the suckiest suckaversary of them all

This day, last year, I left work early to see the doctor. See, I had a bad feeling all along; I knew it was too good to be true. I was willing to forgo the %$150 ER copay just to know. I had to know.

And my gut was right. My hCG had dropped and the joy of being pregnant was ending in a crash and burn sort of way. Nothing has been the same since.

Here it is, one year later, and I still find myself crying over the loss. I'm sure this is normal so why do I feel so damn flawed?