create in me (wishful thoughts)

I keep thinking that Tony and I should clear out the spare bedroom (read: the future nursery). Right now it is packed full of clutter and junk; stuff that we need to sort through anyway. There are hundreds of books, two PCs (neither of which is more than an oversized paper weight), a dresser that functions poorly, bags of clothes that need to go to the Christian Mission, Christmas decorations, and lots of other miscellaneous junk that, like I said, needs sorting. I'd like to get it all cleared out and then paint. And possibly pick out some curtains. I don't want to do anything dramatic like buy baby furniture or anything, but I'd like to start preparing at least a little bit. Perhaps it'll open a window of positive energy. Besides, I hate going in that room. We really need a couple of book shelves. Among other things.

My sister had her baby on Sunday afternoon. It was an incredible experience that I'll not soon forget. In fact, I don't think I ever will. Madison Michele was born at 2:03 PM at Enterprise Medical Center. She weighed 8 lbs 10 oz and was 21 inches long! She was a big girl but so tiny just the same. She's perfect in every way imaginable. Last night I visited the hospital to keep my sister company for a couple of hours. After Maddy through a holy hell fit about getting her poopy diaper changed, she was pretty tuckered out. So I snuggled her for about a half hour. For the first 15 minutes or so, she did nothing but squirm (she's such a wiggle worm!) and stare at me. Talk about melt your heart! Then she started getting antsy so I gave her the binky and before long she was sound asleep in my arms, sucking her binky and holding tightly onto my thumb. All I could think is how badly I wanted to have a baby of my own to rock to sleep. Of course, for now, Madison is a good substitute and I am completely in love! (Picture was taken shortly after Madison was born on Sunday. Surprisingly, I don't look too bad for having on almost no makeup! ;))

In TTC news, I started my injections last night. They have me on 75mIU of Follistim again but I'm thinking of upping it to 100mIU. I responded slowly last time on 75 and I don't want to have to make multiple trips to Montgomery again. Hopefully CD 12 will leave me with at least two, hopefully three good follicles. Last time, I only had one. :-/ I'm really hopeful for this cycle. I'd love a September baby. I remember this time last year, wanting a September baby. September has come and gone. But I won't be defeated. This journey will soon end happily. It just has to.