Ever since we got home from Pennsylvania I've felt off. The kind of depressed that doesn't have me hiding under my covers and/or crying uncontrollably but kind of going through the motions of what every day life entails. Oh, and I've been spending too much money; perhaps as an attempt to console myself.
It's really strange. The Lamictal has been really phenomenal. I've been pretty functional for months now. I get out of bed and I get a shower and I do my makeup. I run errands that need running. I do chores that need doing.
But ever since our trip, things have just kind of went to hell. I don't really see the point in doing anything so I sit around and do nothing.
It certainly didn't help matters when I sat around all weekend waiting for AF to show. I took my last active pill on Friday. On Monday, I started spotting. No big deal. By Monday night it was a full on period, but nothing too horrific. Thank the heavens for birth control. But then on Tuesday, all hell broke loose. I cannot adequately describe the pain I have been in since Tuesday morning. It started off pretty mild; a little worse-than-normal cramping. But by Tuesday night I was in agony. It felt like something needed to come OUT. The Monkey kept throwing me worried looks and asking if I needed to go to the ER. But our ER doctors here are so incompetent that I refused. I took a Motrin and a Lortab and after another hour of excruciating pain things seemed to die down. I was able to sleep for a couple of hours before needing another Lortab.
The pain woke me up early on Wednesday morning. I sat on the toilet clutching my stomach completely unsure of what to do. My sister took one look and me and said point blank that I was acting like I was in labor. She was afraid that I'd gotten pregnant somehow and was miscarrying. I knew it wasn't possible. Still, the pain was so intense that I had her drag me to the ER crying and trembling.
We spent the entire day there. They gave me several doses of Dilaudid which really didn't do much of anything for the pain. (It wasn't a constant pain, see. It was coming in "waves" which made my sister more concerned that it was like mock labor pains...hmm.) They did an ultrasound and I saw lots of "gunk" on the screen. I was sure that I was seeing clots and that my uterus was contracting trying desperately to pass the tissue. At one point, while in the shower, in a desperate moment of my own, I felt my cervix and found that I could easily fit my fingertip into my cervix. Which I have never been able to do. Ever. The ER doc sent me home with scrips for antibiotics since my white count was up. I'm going to see my RE on Monday for bloodwork and ultrasound. The ER gave me paperword about PID and now I'm terrified that I may have it. Though I don't see how.
Most likely this is the result of polyp regrowth. Possibly endo as well. I guess we'll see on Monday. I will be happy to start my new pack of birth control tomorrow, that is for sure.
Now I must lie down because Lortab makes me feel ill. But it's either be almost completely immobile and pain free or completely immobile and writhing in agony. :-/
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Because 10 Years is a LONG time...
But 25 is even longer...
Here are a few pictures of our vacation/visit so far. We went to my dad's house on Wednesday and surprised him. He had NO clue we were coming. He thought my oldest sister (who lives here in PA) was visiting us down in Alabama. It was a fantastic night that words can't even begin to describe. First it was just my sisters and me with the kids. Then my brothers all showed up. All seven of us kids were together for the first time EVER. The four of us (my sisters, brother, and I) were together for the first time in 25 years. We're going to have professional portraits done on Sunday. Tomorrow is Dad's 60th birthday party -- also a surprise.
It's hard to see the look on Dad's face in this picture but trust me, it was one of complete and utter disbelief! :D
Sitting next to Daddy. I think he was still in shock. He was grinning from ear to ear the whole time.
All four of us with Mommy for the first time in 25 years.
Here are a few pictures of our vacation/visit so far. We went to my dad's house on Wednesday and surprised him. He had NO clue we were coming. He thought my oldest sister (who lives here in PA) was visiting us down in Alabama. It was a fantastic night that words can't even begin to describe. First it was just my sisters and me with the kids. Then my brothers all showed up. All seven of us kids were together for the first time EVER. The four of us (my sisters, brother, and I) were together for the first time in 25 years. We're going to have professional portraits done on Sunday. Tomorrow is Dad's 60th birthday party -- also a surprise.
It's hard to see the look on Dad's face in this picture but trust me, it was one of complete and utter disbelief! :D
Sitting next to Daddy. I think he was still in shock. He was grinning from ear to ear the whole time.
All four of us with Mommy for the first time in 25 years.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
17 hours is too much
What a long drive. I can't even describe it. I've done 12 hours but my what a difference five hours makes.
More later. I need to shower. But we are here safe and sound. I can't wait to surprise our dad for his 60th! He still has NO idea that we're here. :D
More later. I need to shower. But we are here safe and sound. I can't wait to surprise our dad for his 60th! He still has NO idea that we're here. :D
Friday, July 31, 2009
the good, the bad, and the beautified
It has been a HECTIC week. A week full of uncertainty and potential disaster.
It started last Friday evening when The Monkey came home from work doubled over. Kidney stone. It required a visit to the ER, copious IV painkillers, a CT scan, and labs. The stone was only 1 - 2mm in diameter so they sent him home all doped up and told him to come back if the excruciating pain returned and to follow up with a urologist. If/when he passed the stone, he did so without knowing it because he stopped straining his urine on Monday when he went back to work. But he hasn't had any further pain so we're confident that everything is okay. He still needs to see a urologist, though. He was on a medication called Urocit a couple of years ago to help prevent stone formation. We've been together for six years. This is the fourth stone he's had in that time. Poor guy!
So Friday night was boring. He was completely zonked and wound up falling asleep during the movie we tried to watch.
Saturday we got up early to get the house nice and tidy for my sister's return. I wanted to vacuum and straighten up and make sure the bathroom and everything was nice and clean. The Monkey was in a little bit of pain so he decided to go to Walgreens and fill his prescriptions (one for Flomax and one for Lortab 10). When he got back he told me that he couldn't get my car to start. WTF?! So I called my dad and he came over and gave my silver bullet a once over. He couldn't find the problem. He said it was most likely the camshaft sensor or the main computer. (The engine was turning over but it wouldn't start.) I was HIGHLY frazzled. Thankful, of course, that we have two vehicles and we'd still have transportation, but UPSET nonetheless. On Sunday we had dinner with my parents and my dad told me to go to AutoZone on Monday and get them to print out a diagram and instructions on how to remove/replace the camshaft sensor. Since The Monkey has an engine identical to mine, we could swap his and see if that was, indeed, the issue.
Thankfully it didn't even go that far. Upon much Googling, I discovered a message board for Alero owners. Someone had posted the same exact problem that I was having. Four of the five replies told the original poster to check their passlock. The passlock is an anti-theft device. When you put your key in the ignition, magnets align in a certain way and, provided it is the correct key and forms the correct alignment, the ignition switch sends a message to the onboard computer which then sends a message to your engine that says "fire fuel injectors". If someone tries to steal the car the passlock mechanism tells the computer to NOT tell the engine to fire the fuel injectors. No fuel, no start. And once the mechanism is tripped, the car won't start no matter how many times you try. Thankfully one of the people on the message boards had a fix. They said to leave the key in the ignition with the ignition switch turned to "On" and to leave it alone for at least 10 minutes. So I did just that, keeping my fingers crossed the whole time. When I finally went back out to my car the "SECURITY" light that had been flashing was out. I pulled the key out and then put it back in and cranked my car. It started right up!! I haven't had a problem with it starting since. Hooray!
But the car drama didn't end there. On Wednesday evening The Monkey and I were driving to Walmart and my check engine light popped on. I cursed a few times then said we were going over to my dad's promptly to find out what code was making the light come on. P0455, as it turns out which means there is an Evaporation Emissions Control System leak. In parantheses it said "Gross Leak" and I was prepared for the worst. Thankfully, once again, the issue didn't seem to be anything serious at all. My owner's manual said to delete the error code and tighten the gas cap. If the light came back on, there was a problem (which may be no more serious than needing a new gas cap). If it didn't come back on (which it hasn't) then it was most likely due to the gas cap being loose. Another bullet dodged.
But, alas, the car drama still doesn't end there! Yesterday I drove out to Birmingham for my RE appointment (more on that in a moment). It was a hellatious drive and one that I haven't made in a long time. It probably wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for all the road work. I hit some form or another on every major highway. I hit it twice on I-65 -- once in Montgomery and then again on the outskirts of Birmingham. Anyway, the ride was mostly uneventful, just a little longer than I'm used to. The way home was rough. I was tired and I hit a couple of storms so there were a couple of times where I had to do about 35 into 70. I left Birmingham around 3:00 and I didn't get back into town until almost 7:00. (Normally this drive takes me just under three hours.) I immediately went to our local Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. When I turned into the parking lot my BRAKE warning light came on. And then, almost as quickly went back out. I pulled into a parking spot and pulled my hand brake. The light came on (as expected) and then went out when I released the brake. I thought it was a fluke until I turned into Arby's and the same thing happened. And then again when I turned onto a street in our neighborhood. And then again when I pulled into the driveway. The light didn't stay on, though. It was coming on and staying lit for 20 - 30 seconds and then going out. I immediately thought about the $650 brake job I had done a month ago. My front brakes are all brand new and my rear drums were cleaned and adjusted. The last thing I should be having problems with are my freaking brakes! Especially since I've only driven about 800 miles since they were changed and 400 of that was yesterday! Anyway, I called my dad this morning and asked him if my brake fluid could be low. He said it would absolutely cause the problem but just filling it with brake fluid wouldn't solve the underlying problem. Brake systems are self contained. You should rarely, if ever, have to add brake fluid to the resevoir. If you do, there is a leak somewhere. Just. Freaking. Fantastic. So, sure enough, when he opened the fluid resevoir it wasn't just low it was EMPTY. Like seriously BONE DRY. So my dad, after chastising me for taking my car to "amateur mechanics" instead of him, took a look at my calipers and brake lines. Sure enough, the lines were leaking. I was furious to say the least. I told my dad I was taking it back to Expert Tire so they could fix the issue. It was, after all, an issue THEY caused. I've never had this problem before they did the brake job. My dad was afraid that they would call me a silly girl and tell me that the moisture I saw was simply due to the roads being wet from all the rain (nevermind the fact that the lines were perfectly dry except where the connections were) so he called them up before sending me over. They had me in and out in a half hour. Something about a bad O-ring, which they replaced. Nevertheless, I plan to keep an eye on my brake fluid levels. If it starts to go down, I'll be taking it back again. Only THIS time, I'll be bringing my dad, a veteran Army mechanic, along with me. :P
I have to say that my day started off pretty well, though. At my appointment yesterday they drew labs and then I had my annual exam. This morning they called back with the results which are as follows:
I started my Synthroid today. The effects on my appetite were incredible. I had to force myself to eat lunch. I have to take it on an empty stomach and am not supposed to eat for at least a half hour afterwards. I wound up being so caught up in getting ready for my busy day that it was nearly 11:00 before I ate anything. I started to feel woozy and scarfed down a sandwich. But every time I thought about eating a bagel or something it just didn't sound appealing. Which is really different since that's what I've been having for breakfast for a couple of weeks now. A cinnamon bagel with cinnamon swirl cream cheese. Or a blueberry bagel with strawberry and cheesecake flavored cream cheese. [drool] I was pretty ravenous at dinner time so I need to make a point about eating smaller meals throughout the day. AF made a rather timely appearance and I'll be starting my birth control pills (Desogen) tonight as well. I'm really hoping this combo of meds will help make losing weight that much easier. My RE and the nurses were all astounded by my weight loss. I've lost 30 pounds since the beginning of the year. I had to make sure and emphasize that I'd gained about 40 pounds in 2008. :P Still, it was nice to get the pats on the back for my efforts and encouragement to keep going. I also found out that my sister's scale is DEAD ON accurate. I weighed myself before I left (being sure to have my clothes on) and I weighed the same amount at the doctor's office.
Today I had a semi-busy day. I had to go to the DMV to register our cars. Today was the last day to do it without the $15 per vehicle penalty. The line was pretty long but the wait wasn't bad at all. Unfortunately, I wish I'd driven out to Dale county to reregister them instead of doing it in Coffee because we wound up having to pay an extra $25 for city tax or something. I could've saved money even though I would've had to drive 28 miles. [shrug] It's just as well, though. Then I took my car to Expert Tire. And then I headed to my stylist to have my hair done. Which, I must say, turned out positively fabulous as usual!
A view from the front.
A view from the back to show the contrasting colors of the top layers vs. the bottom layers.
It's a bit different from the colors I did in March. The bottom layers are the same dark, almost black brown. But the top is much more red than it was in March. Which means it won't fade out quite as nicely but that's okay. Now I'm all set up for portraits when we go up north!
We are leaving here at midnight on the 3rd (well, technically, the 4th). The drive is going to take an estimated 17 hours. I'm wishing I could get a hold of a really GOOD radar detector to cut down our travel time, though. I need to procure a car charger for my iPod so I have some form of entertainment. Reading is out of the question as I get motion sickness quite easily. I wish we could take my sister's Suburban because it's fully loaded, DVD player and TV included. But we won't all fit so we're taking my mom's Trailblazer instead. Only three more days to go! I'm very excited to see everyone! Even if I didn't quite meet my weight loss goal.
And now to go lie down and relax and hopefully pass out after my full day.
It started last Friday evening when The Monkey came home from work doubled over. Kidney stone. It required a visit to the ER, copious IV painkillers, a CT scan, and labs. The stone was only 1 - 2mm in diameter so they sent him home all doped up and told him to come back if the excruciating pain returned and to follow up with a urologist. If/when he passed the stone, he did so without knowing it because he stopped straining his urine on Monday when he went back to work. But he hasn't had any further pain so we're confident that everything is okay. He still needs to see a urologist, though. He was on a medication called Urocit a couple of years ago to help prevent stone formation. We've been together for six years. This is the fourth stone he's had in that time. Poor guy!
So Friday night was boring. He was completely zonked and wound up falling asleep during the movie we tried to watch.
Saturday we got up early to get the house nice and tidy for my sister's return. I wanted to vacuum and straighten up and make sure the bathroom and everything was nice and clean. The Monkey was in a little bit of pain so he decided to go to Walgreens and fill his prescriptions (one for Flomax and one for Lortab 10). When he got back he told me that he couldn't get my car to start. WTF?! So I called my dad and he came over and gave my silver bullet a once over. He couldn't find the problem. He said it was most likely the camshaft sensor or the main computer. (The engine was turning over but it wouldn't start.) I was HIGHLY frazzled. Thankful, of course, that we have two vehicles and we'd still have transportation, but UPSET nonetheless. On Sunday we had dinner with my parents and my dad told me to go to AutoZone on Monday and get them to print out a diagram and instructions on how to remove/replace the camshaft sensor. Since The Monkey has an engine identical to mine, we could swap his and see if that was, indeed, the issue.
Thankfully it didn't even go that far. Upon much Googling, I discovered a message board for Alero owners. Someone had posted the same exact problem that I was having. Four of the five replies told the original poster to check their passlock. The passlock is an anti-theft device. When you put your key in the ignition, magnets align in a certain way and, provided it is the correct key and forms the correct alignment, the ignition switch sends a message to the onboard computer which then sends a message to your engine that says "fire fuel injectors". If someone tries to steal the car the passlock mechanism tells the computer to NOT tell the engine to fire the fuel injectors. No fuel, no start. And once the mechanism is tripped, the car won't start no matter how many times you try. Thankfully one of the people on the message boards had a fix. They said to leave the key in the ignition with the ignition switch turned to "On" and to leave it alone for at least 10 minutes. So I did just that, keeping my fingers crossed the whole time. When I finally went back out to my car the "SECURITY" light that had been flashing was out. I pulled the key out and then put it back in and cranked my car. It started right up!! I haven't had a problem with it starting since. Hooray!
But the car drama didn't end there. On Wednesday evening The Monkey and I were driving to Walmart and my check engine light popped on. I cursed a few times then said we were going over to my dad's promptly to find out what code was making the light come on. P0455, as it turns out which means there is an Evaporation Emissions Control System leak. In parantheses it said "Gross Leak" and I was prepared for the worst. Thankfully, once again, the issue didn't seem to be anything serious at all. My owner's manual said to delete the error code and tighten the gas cap. If the light came back on, there was a problem (which may be no more serious than needing a new gas cap). If it didn't come back on (which it hasn't) then it was most likely due to the gas cap being loose. Another bullet dodged.
But, alas, the car drama still doesn't end there! Yesterday I drove out to Birmingham for my RE appointment (more on that in a moment). It was a hellatious drive and one that I haven't made in a long time. It probably wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for all the road work. I hit some form or another on every major highway. I hit it twice on I-65 -- once in Montgomery and then again on the outskirts of Birmingham. Anyway, the ride was mostly uneventful, just a little longer than I'm used to. The way home was rough. I was tired and I hit a couple of storms so there were a couple of times where I had to do about 35 into 70. I left Birmingham around 3:00 and I didn't get back into town until almost 7:00. (Normally this drive takes me just under three hours.) I immediately went to our local Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. When I turned into the parking lot my BRAKE warning light came on. And then, almost as quickly went back out. I pulled into a parking spot and pulled my hand brake. The light came on (as expected) and then went out when I released the brake. I thought it was a fluke until I turned into Arby's and the same thing happened. And then again when I turned onto a street in our neighborhood. And then again when I pulled into the driveway. The light didn't stay on, though. It was coming on and staying lit for 20 - 30 seconds and then going out. I immediately thought about the $650 brake job I had done a month ago. My front brakes are all brand new and my rear drums were cleaned and adjusted. The last thing I should be having problems with are my freaking brakes! Especially since I've only driven about 800 miles since they were changed and 400 of that was yesterday! Anyway, I called my dad this morning and asked him if my brake fluid could be low. He said it would absolutely cause the problem but just filling it with brake fluid wouldn't solve the underlying problem. Brake systems are self contained. You should rarely, if ever, have to add brake fluid to the resevoir. If you do, there is a leak somewhere. Just. Freaking. Fantastic. So, sure enough, when he opened the fluid resevoir it wasn't just low it was EMPTY. Like seriously BONE DRY. So my dad, after chastising me for taking my car to "amateur mechanics" instead of him, took a look at my calipers and brake lines. Sure enough, the lines were leaking. I was furious to say the least. I told my dad I was taking it back to Expert Tire so they could fix the issue. It was, after all, an issue THEY caused. I've never had this problem before they did the brake job. My dad was afraid that they would call me a silly girl and tell me that the moisture I saw was simply due to the roads being wet from all the rain (nevermind the fact that the lines were perfectly dry except where the connections were) so he called them up before sending me over. They had me in and out in a half hour. Something about a bad O-ring, which they replaced. Nevertheless, I plan to keep an eye on my brake fluid levels. If it starts to go down, I'll be taking it back again. Only THIS time, I'll be bringing my dad, a veteran Army mechanic, along with me. :P
I have to say that my day started off pretty well, though. At my appointment yesterday they drew labs and then I had my annual exam. This morning they called back with the results which are as follows:
- TSH was above three. They like to see it below three and told me to keep taking the 50mcg of Synthroid as directed.
- Cholesterol was normal! A big shocker since PCOSers are predisposed to high cholesterol and I'm not exactly the ideal build.
- CBC showed that my iron count was low. It should be 11.5 or higher and mine was 10.3. They stared me on iron supplements. I am not looking forward to the constipation.
- My pap cultures all came back normal. Hooray again!
- Last, but not least, my fasting insulin was an astounding 5.3!! My jaw hit the floor when she said that. I was totally prepared for it to be much higher than that! For reference sake, when I was first diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance in 2006 my level was above 24. After my first month on metformin it dropped to 12. In two subsequent labs it was 10 and then later on 14. So it has NEVER been this low! She said it was an excellent level. I am not sure how skewed this result might be. Your supposed to be fasting for 8 - 12 hours before they draw blood. I didn't have anything to eat after 8:00 PM on the 29th and they didn't draw the blood for the labs until 1:00 PM on the 30th. Even still, I imagine it couldn't have been too much higher. I'm to continue taking 1500mg of metformin daily. I specifically asked for the immediate release instead of the extended release which they had no problem with.
I started my Synthroid today. The effects on my appetite were incredible. I had to force myself to eat lunch. I have to take it on an empty stomach and am not supposed to eat for at least a half hour afterwards. I wound up being so caught up in getting ready for my busy day that it was nearly 11:00 before I ate anything. I started to feel woozy and scarfed down a sandwich. But every time I thought about eating a bagel or something it just didn't sound appealing. Which is really different since that's what I've been having for breakfast for a couple of weeks now. A cinnamon bagel with cinnamon swirl cream cheese. Or a blueberry bagel with strawberry and cheesecake flavored cream cheese. [drool] I was pretty ravenous at dinner time so I need to make a point about eating smaller meals throughout the day. AF made a rather timely appearance and I'll be starting my birth control pills (Desogen) tonight as well. I'm really hoping this combo of meds will help make losing weight that much easier. My RE and the nurses were all astounded by my weight loss. I've lost 30 pounds since the beginning of the year. I had to make sure and emphasize that I'd gained about 40 pounds in 2008. :P Still, it was nice to get the pats on the back for my efforts and encouragement to keep going. I also found out that my sister's scale is DEAD ON accurate. I weighed myself before I left (being sure to have my clothes on) and I weighed the same amount at the doctor's office.
Today I had a semi-busy day. I had to go to the DMV to register our cars. Today was the last day to do it without the $15 per vehicle penalty. The line was pretty long but the wait wasn't bad at all. Unfortunately, I wish I'd driven out to Dale county to reregister them instead of doing it in Coffee because we wound up having to pay an extra $25 for city tax or something. I could've saved money even though I would've had to drive 28 miles. [shrug] It's just as well, though. Then I took my car to Expert Tire. And then I headed to my stylist to have my hair done. Which, I must say, turned out positively fabulous as usual!
A view from the front.
A view from the back to show the contrasting colors of the top layers vs. the bottom layers.
It's a bit different from the colors I did in March. The bottom layers are the same dark, almost black brown. But the top is much more red than it was in March. Which means it won't fade out quite as nicely but that's okay. Now I'm all set up for portraits when we go up north!
We are leaving here at midnight on the 3rd (well, technically, the 4th). The drive is going to take an estimated 17 hours. I'm wishing I could get a hold of a really GOOD radar detector to cut down our travel time, though. I need to procure a car charger for my iPod so I have some form of entertainment. Reading is out of the question as I get motion sickness quite easily. I wish we could take my sister's Suburban because it's fully loaded, DVD player and TV included. But we won't all fit so we're taking my mom's Trailblazer instead. Only three more days to go! I'm very excited to see everyone! Even if I didn't quite meet my weight loss goal.
And now to go lie down and relax and hopefully pass out after my full day.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
enjoy the silence? not so much.
My sister and the rest of the family left for Panama City Beach on Saturday. I've basically been trying to convince myself for the last week and a half that I really didn't care that I wouldn't be able to go down to the beach with them. Not even for a quick day trip. After all, PCB is so overrated, anyway. And we didn't have the money. And blah blah blahbitty blah. But, sure enough, when the house cleared out around noon on Saturday I was crestfallen. Sad, even. I guess I really wanted to see the Emerald Coast after all.
The Monkey isn't as thick as he sometimes lets on. I was sullen most of Saturday afternoon. Not even the Spongebob Spongebash marathon was cheering me up. That's when The Monkey gave me surprise, middle-of-the-afternoon-the-house-is-completely-devoid-of-lifeforms-that-don't-walk-on-all-fours-be-as-loud-as-you-want sex. Which, I'll admit, did cheer me up. But what really made my day was when he said if we had the $20 it would cost for gas that we should go ahead and make the trip down to PCB for the afternoon. At least we could get some sun and get our fill of the beach. (Not to mention SALT WATER TAFFY!)
We got up early Sunday and got to PCB by 11:00 AM. Naturally, the weather was less than cooperative. We would get hit with the 20% chance of showers. [eyeroll] But we got to swim for a couple of hours. And we hung out with my mom in my sister's condo for another hour. Then we headed to Pier Park and picked up a little over a POUND of Salt Water Taffy for yours truly and headed home. (I am ashamed to admit that the pound of taffy was gone within 48 hours. Er...maybe less.
What made the whole trip go sour for me was not the less-than-desirable weather, though. No, it was the fact that upon our return, The Monkey became ill. Fluids coming from both ends. YUK. We had a bit of a scare when his poo because the consistency of coffee grounds. Thankfully the doctor said it was nothing more than a stomach bug (even though our GP sent us to a surgeon to find this out and for several hours I was on razor's edge thinking The Monkey was going to be having an emergency colonoscopy). He was much better by Tuesday evening. His blood pressure was close to normal (130/80) and he's already dropped 10 pounds (though I'm not sure how much of that was mere fluid loss). He's perfectly fine today and back on solid food again. We had tortellini and garlic bread for supper tonight after living on soup and crackers for the past two nights.
The house is too quiet. My sister's poor dog was depressed the first two days they were gone. He barely ate and only came down from his bed upstairs to go outside. But he's been spending much more time downstairs since Tuesday. In fact, he won't leave me alone!
The week has been boooooooring. The Monkey has to work, of course, so I'm home alone all day. As tempted as I've been, I have not been sleeping until noon, though. I spent some time over at my parents' house and ran errands. At night, The Monkey and I have been enjoying oodles of DVR'd movies from the pay channels. My sister pays for Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO but they hardly ever watch movies. I also caught up on So You Think You Can Dance. (In fact, it's about time for me to go upstairs and watch yesterday's show so I can watch the results show later this evening.)
Only 12 more days until we leave for Pennsylvania. I am pretty stoked! I have lots of stuff to occupy my coming week. I need to get our cars reregistered. On the 30th I have to travel to Birmingham to see my RE. On the 31st I have a hair appointment. Then it'll be another mad dash to clean the house and pack before we depart on the 4th! I should get started on a list of what I need to bring NOW so I'm not scrambling later. If only I could figure out a way to drop these last 10 pounds by the 4th... hmmph.
The Monkey isn't as thick as he sometimes lets on. I was sullen most of Saturday afternoon. Not even the Spongebob Spongebash marathon was cheering me up. That's when The Monkey gave me surprise, middle-of-the-afternoon-the-house-is-completely-devoid-of-lifeforms-that-don't-walk-on-all-fours-be-as-loud-as-you-want sex. Which, I'll admit, did cheer me up. But what really made my day was when he said if we had the $20 it would cost for gas that we should go ahead and make the trip down to PCB for the afternoon. At least we could get some sun and get our fill of the beach. (Not to mention SALT WATER TAFFY!)
We got up early Sunday and got to PCB by 11:00 AM. Naturally, the weather was less than cooperative. We would get hit with the 20% chance of showers. [eyeroll] But we got to swim for a couple of hours. And we hung out with my mom in my sister's condo for another hour. Then we headed to Pier Park and picked up a little over a POUND of Salt Water Taffy for yours truly and headed home. (I am ashamed to admit that the pound of taffy was gone within 48 hours. Er...maybe less.
What made the whole trip go sour for me was not the less-than-desirable weather, though. No, it was the fact that upon our return, The Monkey became ill. Fluids coming from both ends. YUK. We had a bit of a scare when his poo because the consistency of coffee grounds. Thankfully the doctor said it was nothing more than a stomach bug (even though our GP sent us to a surgeon to find this out and for several hours I was on razor's edge thinking The Monkey was going to be having an emergency colonoscopy). He was much better by Tuesday evening. His blood pressure was close to normal (130/80) and he's already dropped 10 pounds (though I'm not sure how much of that was mere fluid loss). He's perfectly fine today and back on solid food again. We had tortellini and garlic bread for supper tonight after living on soup and crackers for the past two nights.
The house is too quiet. My sister's poor dog was depressed the first two days they were gone. He barely ate and only came down from his bed upstairs to go outside. But he's been spending much more time downstairs since Tuesday. In fact, he won't leave me alone!
The week has been boooooooring. The Monkey has to work, of course, so I'm home alone all day. As tempted as I've been, I have not been sleeping until noon, though. I spent some time over at my parents' house and ran errands. At night, The Monkey and I have been enjoying oodles of DVR'd movies from the pay channels. My sister pays for Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO but they hardly ever watch movies. I also caught up on So You Think You Can Dance. (In fact, it's about time for me to go upstairs and watch yesterday's show so I can watch the results show later this evening.)
Only 12 more days until we leave for Pennsylvania. I am pretty stoked! I have lots of stuff to occupy my coming week. I need to get our cars reregistered. On the 30th I have to travel to Birmingham to see my RE. On the 31st I have a hair appointment. Then it'll be another mad dash to clean the house and pack before we depart on the 4th! I should get started on a list of what I need to bring NOW so I'm not scrambling later. If only I could figure out a way to drop these last 10 pounds by the 4th... hmmph.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
just a couple more weeks
Because I didn't continue to steadily and slowly lose weight over the past month, I now have to lose five pounds a week to meet my original goal for August. Since that's obviously not going to happen I am going to lose as much as possible between now and then and hope for the best. I'm really hoping my face clears up before our trip. My mom is talking about portraits and I'd really rather not have to look at this face frozen in time. I have a hair appointment scheduled for the 31st. At least I'll have awesome hair.
So I was going to schedule appointments with an endocrinologist to get new prescriptions for my metformin and Sythroid. But, as it turns out, the only endocrinologist that I can see locally requires a referral from my GP before they'll see me. Then I'd have to fuss around and get records from my RE and everything else. I also wanted to get on birth control pills, preferably before left for Pennsylvania, but my OBGYN couldn't get me in until August 17th. GAAH! So I broke down and called my RE instead. They, as usual, were super nice. They said there wouldn't be a problem managing my PCOS and thyroid. So I have an appointment in Bham for the 30th. It sucks that I have to drive all that way for a 30 minute appointment but at least I'll be able to get all of my meds and my annual pap in one shot. Plus I don't have to wait. So it'll be worth it. Not to mention I won't have to worry about sitting in the waiting room at my OBGYN's office amongst all of the pregnant women. I was dreading that more than the papsmear itself.
I have nothing else exciting going on. I'm looking forward to our trip. My sister is going to the beach for a week. They leave on Saturday which leaves The Monkey and I alone for an entire week. Should be good times. I would like to take a trip down to the beach for a day but I'm not sure if I will.
I am thoroughly excited to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Friday. I'll admit to being a little bummed that we weren't able to go to the midnight premiere last night but I'll get over it. I have absolutely nothing to do today so I think I'll lounge around and try to breeze through the book one more time. I am such a nerd. :P
So I was going to schedule appointments with an endocrinologist to get new prescriptions for my metformin and Sythroid. But, as it turns out, the only endocrinologist that I can see locally requires a referral from my GP before they'll see me. Then I'd have to fuss around and get records from my RE and everything else. I also wanted to get on birth control pills, preferably before left for Pennsylvania, but my OBGYN couldn't get me in until August 17th. GAAH! So I broke down and called my RE instead. They, as usual, were super nice. They said there wouldn't be a problem managing my PCOS and thyroid. So I have an appointment in Bham for the 30th. It sucks that I have to drive all that way for a 30 minute appointment but at least I'll be able to get all of my meds and my annual pap in one shot. Plus I don't have to wait. So it'll be worth it. Not to mention I won't have to worry about sitting in the waiting room at my OBGYN's office amongst all of the pregnant women. I was dreading that more than the papsmear itself.
I have nothing else exciting going on. I'm looking forward to our trip. My sister is going to the beach for a week. They leave on Saturday which leaves The Monkey and I alone for an entire week. Should be good times. I would like to take a trip down to the beach for a day but I'm not sure if I will.
I am thoroughly excited to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Friday. I'll admit to being a little bummed that we weren't able to go to the midnight premiere last night but I'll get over it. I have absolutely nothing to do today so I think I'll lounge around and try to breeze through the book one more time. I am such a nerd. :P
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
just get it out of your head
Even though getting pregnant right now would be nothing short of stupid I still, in the back of my mind, never stopped wishing it would happen. Of course, it hasn't. And I never, truly expected it to. Just that nagging hope poking the back of my brain...
but what if, what if, what if??
In regards to my girly bits, this past year has been freakish. I am used to not having a period for MONTHS at a time. It's one of the 'hallmarks' of PCOS, after all. But this past year I've been semi-regular. Maybe it comes from living with my ultra-fertile, set-a-clock-by-her-periods regular sister. She gets PMS-y and, sure enough, a few days later I am PMS-y. But, unlike her, my cycles were still erratic. A few times I bled for WEEKS at a time. I'd stop bleeding and be all THANK GOD and jump The Monkey's bones only to hear my sister say "Ugh, I'm getting ready to start..." and, after a mere week's reprieve from bleeding, I would start right along with her. I have wanted to hurt her on more than one occasion because of this.
Gradually the length of my period has been dwindling. The longest I went was 20 days. The shortest being last "cycle" during which I had a light flow for about a week. Only to start again ten days later. So, yeah, it's a bit annoying. Not to mention MAJORLY inconvenient. And a little expensive.
Without insurance, it was kind of pointless for me to try and get birth control pills to control things. Plus I want to be on a specific birth control pill (Yasmin) because the progestin in it has shown to help lower androgens. And it helped me lose weight in 2007 when we went on TTC hiatus post miscarriage. (In less than three months, I believe, I dropped 12-ish pounds.) However, now that I have medical insurance, there really isn't any reason for me to torture myself with these insane cycles. I mean, it's not like they are predictable. And they're wreaking havoc on my sex life. And I really don't need to get pregnant right now. And birth control pills are good for helping with PCOS symptoms. And, all in all, it's a wise decision.
And yet.
what if, what if, what if...?
[sigh]
So I guess it's time to make an appointment with my OBGYN for a slightly overdue annual exam. And it's time to seek out an endocrinologist to have all the routine tests done for hypothyroidism and insulin resistance / PCOS. And it's time to focus on getting The Monkey's back pain under control, even if it means potential spine surgery. And it's long past time for both of us to get our health under control. Especially The Monkey's sleep apnea, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol.
It sort of feels like closure. It wreaks of finality that I'm not sure I'm ready to go through but know that I need to go through anyway. Hopefully children are still in our future. Hopefully this time next year I'll go back to my RE, get things rolling again, and be knocked up within a few months rather than a few years.
I know it's the right decision. I know it's the adult and smart decision. But that doesn't change how absolutely wrong it feels.
but what if, what if, what if??
In regards to my girly bits, this past year has been freakish. I am used to not having a period for MONTHS at a time. It's one of the 'hallmarks' of PCOS, after all. But this past year I've been semi-regular. Maybe it comes from living with my ultra-fertile, set-a-clock-by-her-periods regular sister. She gets PMS-y and, sure enough, a few days later I am PMS-y. But, unlike her, my cycles were still erratic. A few times I bled for WEEKS at a time. I'd stop bleeding and be all THANK GOD and jump The Monkey's bones only to hear my sister say "Ugh, I'm getting ready to start..." and, after a mere week's reprieve from bleeding, I would start right along with her. I have wanted to hurt her on more than one occasion because of this.
Gradually the length of my period has been dwindling. The longest I went was 20 days. The shortest being last "cycle" during which I had a light flow for about a week. Only to start again ten days later. So, yeah, it's a bit annoying. Not to mention MAJORLY inconvenient. And a little expensive.
Without insurance, it was kind of pointless for me to try and get birth control pills to control things. Plus I want to be on a specific birth control pill (Yasmin) because the progestin in it has shown to help lower androgens. And it helped me lose weight in 2007 when we went on TTC hiatus post miscarriage. (In less than three months, I believe, I dropped 12-ish pounds.) However, now that I have medical insurance, there really isn't any reason for me to torture myself with these insane cycles. I mean, it's not like they are predictable. And they're wreaking havoc on my sex life. And I really don't need to get pregnant right now. And birth control pills are good for helping with PCOS symptoms. And, all in all, it's a wise decision.
And yet.
what if, what if, what if...?
[sigh]
So I guess it's time to make an appointment with my OBGYN for a slightly overdue annual exam. And it's time to seek out an endocrinologist to have all the routine tests done for hypothyroidism and insulin resistance / PCOS. And it's time to focus on getting The Monkey's back pain under control, even if it means potential spine surgery. And it's long past time for both of us to get our health under control. Especially The Monkey's sleep apnea, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol.
It sort of feels like closure. It wreaks of finality that I'm not sure I'm ready to go through but know that I need to go through anyway. Hopefully children are still in our future. Hopefully this time next year I'll go back to my RE, get things rolling again, and be knocked up within a few months rather than a few years.
I know it's the right decision. I know it's the adult and smart decision. But that doesn't change how absolutely wrong it feels.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
