactly an 'ideal' walking buddy. But she does work here in town and offered to walk with me on her lunch break for at least a half hour, Monday through Friday. I agreed. While it may seem like these are plans that are easily broken I can assure you that they are most definitely not. She simply won't let me off the hook and for some reason I feel obligated to sort of prove that I can do it. I'm not going to lie -- I don't like to exercise. I don't enjoy it. I never have. I've tried all sorts of different things from step aerobics to a complex gym regimen involving cardio and weights but never found anything that held my interest. The only reason I ever got down to 145 was thanks to an eating disorder and a very active job at Outdoor Recreation. I hope that once I get started with exercising I will stay motivated to keep going this time around. I am really quite miserable in my own skin but I cannot honestly ever remember a time when I was not miserable in my own skin. Conundrum. Even still, I have to at least try to do something to get this weight off. Maybe having allowed myself to get this far gone if when I get back to a reasonable weight I won't dog myself out so damned much. (Not likely but miracles can happen, right?)
In an attempt to make myself more receptive towards a year of change I decided to color my hair. It's very close (if not identical) to my natural hair color. I joked with my BFF and told her I dyed it and that I am an 'unnaturally natural brunette' now. I didn't take pictures today but I'll definitely get a couple tomorrow and post them. It'll definitely be easier to maintain than the reds I've been wearing for the past several years which will make it easier to grow my hair long again as I won't have to color it every few months to disguise my roots. I was looking through some old pictures of my hair and came across the pictures of when my hair was nearly to my waist. It almost made me want to cry! But it's just hair and it grows back (thankfully pretty quickly in my case). I'm sure once it is long again I'll ache for a short choppy look and wind up whacking it all off on a whim. It never fails. :P But it's change and change is good.
Speaking of change, I've been neglecting my shiny new eyeshadow palette as of late in favor of a more natural, neutral look. I've been experimenting with mostly moderate browns and champagnes instead of spending oodles of time obsessing over expertly matching my eyeshadow to my outfit. Today I used matte purples (Urban Decay Matte Eyeshadow Trio in Haze). It looked pretty but I prefer shiney shadows when it comes to colors like purple. Yesterday I experimented a bit with a look I found on Sephora.com. It was an Urban Decay look called Sharp Smokey Eyes. I've had a hard time "mastering" the smokey look because to pull it off you have to do a fair amount of blending. My sister is awesome when it comes to blending but whenever I blend it seems I don't blend enough (which leaves harsh lines) or over blend (which nearly obliterates the color completely). The Sharp Smokey Eye looked easy enough and, incidently, I had all of the components the look called for. So I gave it whirl.
eXtrEme close-ups:
Not-so-close-up:
It was, by far, the easiest smokey look I have tried to date. The only real problem I had with it was the black eyeliner. Urban Decay makes an awesome eyeliner pencil. It is remarkably creamy and very pigmented (like all of their products) so a little goes a long way. But try as I may to get a nice, thin line around my lashes I just couldn't. So my liner is quite a bit thicker than the model's. But for an amateur, I think I did pretty well. I really like the look, and though I don't find it suitable for 'everyday' wear, I will be trying it again next time I get dressed up for a special occasion or a night out.
In an attempt to make myself more receptive towards a year of change I decided to color my hair. It's very close (if not identical) to my natural hair color. I joked with my BFF and told her I dyed it and that I am an 'unnaturally natural brunette' now. I didn't take pictures today but I'll definitely get a couple tomorrow and post them. It'll definitely be easier to maintain than the reds I've been wearing for the past several years which will make it easier to grow my hair long again as I won't have to color it every few months to disguise my roots. I was looking through some old pictures of my hair and came across the pictures of when my hair was nearly to my waist. It almost made me want to cry! But it's just hair and it grows back (thankfully pretty quickly in my case). I'm sure once it is long again I'll ache for a short choppy look and wind up whacking it all off on a whim. It never fails. :P But it's change and change is good.
Speaking of change, I've been neglecting my shiny new eyeshadow palette as of late in favor of a more natural, neutral look. I've been experimenting with mostly moderate browns and champagnes instead of spending oodles of time obsessing over expertly matching my eyeshadow to my outfit. Today I used matte purples (Urban Decay Matte Eyeshadow Trio in Haze). It looked pretty but I prefer shiney shadows when it comes to colors like purple. Yesterday I experimented a bit with a look I found on Sephora.com. It was an Urban Decay look called Sharp Smokey Eyes. I've had a hard time "mastering" the smokey look because to pull it off you have to do a fair amount of blending. My sister is awesome when it comes to blending but whenever I blend it seems I don't blend enough (which leaves harsh lines) or over blend (which nearly obliterates the color completely). The Sharp Smokey Eye looked easy enough and, incidently, I had all of the components the look called for. So I gave it whirl.
eXtrEme close-ups:
Not-so-close-up:
It was, by far, the easiest smokey look I have tried to date. The only real problem I had with it was the black eyeliner. Urban Decay makes an awesome eyeliner pencil. It is remarkably creamy and very pigmented (like all of their products) so a little goes a long way. But try as I may to get a nice, thin line around my lashes I just couldn't. So my liner is quite a bit thicker than the model's. But for an amateur, I think I did pretty well. I really like the look, and though I don't find it suitable for 'everyday' wear, I will be trying it again next time I get dressed up for a special occasion or a night out.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
semi-short, sweet, mostly to the point...
My sister and family should be home in about an hour. I'm very excited as I've missed her and the kiddos a lot. But the week of quiet time was nice. The Monkey and I haven't left the house since New Year's Day. In fact, I haven't even gotten dressed/prettied (makeup, hair). (I did shower, though. :P) We spent New Year's Day playing Guitar Hero World Tour together. I finally forced myself to "graduate" from Easy to Medium. Easy was just getting way too boring. At any rate, I played lead guitar on Medium and The Monkey played bass on Expert and we rocked out for like five hours straight! I'm beginning to think that is why my left wrist hurts. Living with my sister hasn't affected our sex life in that we still have sex regularly; but while everyone was gone we had sex almost every single day! Twice a day a couple of times. :-o I guess it was just the lack of inhibition? I mean, we can have sex whenever we please it's just a little less comfortable when you're worried about the children hearing you or knocking on the door and then trying to open the door and wondering why it was locked. :-P We have plenty of privacy it's just not "all inclusive" like it was this past week.
Today The Monkey and I made sure the house was nice and clean. We not only made sure that the parts of the house we use frequently (kitchen, bathrooms) were spotless but also vacuumed the living room and the den and made sure all the towels were put away. It was just as a courtesy and hopefully my sister will be thrilled to come home to a spic-and-span house.
Our new cat, Jasmine, went into heat about a week after we took her in. This confirms two things: 1) she is definitely a she 2) she is not pregnant! However, she is relentless with the caterwauling especially at night. A few times I've wanted to throw something at her but have refrained. She stopped acting all crazy after about a week; just in time for Christmas. By New Year's Eve, she was at it again! I didn't think they were supposed to go into heat that often! I guess I need to do my research. I'm worried that we won't be able to predict her cycles enough to get her an appointment scheduled to get her spayed and declawed. She is a serious pain in the rear end at night. She's been keeping Tony awake. We have a small animal carrying bag (I bought it for Olivia's plane ride to the US but they wouldn't let me use it) and we were "crating" her in it until we went to let her out one morning and she was damp and smelled like pee. (The bath was mostly funny and The Monkey only got a couple of minor scratches.) So instead of putting her in there, we started trapping her under a laundry basket and covering that with a blanket. She seems to stay quiet when she's trapped. However, the sneaky little brat has learned quite quickly and now she runs away (usually under the bed or under a dresser) when we try to grab her. Blast! I'm going to call our vet tomorrow to see what we can do.
No word from Unicel/Verizon on a job for The Monkey yet. I was worried until he talked to a friend of ours that still works there and she said that they pushed the training class back a week. So that gives them more time to call the new hires. I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed and our friend is trying to pull as many strings as she can to get him hired.
I lost some weight! My sister's scale said 229 this afternoon! Finally under 230 for the first time in months. Lets hope this is the beginning of a trend. Iwant need to start walking. I wish my sister had bought Wii Fit for Christmas. :-P
Today The Monkey and I made sure the house was nice and clean. We not only made sure that the parts of the house we use frequently (kitchen, bathrooms) were spotless but also vacuumed the living room and the den and made sure all the towels were put away. It was just as a courtesy and hopefully my sister will be thrilled to come home to a spic-and-span house.
Our new cat, Jasmine, went into heat about a week after we took her in. This confirms two things: 1) she is definitely a she 2) she is not pregnant! However, she is relentless with the caterwauling especially at night. A few times I've wanted to throw something at her but have refrained. She stopped acting all crazy after about a week; just in time for Christmas. By New Year's Eve, she was at it again! I didn't think they were supposed to go into heat that often! I guess I need to do my research. I'm worried that we won't be able to predict her cycles enough to get her an appointment scheduled to get her spayed and declawed. She is a serious pain in the rear end at night. She's been keeping Tony awake. We have a small animal carrying bag (I bought it for Olivia's plane ride to the US but they wouldn't let me use it) and we were "crating" her in it until we went to let her out one morning and she was damp and smelled like pee. (The bath was mostly funny and The Monkey only got a couple of minor scratches.) So instead of putting her in there, we started trapping her under a laundry basket and covering that with a blanket. She seems to stay quiet when she's trapped. However, the sneaky little brat has learned quite quickly and now she runs away (usually under the bed or under a dresser) when we try to grab her. Blast! I'm going to call our vet tomorrow to see what we can do.
No word from Unicel/Verizon on a job for The Monkey yet. I was worried until he talked to a friend of ours that still works there and she said that they pushed the training class back a week. So that gives them more time to call the new hires. I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed and our friend is trying to pull as many strings as she can to get him hired.
I lost some weight! My sister's scale said 229 this afternoon! Finally under 230 for the first time in months. Lets hope this is the beginning of a trend. I
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
resolve: i want MY body back!
I look in the mirror these days and I am frightened at what stares back at me. PCOS really wreaks havoc on the body but, in truth, I know I haven't done much to stave off its effects. I have always, always been heavy. I remember being horribly self-concious as an early teen because I could easily fit into my mom's size 14 jeans. None of my friends could even dream of fitting into their mom's jeans. But, even being as overweight as I was, I always managed to carry my weight well. In fact, I've always been told that until recently.
I have horrible body image issues. They started at a very young age. I've always been quite round in my midsection, even as a young child. I remember my step-sister teasing me and calling me 'rolley polley' and 'fat back'. I don't have many memories from my childhood. Abuse, trama, yada yada. I blocked the majority of it out, I imagine, for self preservation sake. But I do have a few choice memories, most of which aren't very pleasant. One particular memory I have is of a camping trip we took in the summer of 1989. Or maybe it was 1990. I would've been 8 or 9 years old. My mom bought my sister and I matching bikini swimsuits. Hers was purple polka dots, mine was red. I distinctly remember feeling extremely awkward in my bikini. I remember thinking how inexplicably round my tummy was in comparison to my [six years older] sister's. Of course I didn't have boobs yet; another source of self-conciousness. To be honest, I was probably a [mostly] regular looking eight (or nine) year old. But I couldn't help but feel ugly; fat; different. I have been criticizing and scrutinizing my poor body ever since.
Things culminated in Junior High. Not only did I feel different, I was different. All of my friends and both of my sisters were shaped nicely with perky breasts and hour glass figures. I was cursed with broad shoulders, breasts that seemed to literally repel each other (I've never had much in the way of cleavage without some serious push-up bra action), a flabby, protruding stomach, and a double chin. I had a horrible wardrobe because of my size and shape. This was long before Plus Size was a common household term, mind you, and as a result, I bought most, if not all of my jeans from the men's section. I went through High School suffering the stigma of being overweight. I never dated; I was never asked to go to any dances. By my senior year I was somewhere around a size 20 and weighed in the 240 range.
In the years following High School I resolved to lose the weight that was holding me hostage in my own skin. I set a goal to get down to 145 pounds (my health weight for my height and bone structure) and I vowed that once the scale boasted that glorious number that I would finally be happy. It took me four years to do it but I finally did get the scale to say 145. Try as I may, I still couldn't force my brain to recognize the acheivement.
That was me at 145 pounds. A healthy, reasonable weight; wearing a clothing size FINALLY in the single digits.
I thought I was fat. Not just a little overweight or pudgy or even just a little soft and out of shape. No, I was fat and I was sure of it.
Looking in the mirror today it is abundantly clear that this was completely ludicrous; bordering on completely insane, even.
I really have no one but myself to blame for gaining every pound of weight I lost back; and then some. PCOS definitely plays a large factor. It's hard to get and stay motivated to lose weight when you put in an immense amount of effort and barely see any results. The perpetuating cycle of insulin resistance causing weight gain and making weight loss difficult but being worsened by being overweight is proof positive that Mother Nature can be a cruel, sadistic bitch. But I am determined to beat the bitch at her own game. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I know that I absolutely MUST get my body back.
I will stop at nothing.
I have horrible body image issues. They started at a very young age. I've always been quite round in my midsection, even as a young child. I remember my step-sister teasing me and calling me 'rolley polley' and 'fat back'. I don't have many memories from my childhood. Abuse, trama, yada yada. I blocked the majority of it out, I imagine, for self preservation sake. But I do have a few choice memories, most of which aren't very pleasant. One particular memory I have is of a camping trip we took in the summer of 1989. Or maybe it was 1990. I would've been 8 or 9 years old. My mom bought my sister and I matching bikini swimsuits. Hers was purple polka dots, mine was red. I distinctly remember feeling extremely awkward in my bikini. I remember thinking how inexplicably round my tummy was in comparison to my [six years older] sister's. Of course I didn't have boobs yet; another source of self-conciousness. To be honest, I was probably a [mostly] regular looking eight (or nine) year old. But I couldn't help but feel ugly; fat; different. I have been criticizing and scrutinizing my poor body ever since.
Things culminated in Junior High. Not only did I feel different, I was different. All of my friends and both of my sisters were shaped nicely with perky breasts and hour glass figures. I was cursed with broad shoulders, breasts that seemed to literally repel each other (I've never had much in the way of cleavage without some serious push-up bra action), a flabby, protruding stomach, and a double chin. I had a horrible wardrobe because of my size and shape. This was long before Plus Size was a common household term, mind you, and as a result, I bought most, if not all of my jeans from the men's section. I went through High School suffering the stigma of being overweight. I never dated; I was never asked to go to any dances. By my senior year I was somewhere around a size 20 and weighed in the 240 range.
In the years following High School I resolved to lose the weight that was holding me hostage in my own skin. I set a goal to get down to 145 pounds (my health weight for my height and bone structure) and I vowed that once the scale boasted that glorious number that I would finally be happy. It took me four years to do it but I finally did get the scale to say 145. Try as I may, I still couldn't force my brain to recognize the acheivement.
That was me at 145 pounds. A healthy, reasonable weight; wearing a clothing size FINALLY in the single digits.
I thought I was fat. Not just a little overweight or pudgy or even just a little soft and out of shape. No, I was fat and I was sure of it.
Looking in the mirror today it is abundantly clear that this was completely ludicrous; bordering on completely insane, even.
I really have no one but myself to blame for gaining every pound of weight I lost back; and then some. PCOS definitely plays a large factor. It's hard to get and stay motivated to lose weight when you put in an immense amount of effort and barely see any results. The perpetuating cycle of insulin resistance causing weight gain and making weight loss difficult but being worsened by being overweight is proof positive that Mother Nature can be a cruel, sadistic bitch. But I am determined to beat the bitch at her own game. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I know that I absolutely MUST get my body back.
I will stop at nothing.
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