polar emotions

Today I am 34w2d pregnant. I cannot begin to describe how fast and slow this has gone. I'm definitely in a state of disbelief that, in a few weeks (or less!) time, I could be bringing home my babies. I am excited and terrified all at the same time.

These last couple weeks of pregnancy have been rough. I tapered off my Prozac (probably far too quickly) so my emotions have been extra high. Couple that with the general discomfort that comes with being 30+ weeks pregnant with twins and, well... things are bound to get hairy every now and again. The crying spells. Oh dear Lord. The Monkey and I were heading out to a friend's house the other day to borrow a power tool and while he went in to Walgreens to get me a bottle of water I completely lost it. Blubbering. Mess. I took a nap on the way out and by the time we arrived I felt chipper again. Sleep is a luxary that I just don't see much of. I'm up four or five times a night. Three (or more) of those times I have to roll (yes roll) out of bed and hobble to the potty. Other times I just have to switch sides. (I despise side sleeping. It makes my hips and shoulders and neck very sore and I will not lie -- I can't WAIT to sleep on my back again!)

During the rougher days I think to myself "37 weeks can't come soon enough!" Not just because of the discomfort but also because, well duh, I can't wait to meet these little girls! But then I look down at my belly and think about how little time I have left to cherish it. I love my belly. I honestly love being pregnant. Pregnancy has been rather agreeable with my psyche. Dare I say, for the most part, I am comfortable in my own skin. Even though I have packed on a whopping 60 lbs already! [jawdrop] I love feeling all the rolling around that goes on in there. I like trying to figure out which body part is trying to make its way into my ribcage. I love the steady, rhythmic poking when one or both of the babies has the hiccups.

Thankfully I'm pretty sure that once they are here I will have very little time to miss being pregnant. ;) We have everything ready to go. Well, except we need to get the car seats installed in the car and then have them inspected. The nursery is done. We did some maternity portraits (and I'm hoping to do a few more this week). And I find that's another reason I keep wishing for the next few weeks to fly by -- we're ready!

Today is my final visit with the perinatologist. Everything has gone pretty much perfectly. I, apparently, have a cervix of steel. Every measurement has been 5+ cm; long and closed. My girls are growing fabulously! They've consistently remained in the 50th percentile during the entire pregnancy. At our ultrasound with the OB on Friday Baby A was estimated to weigh 5 lbs 3 oz and Baby B was 5 lbs 3 oz. Big, healthy girls!

And so the countdown begins (or picks up) and hopefully very soon (but not too soon) I'll be introducing my sweet little girls to the world.