another week (and another MONTH even)

Things kind of feel like they are in slow motion. Or something to that effect. It's hard to believe it's only been a week. Everything has changed; life is completely different from last week. I'm trying not to dwell on it because it makes me nauseated when I do.

My emotions are all over the place. But my mood, surprisingly enough, is mostly stable. I'm back in therapy for the umpteenth time in my life to try to sort through this new madness and truly process my past. Maybe then I'll be able to focus more on the future. I don't know.

In light of all this madness I've been considering going out to California to visit my BFF for a few weeks. But I haven't decided for sure yet. I just bought a new laptop (after much persuasion from The Monkey). Then I had to buy a new wireless router because our current one wasn't able to handle the new work load (three laptops, X-Box Live, and two desktops all working off of the same connection). My last splurge was really unintentional but it was just an opportunity that was too good to pass up. With all that has happened we are moving my mom over to our wireless plan. There's no sense in her paying $80.00 a month for a cell phone she hardly uses. (In retrospect, there's no real reason for her to be without one, either.) The ideal solution was to add her onto our account since it would only be, at most, $10 more a month on our bill. But then VZW said we couldn't add a new line without changing (read: upgrading) our current plan since it was outdated. And since we were going to be forced to do it anyway I went ahead and upgraded our phones as well. We'll both have Motorola DROIDs tomorrow. Yes, I am excited. (They were buy one get one free. And as a VZW employee, The Monkey only has to agree to a one year contract versus two. BUT we get the two year contract price on phones. And we get that privelege every ten months. Sweet.)

And now it's time for me to lie down. I am taking Mom to the social security office tomorrow morning. And then I have another therapy session at noon. I'm really enjoying all of the extra time I've been spending with my mom. I can't remember ever getting to sit around and just talk to her. Especially while she's sober. :P She's a good person, with a good heart that has been dealt a crappy hand. But she is just the type of woman that will pick up and go on and amaze the hell out of all those around her.

My BFF is trying to help me, too. She told me to start writing stuff down. I haven't written (in a paper journal) in years. I'm also going to start working more on some holistic treatments for bipolar. (This involves learning triggers and how to avoid them and what to do if I can't avoid them... etc etc.)

In spite of everything, I am still pretty confident that 2010 is going to be a good year.