everything nice...

I love my perinatologist. He reminds me a lot of my RE (except she's, y'know, female) in that he talks to me and not at me. The entire staff at Sacred Heart is lovely. I know this is going to sound crazy but I'm grateful to be a 'high risk' patient. The doctors are so attentive and aim to quell my fears instead of dismissing me as some crazy worry wart.

The ultrasound was fantastic. They always are. I never tire of staring at the ultrasound screen in complete awe with a permagrin plastered on my face. I'm too overjoyed to even have tears of joy at this point. How silly. Both babies are very active (though I can't yet feel it). I've been noticing that the bigger they get, the harder they are to find with my doppler. I surmised that it was because they have so much room to wiggle around and do their acrobatics that they hardly sit still! Baby A is on my right side (head down...for now) and Baby B is on my left side happily kicking Baby A in the nose every now and again.

The ultrasound tech was awesome. She took her time and didn't just rush into doing measurements (they didn't last time, either). Both babies look excellent! Their growth is symmetrical (important for identical twins) and their fluid levels look nice and even. Both of their little hearts and brains look perfect. In a nutshell... so far, so good!

And seeing as how I'm 16w4d today they went ahead and took a peek between their legs. Baby A was bashful but Baby B readily showed us the goods and we are having TWIN GIRLS!! I'm beyond thrilled and amazed and... wow is this really happening to me?

And here is a peek at my two sweet girls! ♥ ♥

Baby A




Baby B




We're still tossing around names but I think we have a good idea who these little munchkins are going to be. :D

research

Even though my sister (and several others) think I'm completely out of my head... I really want to cloth diaper the twins. Just thinking about the cost of disposable diapers makes my head spin. Cloth will be more expensive up front but the savings in the long run... get outta town! It's a no brainer. I feel like my sister and the "others" that are frowning at me don't have confidence in me. After 7 1/2 years TTC do they really think that a little poop laundry is going to be bothersome?? I'm a little disappointed that they aren't backing me as much as I'd hoped.

Thankfully I have plenty of friends that cloth diaper (you know who you are!) and they have all been a big, big help. I'm browsing Green Mountain Diapers and watching YouTube videos about prefolds and covers. People make it look incredibly simple. I'm sure there's some learning curve involved but my goodness; surely it can't be much more difficult than all of these people make it look. (There were even a few videos with daddies doing diaper duty!)

So those of you out in my blogosphere... if you cloth diaper and have any tips, tricks, hints... etc. Please share! I think that I'll start primarily with the prefolds and covers and get a couple each of other types and see what we like best.

Also, in case anyone is wondering... the Twinkies are doing great! I had an NT Scan last week and got the results back yesterday. Both babies have a very low risk of trisomies 13, 18, and 21. Good stuff! The ultrasound was a.maz.ing because the babies were just SO active! They really gave mommy and daddy and Aunt Mimi a show. :) I have another appointment this Thursday -- this time with my OB -- and I'm hoping that they'll take a good peek between their legs and maybe we'll get a hint on boys or girls!

Things are just rolling along. Every day that passes feels like a blessing. A huge blessing! I'm really excited but still a bit in shock. I'm kind of ready to start feeling some flutters but we found out at my NT scan that my placenta is anterior so it'll probably be a while before I get to that point.

reality

I'm beginning to wonder when pregnancy is going to feel real. My logical/rational side keeps telling me to keep my cool because bad things can still happen. But my heart is telling me that these are my bring home babies. I can't explain my heart but right now, it speaks much louder than my brain. (It doesn't hurt that I'm able to hear the Twinkies on my home doppler now.)

My brain is busy processing that there will more than likely be two little babies in the house in roughly seven months time. Still... my mind's eye just can't see it. I still can't picture my belly getting big and round. I still can't picture myself nursing (or bottle feeding -- whatever the case may be). Which is really strange because while we were going through cycle after cycle of trying I had zero issues picturing us as parents.

But now that it's really happening, I'm drawing complete blanks! What's up with that?

In other news, The Monkey and I went to Toys 'R Us to do some Christmas shopping and spent our first 20 minutes on the Babies 'R Us side. I don't think The Monkey would admit it but I could sense a hint of excitement from him. He poked and prodded through the different "contraptions." He played with strollers and infant carriers. He even looked at nursery decor.

There aren't enough words to express my happiness right now. I'm just wondering... when does it feel really real??

a heartbeat!

We saw a heartbeat today! It was immediate and the tears and giggles came quickly. My mom and sister went with me since The Monkey had to work. My mom asked the nurse if she saw just one. I insisted that there was only one last week so there was only going to be one this week.

Turns out... not so much. One gestational sac... two yolk sacs and two beautiful little heartbeats! :D

We were a bit shocked (er.. still are) but OH SO happy!! <3

another milestone...

The further this pregnancy progresses, the more fascinated I become. I still feel like this is an out of body experience. I got so used to watching other people go through what I longed to go through. It's... odd.

Today we went in for our first ultrasound. I am 5w2d so I prepared myself to 'not see much' on the screen. The Monkey was funny. Through all of this, if you can believe it, the man has never been in a room for an ultrasound. So when I promptly went to stripping from the waist down he looked kind of puzzled. As soon as the dildo cam was inserted we immediately saw a round black bubble amidst the seas of gray. After a few more seconds, a tiny white circle inside the black bubble -- the yolk sac. By LMP I am 5w4d (yeah...we all know how accurate that measurement is) but by the measurements she took of the gestational sac, I am 5w2d.

RELIEF.

My beta came back a few hours later. Normally they call and give results (especially if it's bad news) but this time I decided to check my patient voicemail and there was a message waiting. My first beta (12 DPO) was 31.6. Second (16 DPO) was 344. Today's (23 DPO) was 6334. To say I'm excited is an understatement. I am positively elated. This is the furthest we've made it! And things still look good. With every milestone I allow myself to get a teensy more excited. I go back next Monday for a repeat ultrasound and will hopefully get to see a beautiful flicker.

I am still mostly symptom free. Even my boobs don't hurt like they did that first week (when my progesterone was lower -- go figure). No nausea (yet); no aversions. Maybe some "cravings" (mostly I just don't want sweets like I used to; I honestly want savory/salty foods) and definitely having to pee more often (or I'm just hyper aware of it... or not since I'm having to get up in the middle of the night at least once but more often than not it's twice or more).

another busy Saturday

Which is good because it is keeping my mind off of Monday.

I still don't feel pregnant. So I've been periodically peeing on cheapie Internet strips to reassure myself. The only things that are different are my boobs (they are relentlessly sore most of the time) and my heart. My heart? Yes, my heart. I have been having non-stop heart palpitations for the past week. It coincides with the rise in hCG so I'm going to assume it's pregnancy related. I've dealt with them before but have been told by a few people that their vengeant return could be related to being pregnant so I'm planning on mentioning it on Monday.

Monday. My first ultrasound. My ultrasound. It hasn't sunk in yet. I am five weeks today.

Mmm... words taste GOOD!

I am eating my words like crazy right now. Today's beta came back at an astonishing 344. I was hoping for something in the 120s but this... wow! I am freaking THRILLED beyond the telling of it.

Oh, yeah... and I was wishing for some sign of pregnancy. Any sign. My ta tas are sore. That'll work. :P

My progesterone is still on the lower side (though it went from 10.4 to 23.6!) so in addition to shoving capsules up my hoo-hah three times a day I get to start PIO shots also.

Completely and totally worth it.